


The Lives We Lead

by Ribble



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Character, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guardian Angel! Shiro - Freeform, Guardian Angel!Keith, Guardian Angel!Matt, Keith is so soft, Keith just wants to keep Lance safe, Lance thinks no one cares, Lance wants love, Langst, M/M, Motorcycles, Pining, Soulmate AU, keith is cute, let Lance have happiness, protective keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-06-16 17:23:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 49,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribble/pseuds/Ribble
Summary: After years of watching and waiting, Keith now has the task of being the Guardian Angel to his soulmate.Lance has spent his life surrounded by love, but without a soulmate. Keith takes it upon himself to finally initiate contact after far too long just watching.--Featuring Keith pining harder than a pine tree, and Lance as a steadfast non-believer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My 2nd multi-chaptered fic that I plan on finishing! I'm terrible I know.
> 
> I've been trying to avoid s7 spoilers any way I can, and so this fic was born!! So no spoilers coz i don't want to know absolutely anything. I know i will have gotten things wrong by the time the new season rolls out, but let me do me for as long as I can!!
> 
> I'm also just about to start Uni, so not the best time to start a fic, but screw it here I am!! I dont plan this being a monster of a story anyway, so it doesn't really matter anyway, I just want to finish it by the time Voltron finishes!! (which im still salty about wow)

The small coo filled with previously silent room, and tiny little chubby arms reached up to grab falling strands of inky hair as he cradled the infant close to his chest, tears of happiness streaking their way down his face slowly, only to be juxtaposed with an unabashed smile gracing his features.

He leaned down to kiss the child’s forehead softly, “Hello, Lance.”

* * *

Keith dragged a hand through his hair as he watched the two across from him. He had sat both Matt and Shiro down, but currently both Shiro and himself were tiredly waiting for Matt to settle down before starting to talk. Shiro and Matt balanced each other out well. Where Shiro was calm and gentle and a strong person full of support and soft enthusiasm, Matt _didn’t shut up_. He was constantly fiddling or twitching almost as if he was a five year old whose parent let them have free reign and managed to guzzled a litre of overly sugary black coffee within the first two minutes.

Shiro met Keith’s gaze and smiled softly before reaching over and settling his hand over Matt’s, a gesture previously proven to instantly slow the man’s movements. Then both pairs of eyes were on Keith, waiting to hear what Keith had to say.

The breath Keith took in seemed to hurt, almost as if it physically pained Keith to have their eyes on him. But he met their gaze evenly and cracked a small smile, unable to fully contain himself. Their eyes were piercing, and Keith had to force himself that no matter how their outward appearance dictated, they were very dangerous people, but he didn’t need to fear them, not at all.

Shiro’s eyes had always reminded Keith of the storms down on Earth, when the wind whipped through his hair and the rain drowned out all other noise and signs of life, when the dark tumultuous sky gave way to a flash of light, to inevitably be followed by the bellows of the clouds. He used to be scared of storms, so it had seemed oddly fitting that when he had first met Shiro, he also used to fear him.

Matt had very different eyes from Shiro. He had eyes that offered a cunning that Keith had never seen on anyone else. Almond both in shape and colouring, one look in and you could almost physically see the plethora of cogs twisting and turning so quickly, discerning the worthwhile ideas from the rest, the ones to act on and the ones to discard.

His hands were slightly sweaty and ached a little under the pressure at which he was squeezing, he wanted to wipe them on the nearest surface beside himself, but the force required to unfasten his hands from one another didn’t exist to him at that moment. Keith was filled was excitement and joy, but also with trepidation at the reaction of people he considered siblings.

In the end, excitement won, and his wings began to jostle behind him, the tingle of the small movements sending shivers up his spine.

“I’ve uh-- I’ve been approved as a Guardian.”

Matt lurched forward, “Wha-Finally? Are you ready? Humans are a pain you know.” He spoke quickly, his words seemingly melding together. Keith blinked, trying to make sense of the rapidfire nonsense Matt spat as easily as a dragon spat fire.

Shiro looked at Matt, his eyebrows furrowed, “Matt, you were human.” He stated, his dry tone making Keith’s lips twitch slightly.

Matt leaned back, tugging his hand out from under Shiro’s and seemingly catapulting his leg up onto his seat with a huff and made a sound of indignant disgust, “Well, I’d like to think I’ve changed since that phase.”

“Phase? Is that what you’re calling your time as a human?”

“Yep!” Matt popped the ‘P’ and winked starting to rock back and forth slowly, “Quality character development I’d say.”

“Unbelievable,” Shiro muttered as he closed his eyes slowly and shook his head in what Keith could only take as emotional exhaustion, “You really, _really_ haven’t.”

Matt squawked and started to speak, but Shiro had turned his eyes back to Keith, “Good luck Keith, you’ll need it.”

Keith let out what could be interpreted as a grunt or a slight chuckle depending on how long a person had known him, “Something tells me you’ll need it more than me” Both Shiro and Keith shot a dry look at the third member of their conversation.

“Humans are a hassle!” Matt continued to interject from his place next to Shiro, unknowingly proving Keith’s point.

“We used to be human.” Shiro sighed, but his tired persona also bore a warm grin, letting everyone around him know he was truly enjoying himself. About time too, in Keith’s humble opinion.

Matt threw his arms in the air, “Keyword. Used. We used to be. But we’ve _grown_.”

“You’re delusional.” Keith uttered dryly before turning back to the considerably older man, “But Shiro, he’s five years old, how bad could he be?” He would be what? -- a metre tall at most? And besides, what’s the worst he could do? Kill him? Well good luck killing the dead Lance.

“Ah, _no_ .” Matt cut in forcefully, making motions with his hands as if to karate chop his way into the conversation again. He had way too much energy. “Young children are the worst. They know they're being asses but just _don't give a fuck_. They will slaughter you, feed you to satan. Don’t underestimate a young 'defenceless' child.” His voice rose the longer he spoke, seemingly working himself up over the demonic child he was envisioning, his hands up quoting the end of his mini-tirade.

Keith stared blankly at Matt and slowly raised an eyebrow before directing his attention back to Shiro, who had a red patch on his left temple from rubbing the area too often. Definitely Matt’s doing. If they weren’t already dead Keith would have sworn Matt would have sent Shiro to an early grave. That, or Shiro would have snapped and murdered Matt long before that.

“What children do you even know, especially _now_?”

“Well my sister, for starters! When she was real young she was an absolute terror! She punched me straight in the face one time! She knocked out my front tooth! And then she _laughed at me_ , the   _heathen_!”

Keith and Shiro tried to compress their laughter at Matt’s apparent tale of woe. Keith doubted that his human would try punch him like that, besides, he couldn’t actually touch him while he was awake, and even when he was asleep, he could only be touched if so wished to be. He’d be fine. Surely.

Keith stood abruptly, his shoulders still shaking with the vestiges of unreleased laughter. “Well I’m gonna go, I’ll see you Shiro?”

“Feelin’ the love there Keithy-Boy.” Matt muttered, his lower lip gutting out.

Shiro ignored Matt as if he wasn’t even there to begin with. “You know it. And remember-”

Keith joined in, and two voices chanted, “Patience yields focus.”

A cheeky smirk laced Keith’s features as Shiro blinked at him, stunned, but recovered quickly, “At least I’ve managed to teach you at least one thing.” He said with a chuckle, and gathered the smaller boy into a tight embrace. Shiro’s strong Hawk-like wings rose up to cover them, almost instinctively. Keith’s arms immediately rose to grip at the mans back.

When they parted Matt had his arms crossed, “Had a nice little bonding moment there?”

Keith shrugged, “Yeah,” Keith stretched his arms slightly, and stretched his wings out, preparing himself for the flight. “I’ll see you later!” He gave the pair a mock salute and took to the sky.

Even after years, the rush of being able to fly brought such joy to Keith. The idea of feeling the wind through his hair, to fall or climb as he so desired was such a beautiful feeling that he wanted to experience forever. He pulled in his wings and began to plunge, looking upwards at the expanse sky and sun.

He spread his arms as wide as they went, fingers splayed wide, and fell, a wide grin on his face. His hair was tickling his cheeks, and while a not overly comfortable feeling, it wasn’t  painful either. He could hear the whistle of the wind in his ears and the tingle between his fingers.

After all this time, Keith’s insides still did a loop-de-loop whenever he flew like this. Though Keith had always been an adrenaline junkie and craved the the rush that flight gave, soaring through the sky without human limitations always made Keith feel giddy, and everytime he flew his stomach climbed higher and higher in his throat. At this rate Keith wouldn’t be surprised if it jumped out of his mouth and flew away on its own miniature wings.

He felt himself slipping into a backward nosedive, and his wings shot outwards, giving him another rush, his arms still spread wide, their length dwarfed by the size of his wings. Jet black and strong, never letting him down.

The rush of the wind between his feathers and through his hair always made him feel bright and light inside, felt like he was full of helium bubbles. He craved the feeling, and savoured the times he could just be out by himself, and he could be completely just _Keith_.

As he dove and weaved his way through the clouds he didn’t regret anything. Wouldn’t change anything. He was truly his happiest here, like this.

He was completely free. Able to go anywhere, see anything, whenever he wanted. Keith couldn’t imagine ever wanting any other life.

Keith reluctantly balanced himself out, with every intention of finally, _finally_ meeting his special human. He felt lighter than air at this chance he was finally given.

His cheeks began to hurt from his grin. For Keith, finally getting to watch over the person put on the planet for him after so long was such a weird but welcome feeling. Being able to protect them and keep them from every harm. Being able to communicate, if possible! He looked at his mark, as it lay warm and comforting on his wrist. A mark that had once been marred and the cause of so much pain.

Keith had lived his life never having met his soulmate. It  had made him angry and bitter at everyone around him who did. The countless movies, songs and books depicting miracle meetings that should have given him hope only existed to take it away. So much so he retreated into himself. He shut everyone out, never went out, never made friends, he was well and truly alone in the world.

It was only once Keith passed away that he found out just _why_ he was always alone.  His soulmate had yet to be born. He had been alone because his soulmate wasn’t there at all yet.

But he was now. And Keith was his Guardian.

Guardians were assigned to one human at a time, only declaring their task complete when their soul was officially reaped and passed into the next realm of existence, where Keith now existed. Their task was to stop negative energy from taking over their psyche and causing chaos and destruction to their soul.

There were special cases, like Keith’s, where one half of a soul pair dies a considerably young death, or before their other half was even born. They were then assigned to become the Guardian of their soulmate left on Earth as soon as they could, until came a point where the other died and joined their partner.

Keith wanted to be mad that he was only being allowed now to become Lance’s Guardian. He could only guess that the higher ups just loved over - punishing him, after all,  Lance was turning five years old that year, yet Keith had been dead for a longer time than that. He wanted to rage, to be furious, but Keith didn’t want to potentially tarnish any memory pertaining to Lance in any way. So he bit his tongue.

Shaking his head, his hair whipping like needles, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind and pushed his wings faster. Faster. _Faster_.

His soulmate, his _human_ was waiting for him. He shouldn’t be late.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into Lance's life growing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, what's up?
> 
> I love writing this story so much, and idk how long it will be, but i just learned that voltrons only getting 8 seasons and im not okay.

Keith quickly learned Lance was definitely a kid with energy to spare. Always babbling in a mixture of one or two languages, moving, or most times, both at the same time, with varying degrees of success. 

Keith had found himself quite exhausted with the boy, with learning the Spanish language, which took Keith a lot longer than he cared to admit. Languages was never Keith’s strong point, despite having been bilingual himself in life. Besides that, he spent his time preventing injuries from being as bad as they should have been, or reducing healing times, because more often than not, his skin was broken or in the stages of healing. He was in constant motion.

For all that it was taxing on the angel, it was constantly rewarding at the same time. Getting to see Lance’s face light up in a cheeky grin, especially when Lance went through the phase of losing his teeth, which he seemed to do all at once rather than over a period of time. Lance’s smile was worth every single thing Keith had to his name. Which admittedly, wasn’t much at all, but Keith liked to think it was the thought that really mattered.

The past thirteen years had been a whirlwind to Keith, between his home and spending Lance’s every waking moment beside him. Though he couldn’t be seen with the human eye, or felt when Keith touched him, sometimes he so secretly wished that he could make himself known. For all the hundreds of times he thought about it, not once had he followed through with it.

So he had yet to actually make contact , too scared of what Lance would think of him, if he thought he was creepy or stalkerish. So Keith had kept out of Lance’s dreams, and instead to just watched and protected.

Lance had made the cutest little kid. He was fascinated with his soulmark, which always filled Keith with so much love and adoration. Lance constantly fiddled with the skin there, sometimes slightly bruising it with how much he touched it. He refused to show anyone, even his closest family, having claimed that ‘it’s only for my soulmate to see!’

He and met his best friend Hunk while in pre-primary. Lance hadn’t any friends before that point in time, most other kids saying he was ‘too loud’ or ‘too annoying’. Keith hadn’t been happy at all when he found Lance with a scuffed knee due to bullies one day.

But he and Hunk  had been the odd ones out when everyone had partnered with their friends, and had to pair up together. Hunk hadn’t known about Lance’s ‘reputation’ at that point, having just enrolled that year.

They made each other laugh, and Hunk supported Lance where Keith himself couldn’t, though Keith tried to not overhear what Hunk had to say to get Lance out of some of his  _ moods _ . Boy did Keith know about his moods. They broke his heart in half. Big sobs and snotty noses and enough tears to fill an olympic size swimming pool. Keith was proud to say Lance had grown out of them. He doubted his heart could take another one without intervening.

But Lance and Hunk hadn’t looked back, and now as young adults, they were brothers in everything but name.

Second had come Katie Holt, or Pidge, as she was known to the boys. They had noticed the small girl near the start of their year 8. Having moved up a few grades, and most others in their cohort had shunned her for being a know-it-all and ‘trying to one up everyone’. And while it was true that she was a brainy kid, full of quips and snide remarks, but she was also incredibly down to Earth. Who, unwittingly, also functioned as a pillar of stability for the newly minted trio, whether any of them knew it or not. Pidge had a special bond with both Hunk and Lance that was so different to the one Lance and Hunk had shared. They were able to rely on her for anything, no matter how outlandish or wild, and she wouldn’t bat an eye, already ten steps ahead of them.

Keith watched as Lance excelled in his schoolwork, but always appeared to others like he slacked off. Lance was full of illusions, Keith had learned. While he did nothing in his classes except chatter and fidget, Keith saw how he would rake through textbooks and websites until the early hours of the morning.

He had told his schoolmates in Year 9 that he got a fancy job at a bowling alley as a party host for childrens parties a few suburbs out, making sure this ‘bowling alley job’ was just far enough that it would be out of someone's way and a waste of time to actually go and check that he actually worked there.

Where he actually worked was at the local tutoring centre, helping young kids with fundamentals that they didn’t quite grasp from their days at school. Keith saw the joy it brought Lance, and in turn he enjoyed watching Lance’s face as he watched a child under his tutelage finally understand a concept. His face would light up, a grin working its way across his face so huge it crinkled his eyes. Keith had noticed quite early on that Lance possessed the cutest dimples, and his heart melted every time he saw them, for they only revealed themselves when his smile was true.

Lance met Allura not long after that, when Lance was around seventeen years old and in his final year of highschool. Allura was a University student, a counter-terrorism major who also had such an inspiring disposition that kids flocked to her whether she wanted them to or not.

Though that wasn’t to say she was nice all the time. She was a lovely person, but sometimes doesn’t realise the impact she has on people, be it positive or negative. Her voice could cut glass when she was upset, and since she couldn’t take her frustrations out on the children, Lance often received the brunt of it.

Keith hadn’t been happy with that arrangement. Lance was a sensitive soul, and although Allura’s aggressions weren’t due to Lance’s actions, it was hard to not take it personally when an intimidating force is talking at you with a voice full of steely venom. It took its toll on Lance, Keith could tell, and yet Lance smiled and laughed, and through it all still held respect for her. And for the most part, Keith respected her too, but he sorely wished that Lance would tell her enough was enough, to keep a diary or buy a punching bag, to stop using him as a coping mechanism. Hell, get a whole gym membership for all Keith cared, just stop using Lance. Couldn’t she see the negative effect it had on him?

Lance shut the door of his room, and as always Keith felt slightly bad that he was watching in, but after thirteen years, had tried his hardest to squash that feeling, yet it never quite went away. He noticed Lance’s under eye bags were slightly bigger, and his movements sloth-y and clumsy. Lance wasn’t naturally clumsy. He overcompensated when he was clumsy, putting on a show for the people watching, to keep up that whole illusion he was so intent on keeping in place.

Lance dropped his bag on the floor and rubbed his visibly red shoulder. He stumbled over it, getting his foot caught in one of the straps, before violently shaking it out, his face scrunching immediately into a frown, to finally sit on his bed before letting out a huge sigh and letting his face fall into his hands, all tension leaving his body as gravity seemed to weigh him down.

The silence of the room was deafening, and Keith found himself sitting down next to Lance, instinctively wrapping a wing around the boy. Lance visibly shivered, but otherwise didn’t have any outward reaction to the giant black wing cradling him. Granted, he couldn’t see it or feel its weight, only feeling a slight prickling sensation over where feathers touched him.

Keith didn’t want to touch him with his hands, or give him a hug, not really knowing what to do when someone you loved was crying right next to you. He fiddled with his fingers instead, playing with his joints and the tops of his nails.

He didn’t have nice hands. They were scarred from his humanity, but now in death were smooth, having found other hobbies that allowed his hands to move quickly, but didn’t tear them apart. His fingers were swollen, and his middle fingers had a definite outward lean to them. He bit his nails when he was stressed, and had a bad habit of cracking his knuckles at every chance he had.

Keith let out a sharp yelp as Lance threw himself back, complete with the intention of laying back onto his bed, unknowingly bringing Keith’s wing with him, pain ripped its way through Keith’s wing and his back, before yanking it back before Lance unknowingly laid on it, grasping it close to his chest as the pain began to fade. He stroked it tenderly, feeling soft feather beneath his fingers.

The jostling of the bed from Lance’s fall rocked the both of the them back into silence, and Keith released his wing before intertwining his fingers and letting them fall into his lap once more.

Time dragged on, neither figure moving for what could have been eternity before Lance’s breathing evened out, signaling the younger boys descent into sleep.

Keith let out a steady breath before turning around to peer at his soulmate’s face. While Keith was glad he was asleep, Keith much preferred Lance while he was awake, all smiles and heavy belly laughs and really, really shitty jokes that he told his family, to hunk and to Pidge. And to Allura, to a lesser extent, but she didn’t really understand a multitude of he jokes.

In sleep he looks too small, too flat.  He looked sad. His brow was slightly furrowed, but what had Keith whip around to cup Lance’s face tenderly were the tear streaks covering his cheeks, still wet with small droplets.

Keith felt a small lump rising in his throat. Lance had been crying for god knows how long and Keith had just been sitting right next to him not doing a thing, only fiddling with his stupid fingers.

Keith reached down to intertwine a hand with Lance’s when he noticed the scratches. Angry and red and bloody and covering his soulmark. Keith had to bite his tongue to keep his tears in check.

Oh. Everything made perfect sense now.

Everything was crystal clear. Keith hated himself for not realising. For not seeing Lance’s pain sooner.

The long hours at the pool, Lance’s constant presence at work, the complete immersion into homework that took him into the early hours of the morning, and the deep social bond with his friends.

It was so he didn’t have to be alone by himself. So he didnt have to think about anything else aside from his constant stream of commitments. Lance didn’t want to think about his soulmark, or Keith, because it, and him brought Lance so much pain that he didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts.

He was just like Keith had been, when Keith was alive, but had turned to his busy schedule and his friends to take his pain away, whereas Keith had retreated into himself,

Keith stroked Lance’s cheek softly, feeling a couple tears make their way down his face.

He understood what Lance was feeling. The burning in your chest next to the coldness beside you, having no one there.

He placed a chaste kiss on Lance’s forehead. He was here. Keith was there solely for Lance. He wanted to shake him awake and show himself. To cry and scoop him into a never-ending embrace and pepper his face with the softest of kisses till he smiled that one smile that warmed what Keith thought was his very soul.

But would Lance hate him for not showing himself sooner? Think him a crazy stalker watching him constantly? Or would he hold Keith tight like he so desperately craved? He reluctantly let go of Lance and clenched his fists.

He stood up and backed away from Lance’s sleeping figure, unsure of what he should do.

He needed to talk to Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I'm not sure how long I can keep up a weekly updating schedule, uni's already pretty busy, so i might have to make it every fortnight, but i'll see how things'll go before i make that decision.
> 
> i wonder what i have to do for fanart? coz oml i think i would actually die if i ever got fanart for one of my fics. I would def 100000% cry with happiness for sure tho.
> 
> But as always, leave a comment telling me what you liked, what you loved, what you hated and what I could do better! I live for responses. I seriously adore everyone of my commenters so much. It's so lovely seeing what people think of my writing!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a revelation (Shiro helps)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!
> 
> Season 7... wow. Just wow. I've had plenty to say about it, and overly, not all bad! I quite enjoyed this season, though that's not to say some parts of it weren't my favourite, but a lot can change in 13 episodes, and i'm confident that the final season will be one of the best (if not THE best) seasons.
> 
> Uni has been ramping up slightly, so like i said last chapter, I'll keep doing weekly updates until i simply cant sustain it any longer (but lets hope that day never comes!!)

The weight weighing down on Keith’s chest seemed to wind him. It was like he couldn’t breathe. It was all his fault. The blame was white hot in his heart.

Keith fumbled with his fingers, not knowing how exactly to start the conversation.He couldn’t just say  _ “Hey Shiro yeah I’ve just given my soulmate what appears to be severe depression, I dunno how long he’s been like this coz I somehow missed all the signs. So, what do I do?”  _ That plan of action was a no-go for sure.

Keith met Shiro’s eyes, while ever kind and patient, they betrayed his exhaustion. Even their kind needed sleep, though significantly less than their human counterparts. After all, they were meant to be with their charges for every moment they were awake.

He doubted anyone, Human or Angel, enjoyed being woken up while in the clutches of a fitful rest. He watched as Shiro rubbed an eye with his arm.

“Shiro, I-” Keith started, before abruptly sitting down across from Shiro, his legs turning to jelly. “It’s Lance.” He stated simply, his voice stoic and empty.

Shiro sat forward slightly, his only arm dropping to rest on his spread knees, leaning forward, “Has something happened?”

Keith only nodded mutely, not being able to find the exact words that would allow him to properly convey how he was feeling. A cocktail of guilt, desperation, motivation to help his soulmate.

“What’s happened?” Shiro repeated, his voice was still shaking off vestiges of sleep, but his eyes were focused and steady.

At that moment words tumbled out of Keith's mouth before he could think of what to say, “He’s running himself ragged. He's _breaking_ himself Shiro! He’s lonely and trying to fill up all his time so he doesn’t have to be alone. S-Should Should I do something?” Keith started to work himself up into a slight frenzy, his words coming out shaky and stuttered and louder. He hissed in pain when he bent his finger too far back in his harsh fidgeting.

“I know it’s my job to protect him, but how do I protect him from himself!?” The large outburst startled Shiro, who pulled his hand back slightly, which he had been reaching out to place on Keith’s shaking shoulder. Keith blinked furiously, looking at his stupid hands before meeting Shiro’s eyes.

“Takashi…” Keith trailed off, and all tension was released from his body, his shoulders slumping and his head lowering, “How do I even do that?” He whispered, feeling tears start to roll down his face, the emotion that he wanted to let out. But it wasn’t enough. It scratched the surface of the turmoil churning inside him, like the power of a roaring ocean bound by the confines of his body.

“It’s because of  _ me _ that he’s feeling this way. He’s systematically watching his friends find their soulmates, seeing them light up with happiness beside the person that completes them, meanwhile he’s wondering why he can’t find his. It’s  _ my _ fault!”

Shiro stood up, “Keith,” He said softly, and brushed his messy hair out of his eyes, “This isn’t your fault.” He took a step toward Keith, whose hands were digging into his arms, almost as if trying to restrain himself.

“it’s because I’m like  _ this _ !” Keith gestured to himself wildly, his hands splayed and he had blood under the nails, “I’m  _ dead _ Takashi! How is that not my fault? I’m his soulmate and I’m not even alive! I’ve visited my own grave! How is that not my fault!?”  He repeated, his voice raising higher and higher until it was almost a shout. Keith shut his eyes, his hands shakily covering his mouth as a choked sob was released.

Silently Shiro made his way over to Keith and placed an arm around the younger boy, pulling him closer. He received little resistance, aside from the occasional hiccup hidden and muffled by Keith’s quivering hands.

He lowered them both to the ground slowly, rubbing Keith’s shoulder comfortingly, letting the two pairs of wings extend behind them

“Keith,” He started, unsure of how to phrase his words, “Being a Guardian, it’s hard enough already, and being a Guardian to your  _ Soulmate _ ? I can’t imagine the pain that would cause you. But nonetheless, there are times when your charge does things that make you ache inside, but we stand by and just watch things play out, and then we regret that we never stepped in and changed the outcome. I...I-I still regret not step--” Shiro shook his head at himself, this was not the time.

Shiro looked at Keith, who was staring off at the space in front of them, but he knew he was listening.

“You’ve never been the type to just watch Keith, so, if you think you can change something…” Shiro trailed off and smiled when he felt Keith go rigid beside him. Keith looked up at met Shiro’s slowly grinning face.

Keith pulled away to face him head on, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Shiro pushed his now free hand through his hair, “I’m telling you to have no regrets Keith.” His voice was warm as Keith adjusted himself and stood up quickly, and Shiro could almost see him bouncing on the tips of his toes. Ready to take flight at a moments notice.

He recoiled as a hand was suddenly shoved in his face, and Shiro followed the hand up the arm to Keith’s face. His face was marred by a normally puckered scar, though now it was pushed upwards and wrinkled due to the large grin. There were tear tracks on both cheeks, though Keith quickly raised his other arm to wipe at them. His eyes were bright again, filled with hope.

Shiro gripped his hand and allowed Keith to pull him to his feet and clap him on the back, in the middle between his wings.

They pulled away and stepped back from one another, and he watched as Keith turned his back on him, his wings slightly quivering, betraying Keith’s excitement and released a rush of air, “Keith!” Shiro hated to stop him.

He turned around, the tips of his wings sweeping the floor.

Shiro deflated slightly, feeling tiredness slip back into his bones, “Maybe just his dreams for now? Too much too quickly would be…” He trailed off as he saw Keith smile become a smirk. “Don’t be reckless.”

“Reckless? Me? Never.” The mirth in his voice hung in the air long after Keith himself left.

But still, Shiro remained rooted to the floor, looking fondly as Keith disappeared and then some.

“Takashi?” Came a soft voice behind him, and Shiro turned to find Matt standing behind him. Keith’s yelling must have woken the sparrow up. Matt closed the distance between them and brought his forehead to Shiro’s, a hand gently resting on the taller man's neck.

Matts other arm snaked around his waist, pulling them closer together. They stood, taking in each other silently for a moment, before Matt felt Shiro’s forehead fall onto his shoulder, and Matt reached out to pull his soulmate into a bone crushing hug, feeling wetness soaking through the clothes covering his shoulder.

“Takashi, nothing could have been done differently.”  Matt’s soothing words met his ears and he felt the Sparrow’s wings engulf him, surrounding them in shades of warm browns and pure whites. Shiro felt himself calming down, enough to stop the oncoming tears, and to swallow the growing lump in his throat.

The gentle circles Matt had began rubbing on his lower back were soothing, and both soulmates seemed to lose all the tension in their bodies at once. “Let’s get some more sleep.” Matt whispered, breaking the silence, “Keith will be fine.”

Shiro mumbled his agreement from Matt’s shoulder, not wanting to part from the warmth Matt radiated, and Matt laughed softly at the tickling sensation his breath left.

* * *

Keith didn’t even bother splaying his wings, instead choosing to free fall for as long as he could. The wind coaxed tears out of the corners of Keith’s eyes, though he didn’t feel like crying, not anymore.

His eyes were closed as he fell, pure joy running through his veins. Hair flying above him, he snuck a peak when he thought he was close to the ground, and finally shot his wings out at the last possible moment, and only to slow himself down and lower himself onto the ground, not fancying a kiss with it. Once was enough.

Melting through walls and into Lance’s room for the second time that night, he noticed Lance hadn’t moved, and he was in the exact same position to how Keith left him. He had tucked Lance into his bed, not wanting the freezing chill of the July wind to seep into his bones. He had debated even going to so far as to heat up a hot water bottle for him, but had prioritised his talk with Shiro first. Besides, Lance didn’t look too cold, the blanket slightly bunched under his chin.

Keith made his way over to Lance’s bed, his wings making a soft swishing sound behind him. Sitting on the bed slightly to concentrate. The first time at attempting to enter Lance’s dreams would take a lot of energy out of him. Placing his fingers on Lance’s temples, he adjusted how he sat, his wings locking up slightly. He would be here for a while hopefully, and the last thing Keith wanted was a cramped wing.

His hair fell in his face but Keith ignored it, closing his eyes and focusing all his energy. He didn’t actually know what he was doing, but he’d give it a good crack before asking for help.

The stark white took him by complete surprise, before dulling to a slight grey. Keith could only assumed whatever he did somehow worked. He had to admit that he never thought he’d get it right on the first try.

Getting over the initial surprise of actually entering Lance’s mindscape, he began to worry about how empty it was. The only noise Keith heard was the ringing of Lance’s tinnitus. It was slightly dizzying, but Keith pushed on to start visualising what he wanted to create in front of him.

Crystal blue water as far as the eye could see, azure skies, glistening white sand with tall, established palm trees providing ample shade from the sun that Keith could see, but not feel.

The temperature was perfectly comfortable, not having to worry about being burned by the harsh sun, or moving between sun and shade to escape the scalding heat.

Keith hid his wings, not wanting to startle Lance with his admittedly, imposing black crow’s wings. Everyone he had met after he died was always taken aback at first at the sight of the seemingly ongoing wall of black feathers.

He felt slightly off-balance without them. After so long with them, to be without them could only be described as off putting and weird to Keith. He rolled his shoulders, trying to get used to the overly light feeling.

He shook his head slightly, erasing those thoughts. Now only one thing left to finish Keith’s masterpiece. Lance himself.

Bringing Lance into his own mindscape was the easiest part of the whole endeavour, Keith found. He barely had to think about it before Lance suddenly seemed to appear out of thin air, up to his ankles in the blue water.

Lance took a step back onto the sand, looking around at his surroundings with wide eyes seemingly the same colour as the water. Though the water simply couldn’t compare.

Butterflies seemed to suddenly appear in Keith’s stomach. This was his soulmate he was about to talk to. Was he _ really _ ready for this?

Keith sucked in a breath and licked his lips, trying to muster an obscene amount of courage he just didn’t have. He had to do this. For Lance.

He stepped forward, the crunch of his footstep into the soft sand alerting Lance that he wasn’t the only one here at that moment.

Their eyes connected, and Keith felt all the air leave his lungs. Lance was finally  _ seeing _ him. Keith was finally meeting his soulmate as Keith, and not as his Guardian.

Watery and soft Indigo eyes met apprehensive, wide cornflower blue. Keith swallowed again before opening his mouth to speak.

“Hello Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always let me know what you liked and hated in this weeks chapter!! And also what I can improve on. Because there is a 120% that there is plenty i need to work on so dont be shy!!
> 
> I'm not going to expand on my thoughts about s7 unless directly asked in the comment section, so do that if you have any questions for me!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith sees what's going on with Lance and doesn't like what he hears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I hate myself too dw.

Keith tried to maintain eye contact with Lance, closely watching the younger boys movements. Lance had jolted slightly at the sound of Keith’s voice, most likely shaken by the break of silence, and the presence of another being in what Lance thought was merely a dream.

Lance tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes, “Who are hell are you?” His voice sounded… weird, off to Keith. Keith inwardly steeled himself, for as long as he could remember, it was his dream to finally talk to his soulmate, to initiate contact, although he wished it would have been with better circumstances.

Keith exhaled, his breath slow, and had to remind himself, for everything Keith knew about Lance, every embarrassing thing he did, every mistake he made, every smile he wears, every inflection of his voice, every mask he wears, all ingrained into Keith’s soul; Lance didn’t even know he existed. It jarred Keith into his very core. Of course he had known that, but it hurt for Lance to actually unknowingly voice it.

“Hi,” He waved, slightly awkwardly. It had been a while since he introduced himself to anyone. The last time had been with an angel named Romelle, who coincidentally was the Guardian to Lance’s friend, Shay.

“I’m… I’m Keith.” He said plainly, not knowing what else to say. He hadn’t used his last name since before he died, so didn’t include that. Should he include his favourite colour? Favourite food? Or would that be weird? His answer seemed inadequate as he saw one of Lance’s eyebrows raise, almost as if Lance was waiting for him continue. Keith just started to chew on his lip.

“Keith.” Lance repeated slowly, testing his name on his lips, and Keith was hypnotised by the simple movement. He ran his tongue over his lips before he spoke again, “Is that a mullet?”

Keith blinked, his mouth hanging open slightly _What?_ He couldn’t have heard that correctly. Surely!

This was _not_ how Keith had envisioned his first contact with his soulmate going. At all.

Keith fumbled for the right words in his astonishment, and felt himself pulling and twisting his fingers in a physical display of his unpreparedness for Lance’s question, “No I-It’s a -- I have a wide fringe!” He indignantly protested.

Lance didn’t look at all convinced, he planted a hand on his hip, in what Keith remembered Lance calling his ‘Sassy Pants Lance’ pose when he was practising it in front of his mirror, and Keith couldn’t help but smile. God his soulmate was so cute.

“It’s a mullet.” Wait, no he wasn’t.

“It’s not a mullet.”

“It’s definitely a mullet.” Definitely not cute.

“It is _not_ a mullet.”

Lance shrugged noncommittally and did a half-assed roll of his blue eyes, trying (and failing) to put on an air of indifference, like he didn’t care if Keith had a wide fringe or a mullet, which was a wide fringe, _not_ in any way a mullet. “Agree to disagree. We’ll settle this later.”

Keith’s voice was hopeful, “Later?” He still enjoyed talking to him? He couldn’t help but feel giddy, his hands getting clammy.

He watched Lance freeze, his hands dropping from his hips and his tone was uncomfortable when he spoke, “Sorry I… I just lost track of where I am... and thought you were real for a sec.” Lance ran a hand through his hair roughly and closed his eyes, forcing out a strangled laugh tension building in his shoulders “Pretty lame of me huh, You just seem so _real_. ”

Keith shuffled his feet slightly. He would usually be quivering or shuffling his wings, but his feet would have to fill in for him now.  “I-I I mean I…”

Lance seemed to not hear Keith as he grabbed onto the hair at the back of his head, letting the rest of his arm dangle behind his head. And opened his eyes slowly, “Just who are you anyway?”

Play it cool. First impressions matter. Well… what was left of his first impression anyway. Had he already wasted it? Don’t freak him out like a bull out of a gate. Take your time. As Shiro constantly told him: _Patience yields focus_.

“Would you believe me if I said I was your Guardian angel?”

That wasn’t the plan! Let’s just go full steam ahead! _Way to go Keith_ , and Shiro said to _take it slow!_

But Keith’s inner turmoil flew over Lance’s head, and he let out a dry laugh, “No. Angels aren’t real”

They looked at each other expectantly, waiting for the other to continue the conversation. For Keith to bite at the antagonistic claim so they could continue their tit-for-tat banter. Neither did for what felt like an eternity to Keith. The angel looked at his soulmate amused, internally thinking about how Lance would react when eventually, one day,  he found out Keith really was his Guardian angel. “So…”

Lance sighed, and his arms dropped to his sides, “I thought you only saw faces that you’ve seen before in your dreams, and I’m fairly certain I’ve never seen you before” Lance roughly gestured to his cheek with an open hand. Oh. His scar. It had been a sore point both physically and emotionally. He had hated it until he had met Shiro, who had more scars than anyone else he had ever seen and had never once been ashamed.

Lance knocked Keith out of his shallow reverie, “So what are you doing here? I didn’t know my mind could come up with someone so awkward.” Lance chuckled slightly, and even at the slight barb Keith smiled.

“Do I need a reason?” He looked out onto the horizon before flicking his eyes back to Lance with a smirk, his voice condescendingly amused, “After all, like you said, I’m not real.”

Lance blinked, “Oh yeah, I forgot again,” He looked at the sand at his feet, covering his feet and the edges of his ankles.

Keith’s smirk fell when Lance’s figure slumped slightly and remained silent. “What’s wrong?”

Keith made a move to sit down on the soft white sand. Both standing like they were gave Keith weird stand off vibes, like the old western films he used to watch when he was alive and a child.

There was one tiny problem in Keith’s star studded ‘sit down’ plan. He was used to sitting down with his wings behind him, balancing him as he sat. As of that moment, did not possess his wings.

He felt himself falling before his brain caught up. It also lagged when it came as to _why_ Keith suddenly wasn’t about to smash his head on the not-real dream sand.

Keith’s cheeks became hot and he felt himself go red as he saw Lance’s face, framed by the sun as a halo, smiling down at him delighted. Like their roles were reversed, like Lance was his Guardian, and Keith his human. Lance’s arms were thin, but strong, and Keith’s face was no doubt resembling a tomato at this point.

Lance’s mouth moved, but Keith heard nothing, too busy staring at Lance. His face was so close, he could be kissing his lips, chapped from being bitten and from the cold, but kissing nonetheless. Besides, Keith couldn’t really talk, having a bad habit of chewing his lips no matter the weather, not that he felt the weather at any rate.

Lance furrowed his brow slightly, knocking Keith back into Lance’s dream and away from his own. “Wh-?”

“I _said,”_ Lance stressed, “Wow, looks like you’ve really fallen for me.” He waited patiently for Keith to grasp his stupid joke, a dumb grin taking over his features.

_Yes._

“No.” _A million times yes_.

Lance’s smile dulled, but didn’t fall, and he hadn’t let Keith fall yet either, and Lance was still dipping him, quite romantically, if seen by outsiders. Luckily for them, there weren’t, and even if there were, Keith was quite a private person so they wouldn’t have seen any more.

Keith shook his head slightly, knocking his previous thoughts out of his head and remembered the reason for his visit.

What was the time? How much time did Lance have asleep? He needed to move quickly. He needed to get Lance to talk, to tell Keith what he really felt. Talking was better than repression.

With great regret, Keith shrugged himself out of Lance’s arms, and finally sat himself gently down on the sand, Lance mimicking his actions. “You wish, besides, haven’t you got a soulmate waiting for you?” Keith hated to say it.

He watched Lance’s soft swaying still immediately, his eyes locked straight ahead of him. Keith followed his gaze out to the dream-sea. “I’d like to think that, but I’m not so sure anymore.” His voice was small.

“Why? Everyone has a soulmate. Things have a funny way of working out you know. Maybe trust your angel?” _Why did he say that?_ He shrugged it off at the dry look Lance shot him, and a gentle smile came to rest on Keith’s lips. He so desperately wanted to scream ‘ _ME! IT'S ME! I’M YOUR SOULMATE! I’M RIGHT HERE!’_ but he bit the inside of his cheek, having to physically swallow to keep the words back.

“Yeah yeah I know,” Lance mumbled, and rested his chin on his palms with a slight _thump_. The pair sat in silence for a while, Keith watching Lance’s silhouette, waiting for more, hoping it would come.

“It’s… It’s just, for as long as I could remember. I’ve loved my soulmate. I don’t care who they are, what they look like. I _adore_ my soulmate.I love them already and I haven’t even met them. Knowing there’s someone on this planet who will understand me, and love me for all of who I am, my faults, my insecurities, and for what I hate about myself. To me, that is so unique, and so _special_ that I-” Lance cut himself off with a swallow, and Keith noted the tears at the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall.

Keith so badly wanted to clasp Lance’s cheeks in his palms and rest their foreheads together and tell how much he cherished Lance. _I love you I love you I love you_.

I’ve always loved you.

I will _always_ love you.

He would softly kiss the entirety of his face, sweeping his fringe out of the way so he could reach skin so rarely seen. Featherlight, barely even making contact. Almost as if Lance was glass. But he wasn’t. Lance was so strong and Keith was immensely proud of him.

His shaking palms hurt him with the pressure of how hard he was clasping them together, and he knew he was cutting crescents into the palms of his hands from his bitten off and jagged nails.

Clenching his jaw, he saw Lance’s tears start to fall, “I’ve seen so many people meet their soulmates, I watch Hunk become a jittery mess if you only mention Shay’s name. And I really like Shay, she’s really sweet and those two deserve each other wholeheartedly but I see everyone loving each other. There is so much love around me. But none of it’s actually for _me_.” He sobbed, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes in an effort to stop the cascade of tears.

Keith sat motionless. If only Lance knew he was so, _so_ loved. His jaw had dropped slightly and he found his own eyes welling with tears. He didn’t know what to say.

“Lance I-”

And Lance was smiling at him. A huge grin that reached his eyes. It was fake. “This has been a nice dream, thank you.” His voice wavered and his shoulders were shaking.

Keith threw a hand up to stop him. “Lance!” But he had already vanished.

Suddenly, the crashing of the waves was too loud. The sun too bright. Keith could now hear Lance’s dizzying tinnitus even more keenly. Without Lance, the landscape had lost its appeal. Keith stood up and waved his hand, watching as the scene before him dissolved like a hazy smoke screen.

The heaviness of his wings came back, pulling Keith back into an upright position from his previous slump as he came back into his environment. Lance’s room. The familiar dark blue wall behind his bed, twinkling fairy lights, and glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to his ceiling. Home.

Taking his hands away from Lance’s temple, he instead placed a hand on his forehead. “Forget your dream. But please, never forget me.”

He removed his hand, and replaced it with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter last night, but didn't like it at all so I took it down to revise. Now, while not the best, I feel as tho i need to take a break from this chapter and come back to it in the future and reassess. But for now I'll just push through the block and move on till the time comes to reflect.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a thick skull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I'll be honest, I'm stressed out of my mind rn and have so many papers due so soon, that I'm probably going to update this fortnightly, plus shits going on with my dog thats really really upsetting, and I'm not really?? dealing with it?? well??? and its just... not good, so just while things are going a little bit... not where i want things to be, i'll be updating fortnightly not weekly!! Thanks for understanding guys I really appreciate it!!

Keith backed away from Lance’s slowly waking figure, trying to make his footsteps as silent as he could. Lance slapped his face lightly, squeezing his face in his hands, before wiping at his eyes, and moaned as he tried to push himself into a seated position. It took him three attempts. Lance Mclain, paragon of Sleeping Beauty.

Keith found himself holding a  breath he didn’t even need and clutched at his hands, waiting to see if Lance had any reaction at all to what had just happened. Lance let out another small groan and ran a hand back through his messy hair wearily, “Keith huh? What a weird name.”

Keith felt himself go ramrod straight, his name was  _ not  _ weird! It was a perfectly normal name! Lance was a weird name if anything! Who the hell names their kid after a goddamn jousting lance? Keith shuffled his wings indignantly and crossed his arms.

It was only too late that Keith noticed the book he had knocked off it’s precarious perch. He must have touched it when he was fluffing his wings.

Thrusting an arm to try catch it, he suddenly pulled back, having a thought. Lance still couldn’t see him, so what would he think if a book started suddenly floating?

The thick hardcover textbook slammed into the ground with a bang, and Lance whipped his eyes to the spot the incriminating book laying innocently on the floor.

Dragging himself to the side of the bed, he pushed himself upwards unsteadily, his muscles stiff from slumber. “I really need to clean that desk.” He spoke to what he thought was his empty room. Walking over to the desk in what looked like a semi-trance like state, Lance made his way over to pick up the fallen book.

Which was exactly where Keith was standing. He was so grateful that Lance couldn't see or touch him right now. His feet rooted themselves to the floor when he saw Lance coming directly in his direction, his face heating up and he felt his wings start to flutter slightly. When Lance bent down, his head was directly at Keith’s cr-

Don’t think about that. He can’t let himself think about that. But he still couldn’t move. His face was heating up, and if he looked in a mirror he could bet that his face, ears and neck  were crimson.

He wiped a cool hand harshly over his face, letting the temperature difference soothe him. He let his head hang back as he spied Lance through his fingertips place the book on an adjacent shelf and amble over to his walk-in closet.

Keith frowned gently,  his brow barely furrowed at all, and let his hand fall limply to his side. He felt himself regaining composure and coming back to his senses. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to be be doing now.

He kicked Lance’s school bag in aggression, sending it flying into the opposite wall, yelping as it did so, he didn’t mean to kick it that hard! It was meant to be just a tap of aggression not   a ‘send-something-into-orbit’ kick of aggression! Keith heard Lance’s high pitched scream and smirked, his anger and fright dissipating somewhat. He’d figure it out. They’d be fine. They had to be.

Lance scrambled out of the closet, a flurry of hands grasping and wild looks, with his head sticking out of one of the sleeves, and his pants pulled up to mid thigh. “ _ Mama _ !” He shrieked, “I think I heard a rat in the wall!  _ Mama we have  _ rats _! Mama!” _ He tripped and fumbled out of his room, spouting nonsense as he did so, and Keith heard a loud thump not too long after, followed by a low groan, and Keith had to suppress a slight chuckle.

Yes, he’d work things out.

* * *

 

It seemed, to Keith, that going into Lance’s dream for a second time was harder than the first. He knew it should have been easier to adjust, he’d already done it before! He took in a deep breath into no longer functioning lungs.

He could do it.

He could do it.

He shook his head, why was he even nervous? He has seen Lance shit himself, laugh out loud in the middle of church when he saw a funny meme on his phone. He has seen Lance vomit his guts after eating an amount of goddamn spring rolls that no human stomach can bear (it was over 100 -- Keith counted). He has seen Lance eat over one hundred spring rolls in the span of an hour.

So why was he nervous?

He looked at Lance’s smooth sleeping face, and with a new burst of courage, placed his fingertips on Lance’s temple.

For a moment, everything was a blinding white, before the beach scene Keith had created the previous night appeared like a projection. Lance wasn’t there yet, so Keith sat down under one of the palm trees, not fancying looking through the sun's glare. He shielded his wings only after he had sat himself down, feeling redness pool in his face at the memory of falling into Lance’s arms. Though Keith had no shame admitting that his arms were gorgeous and warm.

All thoughts of Lance’s arms dissipated when Keith saw Lance enter the space, and smiled gently at the boy as he tried to find his bearings.

All too soon Lance’s eyes locked onto his own, and both widened. “Hey! It’s you! The awkward boy from my dream last night!” Lance rushed through the sand to get to him, almost tripping over once or twice.

Awkward boy?

“Hello to you too.” Keith replied, his voice dry, and Lance’s grin was wide and bright as he plopped himself down beside him.

“So… did’ya miss me?” Lance nudged his shoulder, jostling the shorter boy until he pushed back slightly rougher.

“Oh yeah, of course,” Keith tried to say sarcastically, his arms crossed, but humour trickled through into his voice and he couldn't stop the grin from pooling on his face.

Lance was still smiling, true and bright, and the pair lapsed into a silence, Lance looking at the white-tipped waves, and Keith looking at Lance.

“Tell me something.”

Keith jolted, his reverie washed away just like the waves. “Huh? Like what?”

“Like... anything. Favourite colour, favourite piece of furniture.” Lance met Keith’s eyes mischievously, “I don’t know, amuse me.” He said it like it was the funniest secret in the world.

He felt one of his eyebrows raising, detecting a challenge, “Amuse you?”

“Amuse me,” Lance repeated in affirmation, nodding his head. “I wanna see how intricate my mind can make you seem.”

Ouch.

Keith’s shoulders slumped, and he felt his smile drop. He pulled his knees up to his chin, “Oh right,” He looked out at the waves and the scene in front of him, noticing it seemed duller than before. More monochromatic. The landscape was tied to his life-force, of course it reflected his emotions to some extent. “You just think I’m a figment of your imagination.”

Lance laughed loudly, “Yep!.” He noticed Lance’s eyes on his figure, and Keith lets a strand of hair block Lance from his periphery. “Although, you don’t seem too thrilled with that?”

Keith let out a sharp humourless laugh, “Well yeah, I’m not a dream.” He dug his chin into the space between his knees, seeking warmth and comfort.

Lance laughed again, and elbowed Keith again slightly, “You’re in my dream. I’m asleep right now. There’s nothing else that explains it.”

“Do you want me to be just a dream?” Keith surprised himself by talking, but found conviction in doing so. If Lance didn’t want him to be real, wanted him to remain just in his dreams, then Keith would do so. If the only communication the two shared was solely through Lance’s dreams, then Keith would honor that.

That aside, Keith really hoped that wasn’t the case. It hurt enough as it was for Lance to believe that he was only a figment of the boy’s imagination. Having to try, and failing every time; to prove one’s existence was mentally and emotionally draining that’s for sure.

Keith looked at Lance curiously from the corner of his eyes, finding Lance’s silence slightly disconcerting. “Are you okay?”

Lance jolted slightly,”Yeah,” He smiled weakly, before laying back and stretching himself out on the sand, and Keith was surprised to hear some of Lance’s joints cracking. He didn’t think it possible in his mindscape. “I...I just don’t know what I want anymore.”

Keith let his knees drop and turned so as to look at Lance, inky black bunches of his hair dropping into his vision, and Keith was glad none of them obstructed his view of the boy beside him. He was silent, hoping Lance would continue.

“I don’t know whether-” Lance cut himself off and his mouth shut with an audible clack of teeth. Keith blinked as Lance’s face suddenly came rushing toward his way too quickly.

Keith loved Lance’s face, but he definitely didn’t love Lance’s forehead colliding with his. The clunk of two skulls bashing together reverberated in his ears.

Groaning in pain, Keith cupped his head in his hands, “What. What. What was that Lance?” He ground out, annoyance bleeding into his voice thickly. His head was throbbing like there were tumultuous waves bashing against the inside of his skulls that were angry and harsh and were out for vengeance.

“I-I just,” Lance interrupted himself with a moan, rolling over to hang his head, and Keith began to worry if Lance was going to throw up. “You never got around to amusing me.” Came Lance’s weak voice.

Keith groaned in a mixture of unadulterated anger and annoyance, closing his eyes because everything was suddenly too bright. The pain was beginning to wane slightly, but not by much. God Lance had a thick skull.

“I don’t think that justifies fucking assault though Lance,” Keith moved to lay down gently, not wanting to rock his head around too much, could he still get concussions? Could Lance? Keith wondered how small the bridge was between dreams and reality. Lance’s back had cracked earlier, so would he have a headache in the morning.

Keith shook his head, of course not he was just being stupid. Oh God his head was still like jelly and shaking it just made it all the more painful.

Lance was on the ground beside him, “Fuck off Mullet,” He groaned, but Keith swore he detected a faint laugh in his voice.

Well maybe Keith did manage to amuse him after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for putting up with me!! Comment anything you want to tell me, what worked, what didn't, what's shit and what's good! I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU SO PLEASE!! 
> 
> Thanks guys and see you in a fortnight!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snapshots of Keith and Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> I'm so so sorry I've left this so long. And to come back with such a shitty chapter? I'm honestly ashamed of myself. It's pathetic and I shouldn't be trying to scrape some pity but here I am.
> 
> Life has been rough guys. I know this isn't an excuse, but... yeah.  
> I've been having a pretty rough time, with my dog and with juggling family, uni, diminishing friendships as well as a toxic group that i wont get into because i dont feel it right to talk about that here -- as well as other issues I really wont get into because honestly yall here for the fic not for me, and i like that dynamic.
> 
> But this lousy chapter really doesn't cut it, and I hope the next chapter is the longest of all the ones written so far.
> 
> once again, im sorry.

It became a habit after that,  him meeting Lance at the picturesque beach scene Keith had created. And everytime it had always been bright, sunny, with the warm breeze that fluttered through Keith’s hair. The salty sea always looking clear and welcoming. The sand soft yet crunchy under his palms.

Lance talked with his hands, creating grandiose gestures with his arms while being perfectly graceful with how he moved his fingers. It reminded Keith about when he had gone to Thailand when he was younger with his parents. He had been very young, and didn’t remember much at all. But the memory of watching a group of Thai women stuck in his mind, and in particular, the way they moved their hands to the music. It was beautiful.

Lance, was beautiful.

Keith tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear that had come loose with the wind, the soft hair tickling his cheek in an effort to dissuade the red from his cheek.

Lance was recounting a story of that day in Chemistry, how he had mixed up two things  _ he shouldn’t have _ and got himself detention for the next four school days. Keith was barely focused on what he had to say, having seen the event himself, and getting quite the laugh then and there. Keith was studying Lance, as creepy as it came across.

The pimple on Lance’s left cheek had gone down, but one on his opposite cheek was beginning to grow. He would hate it. Seems like Lance wasn’t immune to common teenage ailments. Keith had gotten pimples when he was alive, yet he didn’t have the patience to wait for them to heal like Lance, rather popping them and scratching them time and time again. So much so that he now had some small scarring on his forehead and just below his cheekbones. He didn’t care though, as even in life, who was he trying to impress? Besides, he could just cover it with hair if he so chose.

Keith bit his lip slightly and he tried to hold in a grin. Lance noticed Keith’s expression and began to wildly tried to swat at him, “It’s not funny!” He protested. He was right.

Pidge’s eyebrows were gone. It was  _ hilarious _ .

At the time Keith had worried about falling out of the air from laughing so hard. He had been so grateful that the humans couldn’t see him clutching his stomach to breathe in gasps of breath as he watched Pidge reluctantly shave off what was left of her eyebrows, if one could even call them that. Three and a half hairs did not count as eyebrows to  _ anyone _ .

Poor Hunk had to let Pidge borrow his headband as her fringe wasn’t long enough to hide her bare brow bone. Hunk, who also had a bad tan line from constantly wearing said headband.

Keith was honestly surprised he hadn’t shit his pants from laughter. It was so rare that he laughed that hard.

“I’m sorry it’s just-” And Keith was lost to chuckles once more.

Lance’s sharp finger snap jolted Keith out of his reverie, and Keith’s eyes blew wide as he zeroed in on Lance’s hand. Lance’s face was soft, he himself trying to keep his laughter under wraps.

They met each others eyes.

They lost it.

* * *

 

 

Some nights, Lance wasn’t so happy, instead favouring to just lay down and be with Keith, surrounded by the sound of the waves crashing against the sand, silence roaring just as loudly. He would get up, after a while, and walk into the ocean. Keith always remembered to make the temperature of the water warm when he sensed Lance was feeling down.

He would walk into the water until his hips were submerged, then he would disappear beneath the waves. Keith would follow him in, and wait for him to resurface, and when he would, they would both lie on their backs and let the waves rock them out to sea, only stopping when Lance had to wake up.

Keith would let the happy scene melt away, leaving himself surrounded by white wondering why he couldn’t make Lance happy.

* * *

 

“You know, I’ve been doing all the talking lately.” Lance told him one night, as they walked through the shallows of the water.

Keith shot him a dry look, “And?” He kicked a spray of water ahead of him, and watched as the droplets fell back into the water

Lance lolled his head to meet his eyes, alight with curiosity, “And,” He dragged the word, “I want you to tell me something!” He walked ahead only to turn around, walking backwards, keeping direct eye contact all the while.

Keith huffed, a small smile working its way onto his features, “Like what?”

“I don’t know, anything!”

Sure, Keith had plenty of stories to share, when the world was different, and Keith’s heart beat hard and fast. But that was then, and now was now. Keith didn’t want to share his stories with Lance thought they were just part of a dream his brain had concocted. He wanted Lance to know his stories were real. That he was real.

“Anything? I don’t know, I don’t have any good stories.”

Lance snorted ungracefully, “Please, my brain is more creative than that, of course you’ve got stories.”

Keith inwardly smiled, Lance still thought Keith’s mind was his? So be it.

“Well,” Keith rested a hand under his chin. “When I was young. Real young, I used to play with play doh, and one time, my Mum made me a little play doh burger, but it looked so real that I thought, ‘oh yeah it must be lunch time!’ - and just ate the entire play doh burger. My Mum was horrified, she took me to hospital and forbade me from ever touching it again after that.”

Lance had been five. He had received the play doh set from a family member for his birthday and Keith was pretty sure the word ‘play doh’ was still considered a taboo in their household.

Looking at Lance, he wasn’t laughing. His face was screwed up in absolute disgust, nose adorably crinkled and mouth less adorably down-turned. “You Monster.” He whispered.

Keith threw his head back as he laughed, and kicked the water again, sending the spray directly into Lance’s screwed face.

The younger boy squawked, and with a massive grin, tackled Keith into the water, their laughter loud and free.

* * *

 

Lance was in a joking mood today. Joking, but frustrated. His words were laced with venom, little barbs that Lance didn’t know that Keith felt that stung keenly. 

“You know, I should just go to a psych already.” Lance’s voice cut into the silence. The first words he had spoken all night. Keith looked at Lance, not wanting to say anything that would give Lance a chance to unknowingly attack him with. Although, at the same time, Keith didn’t want to show Lance that what he said hurt. Lance, unlike Keith, couldn’t tell his soulmates real smile from his fake.

Lance met his eyes, and continued to talk, “I mean, having a recurring dream for three months straight? That’s pretty creepy you know.” He had a slightly twisted, wicked smile on his lips. Keith hated it. It wasn’t right. That smile wasn’t meant for his Lance’s face. His face, that was normally so bright and beautiful was too pure for the smile that lay flat that it now showed.

Keith grit his teeth, “I’ve told you-”

Lance cut him off with a sharp, condescending laugh, “Yeah yeah buddy you’re not a dream. Totally real. For sure,” He drawled.

Keith felt his temper begin to fray, and his eyebrows furrowed, “Your sarcasm is A, unwanted,” He bit out, throwing up his index finger, closely followed by his middle finger, “And B, completely unnecessary.”

Lance rolled over to rest on his forearms, unfazed by Keith’s change of tone, “Until you can prove to me,” Lance raised his eyebrows to emphasise his words, “With solid proof, to me that you’re real, you are nothing more to me than a recurring dream.” Keith felt each of his soulmates words hit him straight in the heart, and Keith had to grit his teeth to stop unwanted tears building up. There was only so much Keith could hear with a smile on his face.

“Angels aren’t goddamn real Keith.” Keith swallowed thickly, and he dug behind his ears to let his hair fall into his face, keeping his face from Lance’s view.

“Well can I leave if you’re going to be like this?” This would be the first time Keith would dissolve the dreamscape before Lance woke. He stood up jerkily, and his bad knee locked for a second.

Lance reached up from his place reclined on the sand. In their spot, “Keith. Buddy. Pal, don’t leave. You’re chill.”

Chill? Chill? “Chill for a dream, you mean?” Did that even make sense? Keith didn’t think so, but his mind was a muddle, hazy and foggy.

“Yeah man, chill for a dream.” Lance smiled softly.

Keith folded, letting the surroundings fall around him. Keith never got to see Lance’s reaction. He was already gone.

He didn't’ visit Lance’s dreams for the next three nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fanart would be lovely, but Im not going to force anyone as I for one, cannot draw a goddamn thing. I havent recieved fanart for any of my pieces yet, but i dont think any of them have been long enough for it? 
> 
> Anyway! As always comment what you liked, what you hated, and any else you'd like to say! I love hearing from you! It always brings a smile to my face without fail!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance, Pidge and Hunk have a picnic.
> 
> Matt and Keith get to talking in the meantime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back.
> 
> Although I did say that I was posting fortnightly, I've had a few slip ups and things havent always gone the way I want them to have gone, which leads up to a Thursday night at 11:11 (make a wish!!)
> 
> I hope this chapter is a good addition to the story, and it has given me a lot more angles for where I actually want to take this fic.
> 
> I know it kinda feels like Keith's ooc, but we're only at the start kiddos, hes still the prince gazing at Rapunzel from afar!!
> 
> ALSO! About Keith's hair, I've mentioned his mullet, but idk if I should make his chop it or leave it, because I have ideas regardless of the choice made. Its all about that character dev people!!
> 
> But anyway, chuck me a kudos or a comment below, I'd adore to hear from you!!

Keith’s perch was unexpectedly comfortable, and he snuggled into the trunk of the tree he was sitting in. Matt sat on a slightly higher branch, swinging his legs back and forth slowly, gazing longingly to the scene below him. The wind blew through the leaves, a soft, gentle breeze that filled him with content. It was a warmer day, the first in a while.

Keith looked up at the sky, through the light green leaves that the sun shone through. The patterns casting lovely shadows that danced as the wind did. The sky was clear and seemed bluer today than the last time Keith remembered it being, bringing warmth that Keith so desperately desired. As much as he loved the rain and preferred the cold, a clear beautiful day like today raised his spirits. 

Below the two angels, was a picnic. The three friends had decided to celebrate a break in the rain spell to get out and tan, in Lance and Hunk’s case, and to burn in Pidge’s. The poor girl would burn even when slathered with SPF 75+.

The three seemed to be having a lot of fun. Pidge had connected her phone to Hunk’s speaker and was playing what seemed to be everything at the same time, never listening to a song for longer than ten seconds. Hunk and Lance tried to fight her for her phone, to choose a song to listen to in its entirety, but Pidge fought dirty and came out victorious.

Some of the songs she played Keith even knew, and found himself humming along to tunes like he had done when he was alive. It was nostalgic, and it made Keith appreciate simple joys. Of course, a lot of the songs that Keith knew growing up were now considered ‘retro’ or ‘classics, or even ‘vintage’. Keith didn’t know how to feel about that.

Earlier, Matt had tried to hum to one of the songs he knew, but was so bad and so off that Keith almost accidentally knocked him off his branch with one flick of his wing.

Matt and Keith had seen a lot of each other other the past years, with Shiro taking the role of an adopted Father/ older brother to Keith, and Matt as his soulmate, but then with Matt as Hunk’s Guardian they had began to get to know each other quite well. The Guardian of the third member of their party was certainly an eccentric angel, who went by the name Coran.

Coran had a habit of flitting off, doing favours for other angels and other tasks, so while he was around, when the three of their humans met up, he entrusted Pidge into Keith and Matt’s care.

The conversation between the three humans below seemed deep, with all three teens hunched in toward each other somewhat, and a flurry of hand gestures and crazy expressions and language spoken too fast for Keith to grasp. Every now again they would explode into laughter, laughter that was so infectious it reached even the angels and the park-goers around them.

“So,” Matt said, looking up from the humans beneath them, pulling his legs up to cross them on the branch where he sat, using his wings for balance, “He still thinks you're a dream?” His voice was soft, almost as if not to disturb the teens below them, despite them both knowing they wouldn’t be able to hear a whisper even if they wanted to.

Keith’s small smile disappeared as he shifted his gaze from the trees canopy to Matt. He hummed in reply as he fiddled with his hands in his lap, pulling at his fingers and pushing at his joints. “I’ve only ever appeared in his dreams, so it isn’t exactly unwarranted, but…” Keith trailed off, not knowing how to put all the bubbling emotions inside of him into words.

“You want him to know you’re real?”

Keith leaned forward, pushing his legs off the branch to let them dangle and he turned his full body in Matt’s direction. His wings dragged along the bark, sending small sharp pains into his wings, splinters for sure.

“Of course I do! I’m useless just watching!” Keith swallowed thickly. “I’m making things worse by meeting with him in his dreams. He thinks he’s lost his mind, but I think I’ve lost mine for thinking this could actually work.”

Matt made a small noise, before he smirked, “What if you weren’t a dream?”

Keith’s eyes widened and his brow furrowed, “I take back what I’ve said. You’re obviously the one whose gone mad.”

The older angel shrugged, “Just a thought,” He said lightly, “Would fix all your problems that's for sure.”

“How? Lance would freak out and never want to see me again, and when he dies what do I do then? When he dies he’ll be drawn to me because of this stupid mark,” Keith grumbled, harshly thumbing at his soulmark, pressing on the area roughly, and making it red and sore in the process. With any luck it’ll bruise and Keith wouldn’t have to look at it for a few days.

Matt sighed, his shoulders releasing tension as they dropped, “Keith,” he said softly, serious this time, all traces of humour gone. “Maybe it’s the right time to see him, Lance would finally get closure, knowing that he has a soulmate who cherishes him and is always there for him, and you get to talk to him as equals, with no secrets. You’re not good with secrets, you get all...clammy.”

“I do not get clammy!”

“You really do, I don’t even know how to properly explain it other than-” Next second Matt was just wiggling his outstretched fingers in what Keith thought was a lame excuse for jazz hands.

He raised an eyebrow, his voice dry, “What is that even meant to mean?”

Matt just kept on wiggling his fingers and shrugged again, “It means this! I said I didn’t know how to explain it!”

“Unbelievable,” Keith muttered, and turned his attention back to the scene below him, his inner turmoil only increased. He didn’t know what to do, what was he meant to do now? Visit Lance and maybe send the poor human to a mental hospital if he reacted badly, or if he reacted well, what then? You couldn’t exactly have a romance between angel and a human, as much as Keith would love to. He had to stand by his morals. He was dead, he had no place being in a relationship with a human. A living, breathing human. Did that count as necrophilia? Keith shuddered at the thought. Maybe if things had been different, if Keith had been born a good two decades later, maybe they could have had the fairy-tale romance.

Keith scowled, no use focusing on the ‘maybe’s when this was the reality. Keith was dead. Lance was alive. If Keith went down and went ‘ta da! I’m your Guardian angel! Also, I’m your soulmate!” What would be the desired outcome? Lance to fall in love with him as well, then not be able to be together until Lance himself died? He was eighteen years old! If Keith had any control over it, Lance wouldn’t be dying for many decades yet.

Showing himself to Lance was an all around bad idea. If Lance fell in love with him at eighteen, he’d live his life in a worse condition than he already was. Having a soulmate, but not being able to be with them, to live the rest of his life with his soulmate just out of his reach. To live his life how Keith was now.

Keith wouldn’t wish that on anyone. “Matt,” He said, pulling a leg up to rest his foot on the branch, before resting his chin on his knee. He heard Matt hum, signifying he heard the younger angel, “I’m not doing that. I don’t want to ruin this.”

“This?”

“Whatever...Whatever it is we have.” He burrowed himself further into his knee, letting his hair fall into his periphery, and muffling his voice. “Even if Lance thinks I’m a figment of his imagination… It’s… It’s better than the alternative.”

Matt sighed, “I wish this was easier for you. I’ve been on Lance’s side of things before, and couldn’t imagine the pain this would have caused Shiro.” He huffed softly, “I’m so lucky he was never my Guardian.”

Keith looked up at Matt, thinking about how things played out with the both of them. Keith was older than Matt, technically, but Matt had died after Keith, a year or so before he became Lance’s Guardian. Regardless of how their time lines differed, Matt looked older, having died in his twenties, rather the Keith who had yet to make it to twenty. And although Keith could mentally be considered a lot older than twenty, Keith had always addressed Matt in his mind as older.

Keith grimaced, not really knowing how to reply, instead plucking a leaf from a small branch jutting out just to his left. Matt lapsed into silence, and finally the conversation taking place below them wafted up like a nicely scented perfume.

“What do you guys think about recurring dreams?” Was the first coherent sentence that reached Keith’s ears, and he found himself uncurling and leaning down slightly to listen, as if leaning down was going to make a conversation happening five metres beneath them any more audible.

“Lance,” Came Pidge’s deadpan, “Do I look like a voodoo lady?”

“Uh, I think you mean psychic?” Came Hunk’s passive tone next, before reaching into the middle to retrieve a strawberry before munching happily.

“That’s what I said,” Pidge rebutted quickly, before slowing herself down, “It depends on the dream I would think.”

Keith watched Lance look to the side, deep in thought, “Well, it’s just of this cute guy, a couple dream about being on the beach, you know, usual stuff.”

Pidge and Hunk both leaned forward, wearing matching shit-eating grins. But Keith, Keith had a hand over his face to hide the blush that had spread all over his face and down his neck.

Lance thought he was cute? Keith faintly registered the fact that Matt was now roaring with laughter from his perch at Keith’s reaction, but Keith was awestruck.

No one had ever called him cute before. A delinquent like him, with torn up fingers, a standoffish attitude and insecurities for days? Keith had expected words like ‘intimidating’, ‘angry’ or ‘rude’ but never ever had he thought the term cute could ever apply to him.

Doubt lingered in the back of his mind. Lance barely knew Keith, what if he just liked him for who he seemed to be in Lance’s dream? What if one day Keith got well and truly pissed off, got angry, yelled, bore the parts of him that were truly hideous. Truly monstrous. Would cute cut it then?

Keith didn’t even want to think about that possibility, trying to lock those thoughts in a box and kick it into the deep trenches of his mind.

“Cute guy ay? Does this guy have a name?” Pidge asked, still wearing that same smirk. She popped a grape into her mouth as she waited for a reply.

“Keith,” Lance stated simply, “His name is Keith.”

Several things happened at once, first of all, Matt jumped down from his perch to cling to the same branch Keith was on, and clapped him on the back, “Well at least you made a lasting impression!” He said with glee.

Keith couldn’t even find it within him to say anything as he watched Pidge start to laugh, then choke on the grape probably lodged in her throat. Hunk and Lance jumped to help her, thumping her on the back with as much intensity as her brother was thumping Keith’s.

“Sorry,” Pidge coughed, her voice strained, “But cute and the name ‘Keith’ don’t really fit in the same sentence.”

Keith opened his mouth to yell a rebuttal. What was wrong with his name? It was a perfectly fine one? But stopped, whatever noise he made wouldn’t be heard, so he settled instead for jutting out his lower lip and hoped he didn’t look like a five year old who got denied a biscuit.

To his embarrassment, Lance just laughed, “That’s what I thought! He has a mullet too!”

Pidge broke out into another peal of laughter, gathering the attention of some park-goers around them, Hunk joining in too. Thankfully the girl was grape-less this time though.

“Lance… Lance” Pidge’s voice was breathy as she spoke through laughter, “I...I didn’t know you had a...a...a mullet kink!” Before dissolving even further into giggles, clinging onto a laughing Hunk for stability.

Although Keith could not say he was happy with being made fun of in the slightest. It wasn’t like he could even defend himself! And it wasn’t even a mullet, Keith just -

“-Has a wide fringe!” Lance protested, a bright grin still covering his features.

Keith raised his hand to the back of his head, feeling the length of his hair self-consciously, was it really a mullet? Did it look horrible? The only reason the back was longer than the front was because he couldn’t aim very well when he cut his hair, and didn’t want to bother anyone to ask them to cut it for him. Though that might have to change in the near future, everyone he knew had said something about it. Shiro and Matt when he first met them, and now the three humans below him all laughed. Change was good… right?

He ran his fingers through it one last time before checking his lap. Good, he still had some left. He had snagged a clump of grapes from Lance’s house before he left. And while angels didn’t need to eat, it was still a fun thing to do every now and then.

Keith plucked a grape from the stem, rolling it around in his palm before letting it settle squarely between his thumb, index and middle fingers. He raised his arm slightly before snapping his wrist, sending the grape flying as hard as he could downward.

Keith’s aim was true, as the grape met its target directly, Pidge’s forehead. The girl recoiled with a yelp as it struck dead centre, raising a hand to quickly clasp the area. Keith couldn’t help but grin with a wicked sense of satisfaction. Talk shit, get hit.

“What the  _ fuck  _ was that?!” She cried. Keith spied Lance looking at the innocent grape as it finally came to a stop near their drink bottles, a gaping split down the side from impact.

Lance flicked his eyes up and crowed a laugh, a cheesy grin on his face, “That’s Karma bitch.”

Pidge stuck her tongue out petulantly, but Lance didn’t notice, he was too busy looking at the grape before joining back into wherever the conversation had gone in the short time he’s been distracted.

Matt hooted a laugh as he watched the entire scene, “God I love my sister.” He let out a final laugh as he sat himself down on the branch next to Keith, causing it to wobble slightly under their combined weight.

Keith rolled his eyes and leaned back slightly, his wings coming to rest on the trunk of the tree, “Isn’t there some shit about blaspheming? And your sister is a fucking menace.”

“I wouldn’t know I don’t believe in religion,” Matt shrugged.  _ Well that makes two of us _ , mused Keith darkly. He was broken out of his reverie by Matt tapping his shoulder, “And damn right she’s a menace.”

“What, you teach her everything you knew or something?”

“Oi piss off smarty-pants,” Came the wisecracking response from the sparrow, his eyes firmly trained on the group below, still wearing a dopey smile.

The two of them slipped into silence, neither seeming to know what to say to keep the conversation alive, both more content to sit and watch the scene below them.

But after a while, Matt spoke up, his voice was soft and sincere, all joking aside, “Keith, what do you want from Lance?”

Keith stood abruptly, resting a hand on the thick trunk of the tree and looked to the sky with a small smile and a heavy heart, feeling the scattered sunlight on his face, “I want love, but I have no idea how to get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know me guys, tell me what you liked, what you hated and where I can improve! Im constantly hungry for constructive criticism so I can improve my writing!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which brothers are simultaneously the best and worst thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? Another chapter? Hello again AO3 its your lovable shit Ribble!!
> 
> Ik ik I've been away for ages and I'm really sorry about that. I've had exams and more exams and assignments and ughhh its been so hectic I just havent had time to write. That's also why this chapter is slightly shorter. I started writing this chapter about .03 seconds after posting my last one, and have been adding to it any time I could since then to today! (frankly im so sick of this chapter I just had to get it out there so i could get to the good shit that im excited as all hell to write!! So please bare with me!! <3
> 
> BUT! It's now Summer break and I can write a lot more now!! So hopefully I can post more (and longer) chapters!!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me! I really appreciate you!

Keith was torn. He sat on Lance’s roof, feeling the sun beat down and the heat absorb into his black wings, chasing away any vestige of cold he may have felt. He shivered at the temperature difference, extending his neck in a small stretch and cracked his knuckles, deep in thought.

He was being weighed down by a problem that frankly, he was completely tired of dealing with. Keith had lost track of how exhausting it was mulling over the same issue day after day. He had fallen into a rut without even realising it. And over the same old problem: Should he just show himself to his Soulmate and act on the inevitable consequences when they arise? Or should he wait until something took the decision out of his hands?

He groaned in a mixture of frustration and anger, and let his hands drop into his hands. He knew the reason he was hesitating, why he just couldn’t let this go.

He was scared.

Sure he was scared about how it would affect both how Lance saw him and what it would mean for the bond between them, but also of what would happen to him.

He had already been punished once. And despite his reckless and rash decision making skills, he wasn’t all too happy at jumping for a second punishment so soon. He didn’t want to make the wrong choice, not with something as important as this. Keith was rash and impulsive, but he was far from stupid.

Or, at least that’s what he liked to think of himself.

He screamed then, letting the sound carry into the air, startling a few fellow crows from their perches on the nearby power lines. The sound raw and anguished, conveying all his inner turmoil in a sound that hurt his throat, the pain welcome and slightly desired. His fists were clenched, his previous emotions turning to white hot fury. Why did he do this to himself? Why couldn’t just choose what to do already? He was his own person! He had his own mind!  _ Think! _

Keith hung his head as he heard footsteps on the roof tiles behind him, clenching his teeth he turned his head. Shiro had come to him. He was really starting to get sick of these discussions with the older angel. They made him feel weak and ashamed that he couldn’t even sort himself out.

Shiro slid next to Keith’s place on the roof, the soft thump and grunt of Shiro’s weight hitting the hard roof.

Shiro’s slight chuckle was forced, “You’ve wound yourself in knots, I haven’t seen you this… upset... in years.”

Keith was silent, eyes trained straight forward, jaw clenched in order to forcefully keep himself from replying.

Shiro’s voice grew soft with concern, “How are you Keith?”

At Shiro’s tone, Keith’s resolved snapped. “I’m dead, if that counts for something.” He finally said, his voice slightly scratchy from emotion, but somehow his tone was still dry.  He felt Shiro look in his direction before feeling the older Angels gaze reading him like a open book.

Keith finally moved in Shiro’s direction, and that simple movement released waves of emotion, his shoulders drooped and he closed his eyes to avoid tears of frustration spilling over.

He was  _ so _ sick of this. Feeling weak, relying too heavily on Shiro. He hated this. He met Shiro’s gaze head on, his vision still slightly blurry from not wearing his glasses. He had lost them… somewhere, sometime ago, he couldn’t quite remember, and mentally made a note to try find them. Frankly he didn’t understand his new plane of existence and honestly couldn’t be bothered learning about it.

It didn’t matter where his glasses were, they could wait forever if they had to.

Keith didn’t  make any motion to blink, keeping his chin up and eyes threatening to leak, in an effort to keep whatever was left of his pride before asking bluntly, “What would you do?”

Shiro deflated slightly, understanding exactly what Keith meant, and seemed to sink into himself, plunging the pair  into silence, with not even the sound of shuffling feathers to detract from the seemingly solid silence. He still didn’t answer, despite opening his mouth to answer and then closing it multiple times.

Keith huffed sarcastically, “Well that doesn’t help whatsoever.” He pulled his right leg onto the roof and felt the warm tiles radiating into his skin. He pulled his foot closer to hs body and his hip joint gave a resounding and awkward crack. Normally the pair would have made a silly joke, a dry and sarcastic,  _ ‘did you hear that?’  _ But there was no room for that now, the air was too tense for jokes. “Aren’t there laws or some shit?” Keith’s tone was far more aggressive than he’d like it to be. He shouldn’t be taking out his frustrations on Shiro, who had dont  _ nothing _ but help him. But he couldn’t help it.

Keith was only a relatively new angel, yet to live his first century. However, Shiro had been a Japanese Samurai during his life, and Keith was slightly afraid of asking Shiro how old he was for fear of his answer. Keith himself was barely pushing forty, which made him feel like this crisis could be considered his ‘mid-life crisis’. In Keith’s humble opinion, being at least one hundred years old was cool, being older than most people alive. Keith however, was the same age of Lance’s Aunt - after all, they did attend school together, which was really weird to think about, and awkward for Keith when family gatherings were held, and he saw the same girl that threw a ruler at him when they were in eleventh grade (that had scarred and never gone away) now grown up into a woman with a husband and two kids and heavily pregnant with a third and fourth. Everyone Keith knew when he was alive  _ were still alive _ , with families of their own, and had grown up to live brilliantly vibrant lives, but Keith? Keith was the forty year old angel.

Keith sighed before looking off to his other side, when Shiro started to talk. “You know, there used to be There used to be a council of Archangels, used to be laws, guidelines, and they were pretty strict, when I first became an angel.” He exhaled out through his nose in a semblance of a laugh before continuing.

“The Archangels still exist of course, and do punish the rare angel on occasion, though you already know that part well.” Keith frowned bitterly as Shiro talked, “ But the council and laws have become… vestigial? Humanity has grown more and more nihilistic, and since hell doesn’t exist, no one really knows the old punishments for things anymore.” Shiro shrugged, and he was right. There was no hell, only reincarnation, or becoming a Angel if you so wished to, although an Angel was free to reincarnate anytime so long as they aren’t a Guardian to a human at that point in time. So it was just a matter of going around the roundabout as many times as you wanted. There was no end.  

Besides, from what Keith had gathered, Angels could be extremely arrogant, often of the thought pattern that they were better and far superior  than the old humanity they left behind just because they had wings and had escaped the mortal coil. So for an Angel to lower themselves to the point to which they could be viewed by a mere human was seen as the ultimate taboo. Of course, not all angels shared this view, most of them Guardians.

“Have you ever showed yourself to a human?”

Shiro snorted, “Only dead ones.” Keith rolled his eyes at the lame excuse of a joke.

The two lapsed into silence again, before feeling Shiro’s heavy wing around his back, he was sitting on the side of Shiro that was armless, so wings were the next best thing.

Keith’s thoughts ran a million miles per second, playing out every possibility that he could think of, before finally settling on one. He licked his lips and spoke quietly. “I don’t think I’m going to hide anymore.”

Shiro’s wing tensed and he heard a slightly gasp from the older Angel. “But,” Keith smiled softly, “I’m not going to tell him. He’s smart. He can figure it out.” Keith was sure of that. As long as he had part of the puzzle, Lance could fill in the missing pieces. That way he could fill the gaps at his own pace, but even on the almost minute chance that Lance doesn’t figure it out, Keith didn’t have to actively hide himself away anymore.

Keith feels the others wing slide off his back, and his eyes widen as he tried to catch the others gaze. Did Shiro not think it a good idea? Was Keith going to get himself in trouble again? Keith was instantly alert, warning messages blearing in his mind. Instead Shiro turned himself fully in Keith’s direction and placed his hand on Keith’s cheek, the latter tensing slightly, unsure of how to react to the contact. He searched Shiro’s face, but all he read was sadness.

“I wish I had done that. Maybe things would have ended differently.” Shiro’s voice was soft and remorseful, his eyes mournful.

Keith smiled and he let the tension escape his body, sinking into the contact with a gentle smile, “Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t change. And besides,” Keith pulled himself away from Shiro’s hand and smiled wider, “ I’m glad I can call you my friend.”

Shiro closes his eyes for a second and snorts before opening them again, “I know way too much about you to consider you a friend. Brothers?”

Keith’s eyes widen in mortification at Shiro’s implications, but recovered quickly and shook his head before repeating, “Brothers.” He said with a grin and set out to do what he should have done ages ago, and he wasn't going to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for either reading this, or coming back to it. I absolutely love the fact that people are reading the stuff that I write, and warms my heart at the chance that someone actually enjoys it!! 
> 
> So let me know! Scream at me in the comments, what you liked, and and any constructive comments as well! Im always looking to improve!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Keith does the classic 'disney-prince-looks-dreamily-at-his-princess-while-she-looks-at-something-else' thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> Can you actually believe I'm trying to update weekly now? I'm gonna try my hardest to stick to a semblance of routine! I feel like you guys put up with my and my shenanigans, and feel it's only fair that you know... i update kinda regularly.
> 
> Also have you guys seen the new trailer? For something so short it was so i n t e n s e! I'm kinda shook yall.

Keith chewed on an already bitten raw nail, feeling an awful sense of deja vu wash over him like a tumultuous wave. He sat on the end of Lance’s bed, one leg pulled up onto the doona. It was midnight and peaceful, the quiet of the night soothing Keith slightly, although he had to say he was surprised to see his cute little soulmate was already asleep and snoring lightly. Normally Lance wouldn’t even be thinking of sleep at midnight.

Lance was curled up, knees curled up and hands in weak fists, almost covering his face. He had his headphones on, which Keith thought looked mighty uncomfortable but was a habit he couldn't see Lance shaking any time soon. The soft sounds of music audible to Keith, soft piano and elegant violins. He worried about Lance’s hearing some days, it wasn’t perfect even now, but Keith constantly had to remind himself that he had better hearing that humans, and just because he could hear Lance’s music loud and clear didn’t mean that it was loud for Lance himself.

Lance was also in the habit of sleeping with three pillows, which honestly Keith thought was absolutely ridiculous. Why would anyone need more than one pillow? Keith shook his head fondly and turned his attention to the sleeping boy.

It felt weird, going back to Lance’s dreams with the intention of making contact. For an experience he had longed for for years, for it to feel weird despite being so new already was slightly worrying, but Keith just wanted to label his feelings as nervousness, before being happy to never approach the topic again.

The worst thing was, it had only been a week of separation. He hadn’t spoken to Lance for a week and it impacted Keith as much as it had? To cause this much inner turmoil? It was a mind boggling train of thought for the young Angel, who had been so closed off in life, where he had never felt the effects of love this strongly, or had let anyone make him  _ feel  _ this much.

His soulmate was right there. He could reach out and touch him if he so desired. Of course, he wouldn’t, that would be weird, but the option was always open to him. Lance would only feel a slight cool tingling sensation where Keith would touch him.

Of course, just because Keith hadn’t actually spoken to Lance in his dreams for the past week, didn’t mean Lance wasn’t dreaming at all. No,  Keith had given Lance joyful dreams to distract him from Keith’s lack of presence, that is, if he even noticed at all. He gave Lance dreams of carnivals, colourful dreams, and in particular, dreams in which Lance was a mermaid was quite a hit with the water loving boy. Dreams where he fought aliens. Keith had tried extra hard to make up for his own cowardice by trying his hardest to make Lance happy every time his head hit the pillows and he closed his eyes.

Taking one last bite of his nail, he wiped his hand on himself before moving forward to place his hands on Lance’s temples. If he was going to kick start this little plan of his, it was now or never.

He took a breath and was surrounded by white. Focusing, he created a lush grassland that stretched as far as the eye could comprehend, the shapes of it almost looking like green ocean waves, rolling and elegant. It was nighttime, the sky above him twinkling with the light of stars that only existed in Keith’s mind. He had always loved laying on the roof of his childhood home just staring in awe of the wide, hungry expanse above him. He wanted to show and recreate that same exquisite beauty that could take away your breath ten times over and you’d still be unable to tear your eyes away. In comparison to the colour of the sky and the myriad of stars, the moon, while being bright and full, almost seemed like an afterthought, although this was not the case. Keith loved the moon, and had been fascinated with it when he was a little boy.

He sat down, admiring his own work with a slight grin, his eyes stuck on the beauty of his own sky. Not too shabby.  Keith absentmindedly started to preen his feathers, the soft down comforting and welcome against his worn fingers. He inwardly debated hiding them from Lance’s view, but shook his head. He would leave them, suddenly grateful that the night sky setting made it hard to see the huge black crow wings, his nerves getting the best of him.

Sure Keith wanted Lance to know who he was,  _ what _ he was, but he wasn’t just going to jump into the deep end by doing a jig at the end of his bed and yell ‘ta-daa!’ with a shitty attempt at jazz hands.

He would ease into it slowly. He couldn’t afford to mess this up. He only had one chance.

He laid back and adjusted himself till he was comfortable, and waited for Lance to fall deep enough into slumber to appear.

After who knows how long and multiple readjustments later, Keith sat up with a huff. The ground wasn’t comfortable at all. He pouted slightly as he manifested a couple big pillows and rug to lay on. He settled himself back on the pillows and rug with an agitated sigh. When was Lance going to come? He dragged a hand over his eyes in frustration.

“You know,” Came a light voice from somewhere in front of him, “This kinda feels a little like a date.”

Keith’s eyes instantly shot to Lance’s quickly approaching figure and struggled to keep his grin contained, feeling bubbles and butterflies and who knows what else dance in his chest. He looked beautiful, even though nothing had changed in a week.

“You wish,” Keith tried to sass, but picked up on how deep he was making his voice in an attempt to keep his cool. Lance’s eyebrows narrowed minutely, but released a second later, humming in response.

The younger plonked himself down on the rug, looking up at the sky, his eyes wide. He reached up with both hands outstretched, almost like an attempt to grab the sky. This is the reaction Keith had wanted. Lance looked completely enamoured with the sky, and Keith was completely enamoured by Lance. Keith watched with a soft grin as Lance marveled at the sky, a beautiful smile gracing his features and wide deep blue eyes.

Lance was utterly perfect. And Keith knew because he didn’t deserve him, he had to protect him.

“This is beautiful,” Lance whispered, his voice barely audible. His voice was airy, trying to talk despite being so obviously happy.

Keith turned his attention to the sky alongside Lance, “I’m glad you like it.” he replied, trying to keep his voice soft, afraid that if he spoke any louder he would be ruining whatever they were sharing at that moment.

Lance didn’t reply straight away, letting his hands fall onto his stomach with a slight thump. Keith tore his eyes from the sky to look back at Lance, choosing to look at the more beautiful of the choices in his eyes.

“What made you come back?” Lance’s voice was still soft, but louder than a whisper. He hadn’t looked away from the sky.

“I thought you said I was just a dream?”

Lance shrugged slightly, “Well yeah, but aren’t dreams your subconscious tryin’ to tell you something?”

Keith hummed, his tone nonchalant, “Okay then. Maybe I’m trying to tell you to stop lying to yourself.”

Lance ripped his eyes from the sky and shot up into a seated position, the fist that wasn’t supporting himself clenched into a fist. “I’m not. What is there to lie about?”

Keith moved a hand under his shaking head, nevermind. That was a tougher nut to crack. He took a breath, and watched as Lance slowly lost tension when he realised Keith wasn’t going to retaliate. “How was your day?”

He watched as Lance let a smile slide into place, “It was good, I had heaps of fun. Did you know I gave my number to this super hot guy after school today?” His tone was mocking, and Keith’s eyebrows furrowed at the blatant lie.

Lance had had a terrible day at school. Both Pidge and Hunk had caught a bug that was currently going around, he had failed a physics test because he had the same bug and had missed the topic almost in full, and hadn’t been able to catch up on the material quick enough in time for the test, and the only reason he gave his number to anyone was at the shops to sign up for supermarket discount program. He had watched Lance cry onto his school books because he had assessments coming out of his ears and exams a hair's breadth away. Lance had cried himself to sleep at his desk, and all Keith could do was carry him to bed and tuck him in for the night.

Though Keith had to agree with Lance about one thing, the guy that took Lance’s number wasn’t half bad, not Keith’s type, but not bad looking at all.

Letting his face fall back into neutrality, Keith decided to give up on confronting Lance about the reality of his day, instead giving out a small chuckle at his soulmates theatrical antics.

He didn’t really know why he chose to speak, let alone talk about himself, but it felt like his mouth opened on its own and spewed forth words of its own volition. He couldn’t stop once he started.

“I was never liked in school, and I hated being there. I would ditch, run truant, not try as hard as I should have. I gave every single excuse I could to not go, but I graduated.” He looked as Lance lowered himself back onto the cushions, a curious look on his face as he looked back up to the sky. “I got into university somehow, just because there was no other way to get out that goddamned town.” Keith let out a sharp chuckle as he adjusted himself, making more room for his wings, “I can’t even remember what I applied for.”

Lance didn’t respond, nor did his facial expression change, so Keith kept talking, “I was always fond of motorbikes, so, I dunno, maybe I was going to do a tech degree, maybe engineering. Hell, at this point I could have done teaching, but I wouldn’t have made a good teacher.”

Keith noticed Lance’s attention turn to Keith and struggled once again to keep a smile off his features.

“I’ve mellowed out though. At least, I think anyway. I’m a lot more level headed and calmer than I used to be,” He adjusted his wings and cracked his knuckles again, a nervous habit he had developed after years of introversion. “I used to be angry, reckless, impulsive, out of control at times.” It hurt to admit this fact about himself so early on, but he had to get Lance’s trust somehow, let him know that Keith was human,  _ was _ human, and understood what he was going through, loneliness, failure, disappointment. Keith had felt it all keenly during his life, and felt it even now alongside Lance. Lance’s happiness was his, ever victory, every frustration, every disappointment.

And while talking about his life hurt and embarrassed him, it was still his past, and Lance would have found out one day, and Keith would much rather it be from him first hand in a moment of vulnerability.

“What happened?” Came Lance’s small voice, and Keith was surprised to hear his voice at all.

He quickly schooled his expression and smirked, “I passed on from that phase,” he said simply, with a slight mocking shrug, remembering Matt’s term for his human life.

Lance snorted, an undignified sound, but somehow Lance managed to make it sound cute.

Taking a deep breath to mentally steel himself, Keith finally decided to broach the topic, his voice hesitant, “You’re being oddly receptive tonight, what’s that all about?”

Lance closed his eyes, looking back up to the inky expanse of sky, all possible traces of humour and happiness bleeding out of his body “Sometimes I get tired of conflict, and it’s easier to just go along with what I’m being told. After all, dreams are meant to be escapes from reality right?” He sounded tired, his voice meeker than it had been all night, and Keith couldn’t help but sympathise, although, he mused, on the flip side, Lance’s tone made Keith think that maybe, just maybe he was trying to convince himself more than Keith. He could only hope anyway.

Keith couldn’t keep the small grin contained, and finally smiled at Lance, who looked slightly put off by the expression, “Well I’m glad.”

Keith only realised hours later that Lance never noticed his wings, or if he did, had managed to look past them, instead seeing Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in absolute awe of every single one of you guys who leave such heartwarming comments, you really brighten my day. And without my kudo-ers (is that a word? I hope not) and people who comment I wouldn't be here! So thank you all, readers, kudo-ers and commenters alike!!
> 
> oh! That reminds me! If any of yall are on discord and wanna have a chat I'm Ribble #9615!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a little bit of action- hopefully leading to something more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello Hello!! Welcome back to week 2 of 'Can Ribble keep an acceptable uploading schedule?' vote now on your phones!
> 
> I decided to upload this now instead of in a few hours coz im dead tired. Its summer rn and its not even the slightest bit dark and its like... almost 6:30?? I love this??

It seemed as though once the ice started to break between the two soulmates, after that initial night of vulnerability under the Angel’s stars, Keith was more content with his past, and was willing to open up more, and Lance seemed more than content to sit and listen while the faux-wind blew through his hair.

Keith had recreated the scene again that night, the one with rolling waves of grass and the sky only illuminated by the radiant shine of the moon and her stars. Although the sky had been changed, it now held the stars and constellations the pair were very well accustomed to, their own sky. Years of staring at the sky with avid interest certainly helped in its creation.

Candles were the only form of light they had other than the sky. The golden glow lighting up Lance’s skin, making it look flawless and beautifully doll-like. Keith was looking up at the sky, resting on an arm as he spoke, his voice slightly scratchy.

“You know, I used to really like motorbikes. I loved the rush of the wind through my hair, and feeling the freedom that came with it. I found one on the side of the road one day, for hard waste pickup right? Well I brought it back home and fixed her till she was perfect.”

Lance’s curiosity seemed to be piqued, “What happened?” Keith pulled himself up into a seated position, crossing his legs criss-cross applesauce style, letting his wings drape back behind him. Wings, that Lance had yet to notice surprisingly.

Although, Keith had yet to actually bring attention to his wings, instead choosing darker dreamscapes to aid in hiding them. Maybe subconsciously, despite the choice to let Lance figure out who Keith was, he was still trying to hide?

Keith shrugged, meeting Lance’s eyes with a grin. “Took her out for a spin of course! I never got my bike licence, but that never really worried me. Worried my Dad though.” He swallowed, trying to push down the important memories of his Dad, if there was one person he didn’t want to think too deeply about tonight it was his father. He had to keep things brief for his own sake.

“My Dad was uhh… He was a great man. I was always really proud of him, but I don’t think he ever realised that.” Keith bit his lip, not really knowing how to continue the conversation without dragging the mood down further than he had already.

Lance’s voice was reproachful as he tentatively spoke, his brows furrowed slightly, “Did something happen?”

Keith’s smile turned bitter, “Yeah.” He muttered with finality. He wasn’t the person to regret his death, and it had surprised him when he realised he wouldn’t change it if he could. He didn’t have many regrets anymore. He used to, during the first half decade, but things had been so much better for him in death than they had ever been for him while he was alive.

His only regret now was leaving his Dad alone. The man had already lost his wife to divorce, and his daughter as a result, and then Keith leaves him. He was alone.

His father was old. Clinging onto life with a stubbornness seemingly passed down from Father to son. If Keith was honest with himself, he was slightly shocked that he was still alive. Keith had died decades ago, yet his Dad was still alive and appeared completely healthy, but who knew what lay beneath the surface.

He thought of his Dad often, and would visit him occasionally, to check up of him. He would talk to him, tell him about Shiro, Matt’s latest shenanigans, he would also tell him all about Lance, not that his Dad could actually see or hear him, that is. Keith had realised quite early on that it would be cruel to let his Dad know that he was right there and to not reach out. To let him know that his son was still here. Right here. ‘ _ Please look at me!’ _ He wanted to scream till his voice was hoarse, to throw things off the walls to get his attention. But he would never follow through. He had to let his Dad recover. He had seen his Fathers reactions to  _ everything _ , and there was no way Keith wanted to put his dad through that again. Although that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

He waited for his father patiently, knowing that they would talk again one day, and Keith could finally tell him all the things he had kept hidden. He had been so stoic, and while Keith still maintained a high regard for keeping emotions inside and hidden, there are times when that emotion needs to be expressed. Keith would wait for his Father for however long it took, and the first thing he would do is apologise.

Apologise that he had died before him and left him alone. Apologise that he had to bury his child. Apologise for the negative impact he had caused.

Keith’s eyes fell into his lap, where his hands lay limp as well. As if sensing the newfound bitterness, Lance didn’t push any further.

The silence seemed to stretch, and with it, it left Keith ansty, so he bit the bullet to fill it, stumbling over his words slightly as he went, not really thinking about what he was saying, rather just words to fill the space. “I had a sister as well, although she left with my Mother when my parents split. We tried to meet up and to keep contact but…” Keith trailed off with a sad swallow and small shrug, “We just couldn’t do it.”

Lance sat up from his reclining position, his hand sinking into the rug thanks to the soft grass beneath it, “So what uh, what happened to her?”

“Same thing as Dad.” Had a family member die.

“Are they both de-”

Keith cut Lance off with sharp finality, “No.”

The pair were plunged into silence once more, this one more tense than the last.  Keith was getting really sick of these silences, and quickly. Although this wasn’t really the conversation he wanted to have with Lance, he hated the silence even more. Keith watched Lance fidget slightly with tired eyes, until finally Lance opened his mouth, and being honest, Keith was glad he did. He couldn’t have seen himself starting another conversation.

“Hey Keith?”

“Yeah?” He said, letting out more of a movement than a word. His movements were staticky and kinda harsh, but Lance paid him no mind.

“I've always wanted to ride a motorbike,” he announces wistfully, reclining back onto his hands fully, letting his shoulders sink.

Keith snorts dryly and lays back to match, his tone forcible easy, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Keith and Lance parted with a small smile on their faces.

The following night, Lance was extremely shocked when he fell asleep, because the scene that he found wasn’t one he had obviously been expecting. Keith had decided to indulge Lance slightly, and that train of thought lead to Keith leaning up against a parked motorbike like he belonged there.

He was terrified in actuality. It had taken a lot of willpower for him to create the dreamscape, and a lot of strength for Keith to actually commit to riding a bike again.

He had ridden bikes to give him that rush. Feeling the wind through his hair, feeling faster than everyone else around him, like he was special in some way. But now he got that from flying, and the experience from flying was infinitely more enjoyable, leaving him hesitant and reproachful around his previous hobby.

Lance let out hoots of laughter and cheers as he made his way over, examining the scene in front of him. It was Keith, the bike, and a bike track that Keith had taken inspiration from Lance’s Mario Kart game. Granted, Lance was terrible at Mario Kart, but thankfully Keith would be the one driving. Keith inwardly cringed, he hoped he was better than Lance, after all these years of trepidation. He squashed that down, letting his happiness at seeing Lance bleed through.

“You know, dreams aren’t meant to have sequels!” Lance laughed, finally approaching Keith.

That topic in particular had definitely taken Keith some time to get used to, but now he just let it roll off his back, he had to choose his battles, and while he was intent on choosing them all, he had a bit of a wait on some. He rolled his eyes at Lance’s antics, voice light, “Maybe ‘cause I’m no-”

Lance cut him off and put his hands on his hips, right in front of Keith now, “Nice try buddy.”

Deciding to not waste anymore precious time he kicked the stand, and Keith smoothly slid onto the bike, and gripped the handles with a slight shakiness, memories only hazy from repression trying to push to the forefront of his mind.This was the first time riding a bike since --

Keith flicked some hair out of his face and turned to face Lance, squashing all fear down with a mental mallet. “You coming?”

What Keith wasn’t prepared for, was Lance  _ actually coming _ . His long legs fit calmly over the bike that was too graceful for someone who had only ever ridden a tricycle once when they were a toddler. (Lance had fallen off and sworn off all tricycles, Keith hadn’t been able to stop laughing at how frankly, pathetic, Lance’s attempt had been).

Warm arms snaked around Keith’s middle, clasping gently at his front, Keith sat ram-rod straight, a violent blush taking over his face and down his neck. This was the first time Lance had ever actually touched him. The pressure of his hold felt weird at first, heavy, foreign, but after a while that let Keith get used to his touch, even through clothing, left Keith feeling warm and bubbly, the sensation now feeling comforting and safe. He never wanted to leave.

Keith licked his lips to hide his nervousness and tried to dissipate not only his blush but the butterflies in his stomach as well.

He was so glad he hid his wings away. It wouldn’t do to have humongous feathered walls to maneuver around. And besides, it was nice to have his soulmate pressed flush against his back in a koala hug. He adored his wings, but didn’t want them, literally, to come between him and Lance.  _ Here goes nothing _ , he thought dryly.

Keith swallowed as he started the bike up, the noise loud and gut-wrenching to the angel, “I sure hope I remember how to do this, it’s been a while.” He muttered, shuffling slightly out of internal embarrassment.

“Wait what do you me-” was all Lance had time to rush out before Keith took off, and before Lance’s words melded into mindless shrieking  _ right in his ear. _

Keith chuckled as he rode, feeling Lance clamp around his middle. There was no possible way Lance would ever be hurt here. He had nothing to fear whatsoever. But it also didn’t help that Keith was an utter speed demon and adrenaline junkie combined.

As the bike continued to roar around them, and Keith zig-zagged, he found himself relaxing more into the seat. He was still anxious, but he remembered exactly why he loved to ride. It had been an escape, he was able to literally, leave his problems in the dust.

But it could never compare to flight. Everything he felt from riding was amplified in the sky. Nothing could compare.

A wicked smile bled onto his face, and he leant forward, feeling the snake-like constrictions from his soulmates shaky limbs. He’d hold off on the tricks then. Keith let his mind wander while Lance continued to scream bloody murder into his sensitive ears.

He wondered what it would be like to take Lance flying.  For his soulmate to dance through the skies as he did, so close to the stars that you could reach out and grab them.

Was that even possible? Could he do that? Or more rather, how would he do that? Would other humans just see Lance flying through the sky seemingly unsupported screaming his lungs out? Or would Keith hold under his armpits and humans on the ground would see a screaming kid trying to run through the sky with his arms up? Or could he glamour Lance? Had that ever been tried before?

Lance had stopped screaming and was laughing now, loud peals of high pitched laughter rang out louder than the bike, and Keith smiled at the change, having not noticed it happening.

Keith blinked when he realised the time, pulling into a sharp turn and slowing to a stop before turning the engine of the dreamscape bike off. He felt Lance fall limp behind him, all tension oozing from his muscles until the boy felt boneless behind him. Keith strained to hear what the younger boy was saying.

In the scratchiest, tiniest, most strained voice, Lance choked out with windblown smile, “You are… the worst… driver… ever.”

Keith snickered into his shoulder, blush roaring red on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your continued support you all help me so much more than you know and I love every single one of you!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Here we are at the release day for season 8 - the final season.
> 
> Which i havent actually watched yet, but thats what tomorrows for!!
> 
> SO!
> 
> That means there will most definitely (probably) be some things I have in here that are officially not canon! But idrc coz ive been writing this since before s7 came out :')
> 
> Anyway!! I hope you stick with me despite VLD coming to an end, because there is a lot more story i wish to tell! <3

Lance was oddly chipper the next time they met, and Keith assumed it was due to the motorbike Keith had so delightfully created, the one that Lance had screamed right into his ears and made his ears ring for hours after.

The night scenery had quickly become a favourite, Lance not taking his eyes off the stars for any longer than necessary. “So you know how I dreamt that you took me bike riding a couple days ago?”

Keith’s voice was flat in response, eyebrow raised and a smirk lacing his lips, “Lance you didn’t dre-”

Lance waved him off with a delicate flick of his wrist, eyes blissfully shut, “Shut up Keith I’m talking,” He opened his eyes and looked at Keith, “Well,” He started, and his tone was reminiscent of a tone a girl would use when telling her best friend a super duper secret when they were twelve. “Allura’s… something? Cousin? Ex? I dunno” Lance shrugged halfheartedly, “Well turns out he rides a bike, and offered to teach me on his friends track.” Lance was beaming, but Keith’s heart sank. He should have thought something like this would happen. He knew Lance, and should have expected him to take it in the form of a sign meaning something deeper than it really was.

Keith loved motorbikes, and he loved riding them. The freedom and adrenaline that riding gave him was unlike anything else he had come across before. But with Lance it was different, things go wrong, accidents happen,  and Keith knew that keenly, but things were different now. He couldn’t afford anything to go wrong now. He had a soul that was the other half of his own. And that soul was worth more to Keith than anything. Lance was worth more than anything. Something so beautiful, so pure needed to be protected, and that's all that Keith wanted to do. And God forbid anything try take him away.

Feeling his hands start to twitch,  fear started to creep into his heart. Here, in the dreamscape of Lance’s mind they were safe. Nothing could injure Lance, nothing could go wrong, no accidents could happen. Keith could control every single thing. But out there? Out there things were different. He never wanted to go near a bike ever again.

“Lance,” He started, “Please don-”

Lance’s obvious happiness bubbled right over the top of Keith’s heavy heart, “I get to head ‘round after school to check it out. Pidge and Hunk think it’s hilarious of course!” Lance’s mouth was still open to keep talking, but Keith cut him off, a tiny inkling of hope in his voice, surely Hunk’s caring and responsible nature and Pidge’s keen eyes could counteract and nip any problem in the bud, right?

“Are they going too?”

Maybe they could even convince him from riding altogether? Keith didn’t want to hope too much, and even to him the idea sounded a little far fetched, he knew how their method of dealing with Lance often fell down to tough love.

Lance’s smile dampened slightly, although becoming more fond, “Yeah, just to take pics, they think I’m going to crash and burn.”

The words ‘crash and burn’ spun in his head, making his palms sweaty and his head hazy. He swallowed, trying to swallow the forming lump in his throat. “Lance please don’t go.” Pictures and scenes that he didn’t want to remember started pushing themselves through the haze.

Lance laughs, not picking up on Keith’s (albeit well hidden due to years of practice) reluctance and anxiety, “Why, are you jealous?” He rests back on his hands and crosses his legs in an exaggerated motion.

Keith chokes, his voice struggling to keep from breaking, “N-No, just please Lance,” He starts to sit up, and brings himself into a sitting position, he starts to feel himself on the verge of panic, though tries to squash it down, down, down. He swallows again, trying to make his voice sound normal, “We can go riding every night just please,” His voice made an embarrassing crack, and the smile vanished off Lance’s face and he sat up, his eyebrows starting to furrow, “Just please don’t go.” He finished pathetically.

Lance’s voice was oddly blank, like it wasn’t sure if it wanted to be angry, confused, curious, suspicious or some mutated mixture , however, it was soft, “What’s brought this on?”

He tried to speak, but nothing came out. What was he meant to say? No, don’t go. The last time I was on a bike I died. There was no way in hell he was ever saying that or anything like it. He felt his shoulders sag in hopelessness, there was nothing he could say that would change Lance’s mind. But he had to say something, after all, he’s made this much of a fuss.

His voice was flat and devoid of all emotion. Empty. “It’s uh… not safe?”

Lance’s eyes softened, and a small easy smile made its way onto his lips, and Keith inwardly cursed. He probably just thought that Keith was trying to look out for him like any imaginary friend would. Except there was one major difference. Keith was not imaginary friend trying to look out for him. He was his dead Guardian Angel trying to protect his soulmate from what killed him.

Keith sighed in wet frustration, there was nothing he could do now.

Lance, probably in reaction to his sigh, raised his hands placatingly, “He has a bike license! Plus, he’s like…” Lance bit his lip slightly in thought, before promptly shrugging, “old, so he’ll know what to do if anything goes wrong.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Keith whispered, before closing his eyes and lifting his face to the sky.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Lance’s voice was curious, not angry, so he must have genuinely not heard Keith.

He met Lance’s direct gaze, his azure gaze piercing, his voice tight, “What if something _does_ go wrong! What if I can’t-” _What if I can’t save you?_

Lance grinned, “Keith, buddy, I get that you’re the part of my subconscious that's warning me from doing it, but chill! It’ll be heaps of fun! What’s the worst thing that could go wrong?”

When confronted with that question, that one question in particular, Keith’s mind was plunged into a hell that he never wanted anyone, Lance most of all, to endure. The agony, the trauma that had stayed by Keith’s side since that day, was a burden that Keith would never be able to fully leave behind, or to express.

He just needed Lance off. That. Bike. He would tell him everything, or as much as his mind would allow. He just couldn’t live with himself if Lance got seriously injured, or if something worse happened. Oh god there were so many things that could go wrong.

Damn it all. Damn it all. _Damn it all._

Keith’s heart sped up and he licked his lips before opening his mouth, his fingers in knots from fidgeting, “Lance, I need to tell you something.”

Lance hummed in question, his eyebrows raising with curiosity as he leaned in slightly.

He took a deep breath. This was it. “Lance I-”

He was cut off by a loud blaring, and his hands instantly dug into his hair to cover his ears. Lance’s fucking alarm clock. He felt a ball of anger rising up in his chest as Lance sends him a easy grin and a mock salute.

“Catch you! Tell me later okay?” His voice was bright and hopeful before he vanished, his voice lingering in the air, and Keith felt like screaming.

He gasped as the connection was severed, Lance was awake. Keith watched with sad eyes as his soulmate dragged himself into an upright position to blindly reach for his phone to stop that _stupid fucking alarm clock._

Keith pulled his foot up onto Lance’s bed and rested his chin on his knee, studying the younger boy, who was not even half a metre away from him. He watched as he snickered as he responded to texts, and took a few obligatory selfies to send to Pidge and Hunk no doubt, and Keith found himself smiling sadly.

He was stupid. He was a stupid, stupid lovesick fool. He wasn’t in control of Lance’s life. He wasn’t some dictator who he needed permission from to live his life. He was human. Humans fuck up and make mistakes all the time, and they grow from them. So who was he to prevent that growth? He would always be there for Lance. Always and forever, and as his Guardian, but also as the man who loved him very, very much, Keith had to let Lance live his life, and he would be there to protect him from the afterlife.

Looking at Lance, he felt oddly at peace, he exhaled, and his fingers shuffled, should he?

Fuck it.

Keith reached out and placed both of his hands on Lance’s cheeks, cradling his face. He felt the soft skin and the warmth beneath it. The life that pumped through his veins, and if he concentrated hard enough, he could _feel_ it. Feel the pumping of his heart that screamed with youth and vibrancy.

He was _alive_.

Keith felt Lance shiver and slap his hands onto his cheeks as well, unknowingly on top of Keith’s own hands, and he fought back a blush. Lance was completely unaware. But this wasn’t the time for schoolboy crushes. Even if Lance’s hands were just bigger than his own, his fingers long and-

Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Please Lance, be safe.”

 

* * *

 

Lance, being Lance, was a ball of excitement all throughout the day, buzzing like a cute little bumblebee, mood only dampening slightly when Hunk and Pidge said they couldn’t go in third period biology.

This, Lotor, judging by his property that was pretty far out, though not too far to be out of the way, to have enough space for a bike track, must have meant he was pretty rich, and Keith had to admit he was impressed, and by the reaction on Lance’s face, he was too. If Keith listened, he could hear a faint mechanical scraping noise of the background. Some heavy machinery Keith would bet.

Keith whipped his head to the right when he heard the crunching of leaves underfoot closer by, and his first view of Lotor, it was evident the man was not who he expected.

He had expected rough, tough and mean, bald head with tattoo sleeves and thick sunglasses, but this Lotor, he completely shattered Keith’s expectations.

First of all, he struck Keith as oddly, almost alarmingly familiar. It planted a seed of doubt in Keith’s stomach. Just who was Lotor past the pretty facade? He was tall, and the first thing Keith saw was the waterfall of silver hair pulled up into a high ponytail, cascading over his left shoulder. He had never seen a man with long hair that he thought suited him better than short hair. And while the leather jacket Keith had expected were present, the shirt and sweater combo under it was not, and that, alongside the brown dress shoes and glasses perched on his head, forced Keith to reconsider his judgement of this Lotor person.

Was he really in a position to teach Lance how to ride? Keith could already smell disaster. But he had inwardly promised himself that he would see how things go before stepping in, he had to give Lance at least that much.

Keith found that he couldn’t really focus the entire time Lotor was ‘teaching’ Lance the basics. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, he felt slightly off, but that had to be due to being surrounded by things he was afraid of.

His train of thought was hazy right up until the point Lance planted himself of Lotor’s quad bike. Keith felt a slight weight lift off his shoulders that Lotor had the mind to start Lance off on a something with four wheels. He had seen Lance on three wheels and it hadn’t been pretty, so Keith really didn’t want to see what would happen on two. At this point adding wheels seemed the most responsible thing to do.

“Sorry Lance,” Came Lotor’s voice from inside the shed, which sounded way too much like spoken silk than it should be allowed to sound, “The only other bike I have for you is being fixed up by my cousin right now.”

Lance shrugged, looking mighty comfortable seated where he was, “That’s okay, I don’t mind.” Lance shot his eyes to the corner of the room, where a fancy sleek black bike rested innocently. Lotor walked back into the shelter and immediately followed Lance’s eyes and smirked.

“There is no way in _hell_ you are ever going near Narti.”

Lance laughed, a decidedly not innocent smile on his face.

Once the bike was started, Keith’s heart was in his mouth. The sound was even louder than he remembered, and he could feel it closer than he thought he ever would again.

Lotor had Lance going in slow circles of the track, and Lance, admittedly, did pretty alright.  He started going faster, and seemed to be more in control, faster and faster until Lotor decided to stay in one spot and let Lance do what he wanted. He seemed to completely have the hang of it.

But Lance had only been riding not even fifteen minutes when Keith’s bad feeling came to fruition. Lance had made a turn a bit too sharp for the bike to handle, and suddenly everything was in slow motion. Lance was off the bike, and without any time to hesitate, Keith shoved himself between Lance and the ground, making himself slightly more tangible to act as a cushion or buffer between Lance and the hard ground, and used a mighty flick of one huge wing to tip the falling bike away from Lance’s leg.

Keith landed on the ground with a jarring thunk, his head snapping against the stones and small pebbles of the track, Lance landing heavily on top of him. Keith only had nanoseconds to manoeuvre properly, letting himself slowly return to his fully intangible state to ease Lance onto the ground like a deflating air cushion. No broken or dislocated bones.

His head was hazy with pain and his ears were ringing, and he was pretty sure his whole back was bleeding. The tip of his wing was bad as well, he had whole feathers missing, and his wing looked odd and bare without them.

Keith lay his head down on the gravel and let out a sharp hiss in pain, flashes of _that day_ rushing through his head, only to be interrupted by Lotor’s shout and the sound of shoes crunching on pebbles not even ten metres away.

“Shit shit shit shit Allura’s going to kill me,” Keith heard Lotor mumble, before extending a hand to Lance. Lance grabbed it and heaved himself up, trying to laugh his way out of it. The laughter was high-pitched and sounded shallow and annoying. It could never fool Keith, but Lotor wasn’t Keith, and a relieved smile crossed Lotor’s face.

Keith gave Lance a once over from the ground, only minor cuts, nothing further from what he could tell. The same could not be said about his own body. He could already feel the blood rushing rivulets down his extremities, and he was sure that the impact to his head would leave a slight bruise, but he wasn’t worried. His injuries might be much worse than Lance’s, but unlike his, Keith’s would heal in a matter of hours. He’ll be fine.

He let out a pained groan from the ground. Just because he would heal fast doesn’t mean there wasn’t any pain involved. His head was on fire and he felt a bit too hot all over. Keith watched as Lotor and Lance bickered over the first aid kit above him, the sounds all rushing together as he tried to pull himself up.

He watched the pair of humans walk back to the shelter, leaving the bike and Keith behind. And it was only when the pair of voices faded slightly that Keith pushed himself up, an odd rush of pride sweeping over him, he had actually prevented Lance from harm, and all he had was a few scrapes and maybe a bruise or two.

The rush of pride left him when he looked to the ground. The small pile of torn out and twisted feathers lay at his feet, ripped out on impact. Ignoring the ache and pain of falling on them, he pulled his left wing over to soothe it. He ran his hands softly over the pained areas and dug out small stones and pebbles and other debris that hurt him. Keeping that wing off the ground, he clutched a bleeding elbow before following Lance and Lotor on foot to the bike shed. The sound of his own footsteps ringing weirdly in his ears. He hadn’t walked this much, out in the open for years. The only place he walked was in Lance’s room, and even then only a handful of steps. In the human realm he flew everywhere else. Back home was the same, a handful of steps, but for the most part, flight.

So for Keith to now only be surrounded by the sound of his own lonely footsteps, with the added weight of his hurt wings to drag him down, he was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of powerlessness.

As he trudged forward, Keith watched with jealousy as Lotor dabbed away the grime and blood from Lance’s cuts. That should be him. The smile Lance is giving Lotor should be his. Keith should be the one at Lance’s side right now, not Lotor. He watched as the pair continue their banter, before forcing himself to tear his eyes away. Jealousy would be pointless. He should be thanking Lotor, for doing what he couldn’t. But at the same time he couldn’t help but feel envious of the contact.  He scowled, limping past them to sit up against a huge tool box across from Lance, putting his head in his hands to try stop the spinning.

Lance and Lotor had lapsed into silence, the quiet gratefully welcomed for Keith’s pounding head.

He didn’t notice Lance’s eyes scanning the room, presumably at all the newspaper clippings frame up on the walls of the shelter, but he looked up just in time for Lance’s eyes to come to a stop right about Keith’s head, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Hey Lotor, whose that, in that picture?” Lance pointed his chin slightly at the picture above Keith’s head, and he watched as Lotor turned around, only for his face to fall, and his jaw to clench.

“They're my siblings, Acxa and Keith.”

Keith’s eyes widen, what? Sibling? Surely he couldn’t have heard that properly. His head was fucked up and hazy! He only had one sibling! Acxa! He must have hit his head harder than he though. That has to be it. But despite his reluctance, he couldn’t help but remember.

The pieces of the puzzle clicked into place despite Keith so desperately trying to ruin them.

Lotor.

_It had been the last time Keith had saw Axca and his Mother. It was his younger sisters fourteenth birthday, and when Keith and his Father had turned up, they had found a baby on Axca’s hip._

_Understandably, the sight of his kid sister with an even smaller kid latched onto her sent both of them into shock. His sister was too young for a kid! She was still a kid herself!_

_Axca had stood there silently, a soft smug smile on her lips while her father and brother made fools of themselves in front of her._

_“He’s not mine if that’s what you’re thinking.” She had said calmly when they had calmed down to the point of reason. Keith had remembered coughing into his hand awkwardly in an effort to collect himself. He had noticed his father had somehow miraculously disappeared._

_“H-He’s not?”_

_Axca gently jostled the child in her arms, “This is Lotor, he’s Honerva’s son. We're taking him in.”_

_Oh._ That’s _why he’s here. Everyone in their small, sleepy town had heard of the mysterious Honerva and how she suddenly vanished into thin air, no trace left whatsoever. But Keith hadn’t known she’d had a son. He also didn't know his Mother and Honerva knew each other. They weren't related, his Mother was an only child._

_The boy, Lotor, and smiled a wide, toothless, gummy grin before reaching out to Keith. He had to admit, the baby was adorable. His sister followed the infant's gaze, and came closer with the baby._

_Keith took a step back for every step that she took forward, and suddenly there was a baby in his arms. He didn’t know the first thing when it came to babies!_

_He was warm, and lumpy, and reaching and_ pulling on his hair Axca get him off me!

_His sister giggled behind a hand, and Lotor gurgled from his arms. Keith stared in fascination at the baby, this small little human, life so full of tragedy already._

_“Axca take him back.” Sensing the fun time was over, the smaller girl took Lotor back into her grasp._

_Lotor started to whimper, but he did not cry. Axca gave Lotor a sad smile before looking up at Keith, “He likes you.”_

“This whole property is actually Acxa’s, she’s the one fixing the bike out the back at the moment, but I wouldn’t go disturb her,” Lotor said softly, swiftly packing everything back into the first aid kit, finished with cleaning and wrapping Lance’s injuries.

His sister was here?! Keith felt bubbles of joy in his stomach, so desperately wanting to see her again, but his body wouldn’t allow it. He had no choice but to listen to Lotor.

“The guy in the photo is Keith, her older brother, he’s the one who got me into riding. See the helmet over there? That was his, he gave it to me when I was little, to protect me.” Lotor’s voice was soft as he kneeled down to shove the first aid kit back to where it belonged. Keith had remembered that, he had left it outside his Mothers house for Lotor’s fourth birthday, not long before-.

He shook his head. Later.

He would have turned around to see the picture of him and Acxa, but his body was screaming at him not to move, his wings still hurting too much to move how they needed to.

Keith looked back at Lance, his heart beating wildly, only to be met with the younger boy looking like a sheet of paper, eyes wide with terror.

The photo of him and Acxa had changed everything he was well aware. Keith was terrified as well. Lance knew he was real, he had to have put it together by now, and while that may have been exactly what Keith had wanted, he just thought that he would have had a little bit more time to prepare himself.

“Do you want to give it another go?” Lotor asked, standing back up and looking behind him to where Lance still sat, unaware of the private walls that had come tumbling down, his body frozen in place with his eyes still glued to that fucking picture.

Lotor’s voice seemed to knock Lance out of his stupor, and a fake smile slid way too easily onto his face with a shake of his head, “Nope! My skin is too delicate. I’ll see you later Lotor!” He rushed to stand up, his movements stiff and shaky. “Say hi to Acxa for me!”

Lance marched out of the shelter, and Keith struggled to keep up with him. He stayed firmly behind the human instead of beside him. Lance’s movements were too choppy, and if Keith was honest, Lance was scaring him slightly.

Keith had realised where Lance was going as soon as he stood up, that gleam of curiosity in his eyes shining too brightly, even amidst all the fear.

Of course he was going back to where he fell off the bike. Back to where Keith’s feathers still lay, black as night and visible to all.

Keith hung back as Lance kneeled down onto the gravel, hissing at his wounds, to pick up a long black feather and hold it up to the light, inspecting the feather in silence.

Lance was reacting badly. He was too silent, wasn’t making any outward reaction, his actions too confident but so plainly scared. Keith had no idea what to do, had no idea what Lance was thinking, or what he would do.

He could only watch in anxious silence as Lance shoved as many of his beautiful feathers as he could fit into his backpack. He could do nothing as he watched Lance sling the bag over over his shoulder, letting it thump against his back. and walked off nonchalantly, looking completely at ease the entire walk back home.

Keith had never been more grateful that this was a small town and that he didn’t have to walk kilometres upon kilometres.

Shaky hands gave away how deep Lance’s inner turmoil ran, struggling to get the key into the lock of the house, so much so that his Mother heard it from inside and opened it for him.

Instantaneously he was swarmed by his parents and siblings and children, all talking at once, making him a part of a million different stories at once.

He had forgotten family dinner night. Everyone was fussing over him, asking if he was okay, where he had gotten the bandages and gauze from, whether he had a girlfriend or a boyfriend yet and if he was hungry.Too many questions way too quickly.

Keith watched with sad eyes as Lance shrugged them all off, claiming theatrically that ‘he needed his beauty sleep or he would never heal in time for picture day’ before putting on a fake flounce to retreat to his room, missing the murmurs of, “Picture day was two months ago,” from the rest of his milling family.

Keith dutifully trudged up to Lance’s room behind him, and entered just in time to see his feathers laid out on the bed and Lance searching up a ‘list of birds with black wings’ into the search bar of his computer. He sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling his bones groan and pop as he did so. Keith dragged a hand over his face as he watched Lance try match up his wings to a birds.

Lucky for Lance, crows are pretty common to find. Lucky for Keith however, Lance muttered as he worked, “Crow feathers? For what? Titan crows?”

Lance flung himself back on his chair, pulling at his hair with one hand and reaching out to shut his computer off with the other. The only light in the room was now Lance’s bedside table light, only just strong enough to let Keith see Lance’s tears of frustration. “I’m going _insane_.” Lance muttered to himself as he looked at the feathers on his bed, before collecting them into one bunch in anger and shoving them off his bed.

He sniffled as he got into bed and pulled the covers up to cover his face.Although a simple doona wasn’t able to stop the sounds of tears, and Keith’s felt his heart break. He didn’t even want to imagine what Lance was feeling at this moment. He took in the tears and the furrowed brows,  and the last thing Keith wanted to do was potentially make things worst, but he had to try make things right with Lance.

He placed his hands on Lance’s temples and took a deep breath. There was no going back. Everything has already changed.

It was only now whether to find out whether that change was for better or for worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone, I love you all!!
> 
> Let me know down below what you loved, what you hated and anything else you want to let me know! i adore hearing from you it makes my whole day!
> 
> ALSO!! I CHANGED A BIT IN THE FLASHBACK AND CHANGED THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN LOTOR, ACXA AND KEITH. KINDA MADE THINGS EASIER SO IF YOU MISSED THAT PLEASE GO BACK AND SEE IT!! (edit 17/12/18)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith recovers some of his fire, and Pidge is a little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Im a day late Im sorry!! (actually that might be 2 now) but no matter! I am here!!
> 
> Season 8 was certainly... well... it was a season. I loved it (aside from the shit they pulled with Lance's whole arc like wow what a hunk of shit that was) But other than that I really enjoyed it!
> 
> I hope you're going to stick with me now that canon is over!!

Keith busied himself by constructing a clearing, a forest clearing bathed in sunlight filtered through piercing green leaves. The grass underfoot was soft and long, with nothing to be afraid of in it. The only thing the grass gave way to besides trees, huge established trees with winding roots and twisted branches; were flowers. Asters, red carnations, daisies, yellow and red tulips, cornflowers and wallflowers scattered brilliantly, their colours vibrant, each bearing a message Keith so desperately wanted to tell his soulmate, but he knew it was far from the right time to do so.

One thing Keith did create, although he didn’t know the reason behind his doing so, were crows. They loitered in the trees, watching, waiting. For what, Keith didn’t know, if he was honest, he didn’t know what to feel. Didn’t know how to deal with it. He  _ didn’t know. _

He gave his wings a mighty beat, to easy the cricks and to fold them down behind his back, to make them the smallest they could be.He refused to admit he was hiding them, but just seeing Lance’s reactions when he had been awake, he didn’t just want them hanging out, he didn’t want to spook Lance anymore than he already had.

What he wasn’t expecting was Lance suddenly tearing through the grass to come to a stop not even a metre in front of him, and he looked furious.

“Just who the  _ hell _ are you?!” Lance was angry, and Keith could see the hot tears threatening to fall. He opened his mouth to answer, but he doesn’t know what to say, but Lance cuts him off before he has the chance to mumble something pathetic.

“Just who are you?” He repeated, his voice broken and cracked. Lance clutches at his hair and leans forward slightly, “Am I going mad?” He muttered more to himself than Keith, his voice dropping to a low whisper, but Keith couldn’t help but hear.

Keith took a hesitant step forward, reaching out a hand, a soft, “No,” leaving his lips. Lance slapped his hand away, and Keith recoils, holding his hand close to his chest, stinging with rejection, “Lance I-”

“What are you?” He hissed, “Am I cursed? Are you a demon or something?!” Lance’s eyes blew wide and he took a step back from Keith. It stung Keith even more to think that his soulmate hated him. His throat was tight. He couldn’t form a response.

Keith felt all tension leave his body, his shoulders sagged, and unconsciously so did his wings, the tips falling down to the ground, not having to be painfully constricted behind his back.

He looked at Lance mournfully, watching his soulmate descend into his own head, almost hearing his thoughts. Lance was no doubt afraid, scared of who Keith was and how Lance was seemingly having a recurring dream of someone that was real but had never even met.

It wasn’t exactly normal for humans to see dead people.

Bringing his bottom lip into his mouth, he chewed till his mouth was filled with blood and then some, till the area was bloody and raw. He didn’t know what to do, did he step forward? End the connection now? His feet stayed planted, frozen. Even though his mind was screaming at him to do something, _ anything _ , his feet refused.

If there was one thing Keith despised, it was being uncertain. He liked direction. He hated not knowing what he was to do or how to do it. 

Both paused when a loud pop interrupted their train of thought. Both Lance’s muttering and Keith’s tumultuous mental tug-o-war ground to a halt when Keith accidentally pulled at one of his fingers in frustration loud enough to crack the joint. They met gazes briefly, Lance’s lips pulled into a line, and Keith peered back in slight embarrassment.

Keith wanted to break out in nervous laughter under Lance’s scrutiny, an awkward silence building between them. He saw Lance’s eyes widen and eyebrows furrow, before all the colour drained out of his face. But, he wasn’t looking at Keith anymore, almost as if he was looking past hi-

His wings.

Eyes widening almost comically, he snapped his wings flush up against his back, but it was too late, Lance’s eyes darted all over his form, most definitely taking in the cuts and bruises, which unlike Lance’s, had almost completely healed.

His soulmate’s voice was broken, and cracked more than once, “What’s going on?” He uttered, his eyes flitting between the wings and the Angel himself, before Keith felt a sharp pull in his navel as the connection Keith established between himself and Lance’s mind snapped, forcefully severed by the younger boy.

Keith gasped in slight pain as he yanked his fingers back from Lance’s temples, not even having the time to take a breath before Lance had shot into a seated position, his face seemingly less than twenty centimetres away from his own. He was breathing heavily, a slight sheen of sweat glistening on his face, and their eyes unknowingly met. Lance’s gaze, which was staring right through him, Keith couldn’t help but go red at the lack of distance, despite the emotion running rampant in the room.

Lance shoved his doona to the other side and moved directly past Keith, who twisted his head in time to see Lance slump into his desk chair, flick on his lamp and fire up his computer in jerky, rushed movements.

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the back of his head and groaned. This was the opposite of what he wanted. Lance hated him and thought him a demon, and they had gotten exactly nowhere in  _ how long? _

Part of him wanted to regret everything, to wipe Lance’s memory and go back to observation. He forced himself to drag his mind away from it.

There was no way he could ever regret anything to do with Lance. Even if the times they conversed where shrouded in secrecy and often a little forced at times, there was no way he could ever regret Lance, his beautiful, bright, bubbly soulmate. There was no way.

Keith squinted at Lance’s bright screen, he really needed to find his glasses, the glare from the screen was bugging him. He dragged himself up to go stand behind Lance, who had pulled up a search engine to readily type, ‘Keith and Aksha’ into the search bar.

Keith frowned, that wasn’t how you spelle-

Did you mean: Keith and  **Acxa** ?

Lance paid it no mind and clicked the first news link.

The words: “ _ TEEN DEAD AFTER MOTORCYCLE EXPLOSION _ ” looked back at him in resolute finality. Keith gripped his arms in a subconscious effort to console himself.

Being an Angel was hard, he made the journey from life to death, he knew what came next, and he knew that there was nothing, _ nothing _ , to be afraid of. But those still living their lives had no clue, hopelessly running around trying to prolong the inevitable, creating meaningless hierarchies and structures that all melted away in death.

Seeing a news article about his death finally drove home what Keith had known but hadn’t really understood till that point, that although everything was going (mostly) fine for him, he was in perfect health, was happy for the majority of the time, and had been able to grow more as a soul than he had ever had the chance to during life.

But humans didn’t. They lived every day unsure of which day would be their last, and they lived scared of death’s warm and comforting embrace. Dying was a weight being taken off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there. It felt natural and liberating and  _ breathtaking _ . But the letters on Lance’s screen, capitalised and written in thick black, symbolised everything humans thought they understood about the cycle of life. Life and death, black and white, when in reality, everything was the same, everything was connected in a beautiful shade of existence. Whether you were human or an angel, it didn’t really matter, each had their own responsibilities, and each was a reward for the other.

Though that didn’t make reading the article over Lance’s shoulder any easier.

_ “...Keith Kogane, 18, has lost his life after a motorcycle explosion at the intersection of Harbour Street and Mulberry Boulevard. The 18 year old, unlicensed, passed away in hospital earlier this afternoon from severe head trauma and extensive third degree burns. He leaves behind his parents, sister and a newly adopted brother, who had this to say…” _

If he was being honest, the amount of information in the article slightly disturbed Keith, but he forced himself to mentally chalk it up to the small population of the town, everyone had connections to everyone somewhere along the line.

He gripped both his arms above his elbows, his jagged fingernails creating ruddy crescent moons in the flesh of his upper arms, taking a couple more steps to approach Lance’s now shaking form.

He hated himself for putting Lance through all this pain, if he had known this was what was going to happen…

Keith let out a frustrated huff at his own shortcomings, before extending a now mostly healed wing across Lance’s shoulders, only centimetres from Lance’s frame, barely any space between feather and boy. To embrace someone with your wings was seen as an extremely intimate gesture, only shared between family and soulmates. It was one of the warmest and safest feelings Keith had ever felt, and he could never begin to explain how loved and safe and  _ whole _ he would feel to be enveloped in Lance’s wings one day.

One day. That would be a long way off yet.

 Keith dipped his head slightly to see the expression on Lance’s face. His eyes were wide and he was biting on his lips, humming slightly as he read the article, almost as if reading internally.  His wing still hovered over Lance, yet to actually connect, and Keith clenched his teeth as he finally laid it on his soulmates shoulders.

Lance shivered violently, pulling his legs up onto the chair, wrapping them with one hand while the other still lay rested on the computer mouse. He shot a look behind him, to where Keith’s wing lay heavily, wings that Lance couldn’t actually feel the weight of. Wings that Lance was scared of.

Keith gripped his arms tighter, hugging himself fiercely, not knowing what to do.

Why was he so subdued? If this was anyone else Keith would have a plethora of snarky barbs at the tip of his tongue and a minimal tolerance for bullshit.

But he found himself with none of that. It was almost as if he was a completely different person, having to tread extremely lightly for fear of failure. He missed his sarcasm and his wit, a subtle smirk and raise of the eyebrow, but he found himself without them.  He so desperately wanted to return to the person he used to be, to not have to hide anything. Oh how he so longed for there to be no secrets. He found himself biting his tongue more often than not so he didn’t just blurt everything out at once.

But he would continue holding his tongue. Who knows what effect telling Lance everything at once would have. It certainly wouldn’t be positive. Hell, he barely knew anything now and see what position they had themselves in, it was almost akin to a rut, a never-ending cycle.

He would dream, sometimes, of witty banter, shared laughter and fake arguments between himself and Lance. Of competitiveness and pointy elbows being driven into his side. He longed for that freedom. Longed for equal companionship and love.

That would come, hopefully. But not right now. He had to take this carefully, tactfully and not impulsively in the slightest. He had to approach this completely different than he had approached anything in his life, or in his death.

But for now, he would watch and wait, protect and nurture the life that was the other half of his own. It was agonising watching him descend into himself like this.

Lance didn't sleep that night, not a wink. He spent the time rooted to his desk chair, head resting on his knees, exhaustion having taken over his features hours ago. Keith was fully aware that Lance needed sleep, and was unbelievably tempted to make him sleep, to cloud his mind, make his eyes drop and give him a sleepless rest, but he restrained himself, worried that Lance would react badly to any dream scenario, even no dream at all. He was avoiding sleep, from what Keith could glean.

They were there for hours, Lance sitting, and Keith standing next to him diligently, never leaving his side for even a second. The hours were spent with Lance trawling the internet. First he started out with pictures of Keith, mostly school pictures from his old school’s website and the pictures used in the news articles Lance could find. Then it migrated into demons, wing symbolism and studies of the human subconscious.

Keith’s wings had shaken slightly of their own accord when Lance breath caught at what the crow was often a symbol of. Crows were not only believed to be the harbingers of death, darkness, and often possessed a trickster nature, but also of audaciousness, of fearlessness and destiny. He felt Lance shuffle slightly under his wing, obviously uncomfortable at what he was reading, but Keith had to admit that he was quite curious at to what his wings meant. To him, they meant freedom, of change and bliss, they brought him everything he had ever wanted. They brought him not only the sky, but his soulmate, who he loved with every fibre of his being.

The pair stayed there until the sun started to peek through Lance’s blinds, little rays of warmth, and with it, a new day. Lance groaned and stretched his arms above his head, inadvertently shrugging the onyx wings off of him, to which Keith quickly folded back up. He moved out of the way as Lance struggled to get up, joints stiff and his coccyx no doubt stinging. He rolled his neck and wrists, humming at the loud pops that emanated. Keith sat himself back on Lance’s bed, to wait for him to get ready for the oncoming school day, making sure to silently help Lance wake up and feel refreshed with only look and a thought. Lance was muttering as he puttered around his room, words half formed and in a butchered mess of Spanish and English. Keith didn’t bother listening in, instead he lay back on the comfy doona, shutting his eyes as he listened to the Mcclain household start to wake.

* * *

 

Lance, Pidge and Hunk were all sat under one of the larger trees their school campus had to offer, and Lance, due to the combination of Lance’s makeup skills and Keith’s subtle mental persuasion, looked and felt like he had just received a hearty nights sleep.

“I think I’m cursed,” Lance began matter of factly, a soft frown on his features. Keith had actually sat down in the wide gap between Pidge and Lance, with Hunk opposite him laying on the ground using everyone’s jumpers as a pillow. He watched Pidge and Hunk’s eyes meet and Pidge sigh slightly, a small smile on her lips.

“Who would want to curse you?” Started Pidge, her tone mischievous, but Keith had known (or at least observed) her for long enough to know that she was genuinely interested.

Lance’s eyes widened as he leaned forward, “Demons of course!”

Hunk swallowed a strawberry he had pilfered from Pidge, coughing slightly, “But I thought you didn’t believe in the supernatural?”

“Is now a good time to start playing the X-Files theme song in the background?” Pidge smirked mockingly as she dug her phone out of one of her many hidden pockets.

The look Lance shot her was slightly amused, but mostly sick of her shit, “Pidge shut up this is serious.”

Pidge shrugged and stuffed her phone away, “Sure sure,” She replied airly before throwing a strawberry into her mouth, talking around it, “So, you’re being cursed… by a demon?”

Lance threw his hands up in the air in a ‘hallelujah’-esque motion, “Yes! A mullet haired demon named Keith!”

The real Keith, an Angel with a  _ wide fringe _ , adjusted himself petulantly, his bottom lip stuck out and his hand tugging the end of his hair, thinking what short hair would look like on him. Maybe if cut it Lance would give him a better nickname and stop seeing his ‘mullet’ as his only defining feature. He was more than just his hair dammit!

Pidge and Hunk tried to stifle their giggles, before Pidge couldn’t keep it contained any longer and burst into hyena-like peals of laughter, Hunk’s lower tone of laughter ringing loud and proud as well. “So you admit it’s a mull- wait  _ what _ ?” Pidge cut herself off, pushing out a leg and straightening her back, a frown on her face in confusion.

Hunk’s laughter had also died off, and had morphed into questioning. He sat up and crossed his legs, before picking up the jumpers and placing them in his lap, flicking his eyes between Pidge and Lance as he spoke with uncertainty, “We thought Keith was just a recurring dream you were having?”

He got a deep sigh in return, and Keith shuffled again roughly, with none of them being able to see him, he ground out, “I’m not a fucking dream demon.” The words went unacknowledged, but Keith was already expecting that, his fists were clenched, and he had to focus on his breathing to calm him down.

He was so sick and tired of Lance assuming he was a fucking dream. And now he thought him an actual demon who had cursed him? Come the  _ fuck _ on.

Keith forced himself to take deep breaths between clenched teeth, feeling his deep-seated frustration starting to leave him slowly. Pidge and Hunk surely had something positive to say. They could help them. He still had hope, even after yesterday.

Lance ran a hand through his hair, “Well, so did I, but then at Lotor’s, you know-”

“Allura’s soulmate, yes Lance, we know,” Pidge rolled her eyes, amusement in her eyes.

Lance blinked, thrown off, “Oh? I thought he was a cousin… or ex?”

“Nope,” Piped up Hunk nonchalantly, popping another of Pidge’s strawberries in his mouth, “Soulmate.”

Pidge frowned as she finally took notice of how many of her strawberries were missing, and the hand slyly coming back for another. She slapped Hunk’s hand away quickly, before jamming the remainder of the strawberries in her mouth. “Don’t touch my shit,” She tried to say, although it just came out as a mixture of warbling dog noises.

Keith watched on in amusement as the Pidge-munk tried in vain to chew and swallow the five strawberries in her mouth. He dipped his head her direction, stopping her from choking, he doubted her Guardian would be too happy if she via strawberry. Or even if he was and keeping himself hidden from view, he would have been acting suspiciously late.

When she had swallowed the entirety of the strawberries, she opened her mouth in victory, showing her empty mouth. Hunk clapped politely as Lance screwed up his face in disgust. “Ta-daa!”

“That’s the grossest thing I’ve seen today.”

Pidge gave him the middle finger, “You’re gross.”

He gave her the same finger in response with an innocent smile making its way onto his lips. He looked at Hunk, “Anyway, so I fell of the bike right,” He said, brandishing the bandages and band aids littering his body to the goans of his friends. “Well turns out Lotor’s was adopted-”

The story turns to background babble as Keith zoned out. He knew this story, he had lived it once already and he didn’t need to hear it a second. He rested an elbow on his knee as he thought back to Acxa and Lotor, something he had yet to seriously think of and absorb.

Lotor was… not who Keith had envisioned him to grow up to be. He saw how he treated Lance, the care and kindness he showed. He was a gentle soul at his core, who didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but who treasured those around him so blatantly. He had assumed, in the household he grew up in, that he would be a lot more similar to his mother and sister.

He hadn’t seen Acxa, but he could clearly envision who she had grown into. He had always seen his sister as a geode. Unassuming on the outside, who appeared tough although she really cared too much, but inside she was loving and protective. It just took a lot to get to that part, with her often coming off as aloof and severe.

Keith had never been there for Acxa when he was alive, and could count how many times he had visited her in death on one hand and still have fingers to spare. He loved his sister, he really did, but she was better off putting him behind her and being strong for everyone who counted on her.

Keith had never been a very good brother, he didn’t really know how to act around babies and children, coming off as too cautious and timid, so he had never really interacted with the boy his mother had adopted. He had seen his mother even less than his sister, and again, although he loved her, he couldn’t bring himself to ever see her, feeling out of place and more of a burden than a son.

Maybe he should give them a visit when all of this had settled down.

“- then I go to sleep and he’s standing there, in the middle of a field with these huge imposing ass black wings!” Lance replayed theatrically, reeling Keith back into the conversation. Was that really how Lance saw him?

Pidge raised a hand to stop him, “Okay, so wait, this dream demon of yours, this, dreamon, if you will,” A large smirk bled onto her features, causing Hunk to grown loudly and flop back onto the grass behind him, and Lance to try interrupt her fiercely, all attempts faithfully ignored, “ This dreamon,” She repeated, antagonising her friends even further, “Mullet haired Keith, hasn’t done anything bad, no nightmares, no ‘you will die in 7 days’ bullshit, and he was covered in cuts and bruises with wings the same colour as the ones you found when you fell off your bike?”  Her voice inflected at the end as she shot Hunk another look, and Hunk raised the end tip of his eyebrow in return.

“I dunno dude,” Hunk took over, looking at Lance, “But to me that sounds like somethings tryin’ to protect you.” He flicked his eyes back over to Pidge for a split second, who nodded sharply.

Lance’s mouth had dropped open, looking more like a fish than a boy. “He’s a dream demon! Hunk! Pidge!” He shrieked shrilly, causing Keith to slap his hands over his sensitive ears, and drawing the attention of passersby, looking over with glares and looks of disgust and annoyance.

Hunk cleared his throat, “Yeah Lance, you said something about his wings earlier?”

The brunet blinked, “Oh yeah, wanna see?”

The other two sat up even straighter, their interest definitely peaked. Lance groaned as he pulled his heavy bag to the middle of their little triangle, or a circle, if Keith included himself. Should he have included himself? He was sitting there, right? He had to count.

As Lance pulled one of Keith’s feathers out of the bag, he cringed slightly at is crumpled state, and cringed even harder as he handed it over to Hunk, who examined it before handing it to Pidge, who took her time studying the feather, and Keith felt his face flush. He was unsure of how he should feel about anyone else and Lance having one of his feathers between their fingers.

If there was one thing Keith was happy with, it was that Matt and Coran left their humans in his care, because if either Angel were here with them right now there was no way Keith would survive the mortifying teasing he was would have to endure.

“These are really pretty Lance, but I don’t really know what you want us to do about your dreamon… or uhh, pet giant crow?” She placed the feather down and Lance snatched it back up quickly before stuffing it back into his bag.

Keith couldn’t help but preen slightly at Pidge’s compliment his feathers vibrating gently against his skin, he always made sure his wings were the healthiest they could be.

“Help me guys! I can’t go back to sleep or he’s gonna eat me!” Keith’s jaw dropped, was Lance serious? Not once had he ever given Lance reason to think anything along those lines! He shot his eyes to Pidge and Hunk, to gauge their reactions, and was grateful he did.

Hunk’s face was dry, an eyebrow arched as he sighed, and Pidge looked like someone just took a huge shit right in front of her. Eyes almost bugged.

“What the actual  _ fuck _ Lance? Why the fuck would he want to torture himself? He’s probably just a dream,” Pidge said, and although her tone was fueled with disgust, it gave way to something Keith knew very well, a lie. Keith felt like crying, Pidge believed he was more than a dream! She knew he was real! He didn’t want to think of how she knew, but the fact that someone other than Matt, Shiro and Coran knew him as something not human planted a bubble of pure joy in his heart. He felt like hugging the small girl, as weird as it would actually be.

“You’re probably just seeing coincidences, and your dreamon is just a dream,” Hunk tried to placate Lance, and Pidge fist-pumped to the side at Hunk’s use of ‘dreamon’, meanwhile, he heard Lance mutter a defeated, ‘oh not you too’.

Hunk smiled warmly as he continued easily, “You’re in control of your own dreams Lance, and besides, if anything goes wrong, just wake up and give us a call.”

“We can break out my brothers old Ouija board again!” Pidge piped up, sounding entirely all too excited.

Lance sent Pidge a dry look, “Those things are fake and we all know it.”

Pidge doesn’t reply, a not-at-all innocent but all too knowing smile on her face.

* * *

 

That night, Keith didn’t know whether to feel trepidation or excitement. Lance had been psyching himself up to sleep for the past hour and a half in his room, with Keith covering his mouth with a hand to stop himself from laughing. “Okay Keith Koga-demon let’s roll,” Lance finally announced to his room as he slipped into bed, pulling the doona up to his waist.

Keith couldn’t help let out a loud chuckle at that one. Keith Koga-demon. Even he had to admit that was quite funny for the situation. He touched the centre of Lance’s forehead as soon as the younger boy had stopped squirming, to help him fall asleep quicker.

He took a deep breath as he gently tucked Lance’s hair out of his face once he was asleep, dipping from his forehead to his temples, taking in the soft skin against his fingers, and the silk-like strands of hair brushing against him, vestiges of chuckles escaping him, giving way to a fond smile.

The connection established slowly, and settled into a way-too-bright white. Keith squinted, before dimming the blank canvas to a pale cornflower blue, Lance’s favourite colour.

He didn’t create any scenery this time. Lance was expecting him. There was going to be no nice conversations and story times, it would be their first confrontation.He knew he had wings now, so he didn’t hide them, instead having them folded against his back, the walls of black slightly too imposing to have them in any other position. He stood silently before taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for hurricane Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my commentors this time. I read every single thing that gets written, and it fills me with such joy and love that I never know how to reply without sounding repetitive, because I love every single interaction i have with you guys. I know what my lack of reply to comments could be seen as rude and neglectful, but really it's me trying to stop fucking smiling and dancing in my room like a pitiful fool every time someone reaches out.
> 
> I love you guys so so much. I love the ones that take time out of their day to respond, no matter how lengthy or short. You are most of the reason I'm still doing this, so I thank you! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance reacts badly, and a look-see into Keith's last memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Here I am on the last day of 2018!! So much has happened this year, and im glad this is one of them! I hope you'll stick with me into the new year, I wish you all the best!! :) <3

The first sound he heard was Lance’s shrill shriek, “I’m not afraid of you dream demon!”  Keith looked up from his fidgeting hands as Lance made his way toward him, though Keith noticed Lance’s gait shorter than usual. He was taking his time. Keith could barely keep his grin hidden, oh how cute he was, Keith new he was scared, but was like a cat, poofing up to appear stronger than it really was.

Keith raised an eyebrow, inwardly ecstating at finally getting to tell Lance how he felt of the whole situation, “Dream demon?”

“Yes! Demons aren’t real, so you must be a demon my mind came up with or something,” Lance waved his hand noncommittally, “But I’m not scared!” He pressed, digging both his hands into his armpits.

Keith swallowed thickly, feeling frustration start to seep into the edges of his being, overtaking that precious happiness, he hadn’t counted on Lance being as stubborn as a fucking mule, but he shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He had to be gentle. He couldn’t lose his temper or raise his voice. He had to  _ reason _ with him.

When he opened his eyes he felt the tinges of frustration leave him. “Lance,” He said softly, ducking his head slightly in an effort to placate the boy, “I’m neither of those things.”

“You’re trying to trick me! I know your plan Demon!” Lance had stopped around ten metres away from Keith, and had thrown up his hands in a cross, at this point however, Keith was honestly surprised Lance hadn’t let out a war-cry of  _ ‘the power of Christ compels you!’ _

He was too busy trying to absorb Lance’s statement, and found himself taking a small step forward, almost as if to hear better. “My,” Keith blinked in confusion, completely lost as to where Lance was going with this, “My what?”

“Your plan! You’re going to eat my brain!”

Keith felt all tension leave his body at what he heard. His eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth to speak multiple times, nothing coming out.

“Lance?” He asked, running a hand through his hair, his voice dry and full of veiled disgust, “Lance what the fuck?”

Had the boy gone mad? Where the ever-loving fuck had he pulled that from? Keith had been sure Pidge and Hunk had specifically said, ‘he’s protecting you’ not ‘he’s a demon who's going to eat your brain.’ It was like a game of shitty Chinese-whispers.

But even despite Lance’s… questionable choice of words, Keith could tell he was genuinely frightened. Too riled up to be able to think logically for himself. 

Keith plonked himself on what he deemed the floor, a huge sigh leaving his lips, he’d try and try until one day, he’ll finally be able to calm Lance down with a wing and a warm embrace rather than just his words alone. “Lance,” He broached again softly, “It’s true that I’m not human, but I’m not a demon.”

The softness of Keith’s tone makes Lance, who had previously been muttering incomprehensibly, throwing his arms around and generally making a fool of himself; freeze, all bravado and melodrama ebbing out of his person, his shoulders dropping.

Lance blinked as he became suspicious, caution in his tone. “T-Then what are you?”

Finally some trust! Keith wanted to grin and jump up and down, sweeping Lance into his arms, and had to grip his upper arms to forcibly keep him down. For the thousands of times Keith had blatantly albeit half-heartedly told Lance who- what he was, this was the first time that it was actually staying between his ears instead of into one and out the other.

But although Keith was ecstatic at this olive branch of Lance’s, he couldn’t help but slip into familiar territory, although unventured with their newfound emotional vulnerability. “Would you believe me if I told you?”

Lance huffed, brows still furrowed. That would be a no then? Both he and Keith were probably thinking of all those times previous in which Keith had said what he was, only to be resisted by the same boy that stood defeated Keith now. Lance was proud, and even if the penny had already mentally dropped, there was no way he was admitting to any of it, which lead to Keith having to cover all bases.

He had a small twitch of his lips, “My name is Keith though. Keith Kogane, but you already knew that though?” He reached out his hand from the ground, hoping for a casual movement and a nonchalant handshake, any inch of contact that he could grasp. 

“L-Lance McClain,” Lance dug his hands further under his armpits, looking at Keith’s outstretched hand reproachfully.

Ouch.

It hurt, it hurt more than Keith would ever admit, to have his soulmate afraid of him. Someone who he’s been in love with, cherished so deeply in ways that scared him. It scared him how deep his feelings ran. Feelings that he had never felt before, feelings of love so overwhelming he thought he was drowning. Loving someone was hard, but loving someone but having to restrain yourself from loving them was like screaming your voice raw but no one hearing. It was like wanting to cry all the time but you had no idea what over. It felt like an unknown force squeezing your heart and constricting your throat. Love had  _ always _ been his tragedy.

Keith wanted to be angry, to lash out, to scream, to cry at Lance for what he was putting Keith through. How he was hurting the one who loved him the most in ways he could never imagine.

Oh how cruel fate could be, to love someone who didn’t love you.

To have to introduce yourself, and for them to be so so  _ so scared _ of your touch, of your voice, of your very being, Keith didn’t know how to process it, instead pushing it into the recesses of his mind. But he could feel it start to creep up his throat and start to cloud his mind like a poison.

He shook his head minutely before plastering a grin on his face. He had to ignore it. This was entirely new territory for Lance, and he had to guide him through it. He would be there for him every step of the way.

And every step taken was closer to the destination.

“Nice to meet you officially Lance McClain,” He tried to make his voice sincere, despite the oddness of the situation, he put on a mask of what Lance would see as reassuring. “I’m your Guardian Angel.”

Despite all the negativity seeping into his veins, admitting that single truth was like a weight off his shoulders. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced standing still.

Lance doesn’t speak, his face screwing up. Emotions flitting across his face faster than Keith could read, though none of them positive. He doesn’t sit, his movements becoming fiddly and jolted.

Keith shuts his eyes in resignation as he stands, causing Lance to take a step back, his eyes wide. Scared. More scared than he had ever been around Keith before.

Keith’s voice was wet when he spoke next, trying to swallow the lump that had made its home in his throat, “Do you want me to go away for tonight?”

“You can do that?” Came Lance’s shaky answer.

Keith couldn’t help but smile weakly at Lance, some of his fringe flopping into his face, “Yeah,” He swallowed again, “This is  _ your _ dreamscape.”

Lance licked his lips as his brow furrowed further, “Then yes.”

Those two words shot Keith straight through his heart, rejection stinging his whole body. He licked the front of his teeth to keep his mouth shut.

He tried to smile, yet only creating a sad grimace pulling on his cheeks, “I-I’ll give you some time,” He whispered, severing the connection.

The next thing he knew he was staring at Lance’s sleeping face, screwed up and terrified. He sighed roughly, not taking his hands away from the side of Lance’s face as tears began to well up. 

His breathing was ragged and his eyes burning. He had never thought Lance would react like this.  _ This _ scared of him. Thinking him a dream demon, storming in with the confidence with a thousand kings, fierce battle-cries for a foe that only wanted to protect him from anyone who dare challenge his beloved.

For someone so proud as both Keith and Lance were, to see them now, as shadows of who they normally were. It hurt.

Keith hung his head over Lance, not bothering to move his hair out of the way as the first tears fell off his cheeks. Tears that fell onto Lance’s forehead. He wanted to move but he couldn’t find the energy.

He sat there for longer than he would care to admit, finally wrenching his hands from Lance’s temples only to cover his face with them as he sobbed, to stop his pathetic whimpers from escaping.

Stop crying.

Stop crying.

_ Stop crying. _

He shoved the heel of his hands into his eyes roughly as he sniffled. Keith stood up and made his way over to the window, looking out at the stars through blurry eyes.

He had to reason with himself. Lance just didn’t understand, nor was he aware of all the things happening around him.

How could he get Lance to understand? To accept his presence, to love him someday? Was this whole endeavour of Keith’s just a fairytale ending out of his reach for the rest of his existence?

A shuffling noise behind him caught his attention, Keith turned around to see Lance shuffling in his sleep. He must still be feeling uneasy.

Keith made his way back to Lance, tears stuck frozen to his cheeks as he placed a wet, teary kiss on his forehead, and watched as his body seemed to relax, his features smoothing, his breath evening out.

He sat at Lance’s desk chair, looking at the pages and pages of research Lance had been making about him, printouts of every picture (most of them unflattering) and news article he could find, dream symbolism, animal symbolism, each in-depth and annotated.

It was one thing, being an Angel, knowing everything about your charge, knowing the entirety of the unique situation they shared, but he had to constantly remind himself that Lance was human, and didn’t know anything past what Keith told him and what he chose to accept.

Although, when Keith was himself alive, he had always been convinced someone was always just out of his periphery. So Lance would have to have realised there was more than what meets the eye.

He placed the papers down on the desk with a sniffle, wiping at his puffy eyes, before noticing a stray piece of paper tucked under Lance’s keyboard. He yanked it out and turned the sheet over-

How did Lance get this? How had Keith not seen this? He had been there the whole time and  _ not once seen this _ ? That still didn’t explain how he was able to find this picture. News articles in their town never usually showed pictures of the accidents.

Keith stared at the picture, transfixed, and barely noticed his tears as they started to track down his face once more, his mind back to the day he died.

_ Keith crept through the small house he and his father shared, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards. His father was tired, having just returned home from an overnight shift, and Keith didn’t want to bother him with his bitching this early in the morning. _

_ He slid the eggs from the pan onto a plate, chucked on a slice of toast and called it a masterpiece. Grabbing a pen from a basket just off to his right, he left his Father a note,  _ ‘In the garage fixing up red, get some more sleep, you need it.’

_ Working two jobs would drain anyone like crazy, so Keith wanted his dad to take every advantage to sleep that he could. He opened the inside door to the garage and flicked the button to raise the garage door, the whir and clank of metal hopefully soft enough to keep his father asleep. _

_ Keith flicked his eyes to the outside world, a little greyer than it normally looked. He trudged his way over to look up and glance at the sky, a wide expanse of greys and near blacks. A storm was coming. _

_ He shivered as a slight chill overtook him, looking back at the door leading into the house for a second. He could have sworn there was something there? Keith frowned and ignored it, plugging in his music as he collected the tools he needed. _

_ As soon as music starts to flow in his ears he felt tension he didn’t know was there seeping out of his muscles, all his worries and thoughts all turning toward the cool metal under his fingers. He worked mindlessly, humming along to whatever track came up next. _

_ He stood back abruptly, and wiped a hand across his brow to shift the hair laying there. She was done. _

_ Keith smiled in satisfaction as felt a rush of pride surge through him. He had built this. Taught himself what to do and when to do it and created something as beautiful as she. _

_ He ran a hand through his hair again, before grunting softly, pulling a hair tie from his wrist and gathering his hair into a small bunch before tying it off. Keith bit his lip at he snuck a glance at the clock hanging on the wall, his dad wouldn’t be rising yet right? Surely he had time to take her for a quick spin. After all, he deserved a little reward? _

_ He sucked his teeth as he deliberated, before eventually deciding to _ fuck it _ , making his way back inside to add to his note for Dad, just in case he woke up for some reason. _

_ Throwing the fridge open, he made a mental note to pick up some milk on the way home, jotting that down on the piece of paper as well. _

_ Keith hummed to himself as he slid onto the cool leather seat of his bike, mildly surprised at how perfect and smooth it felt under him. He felt his lips expand into a grin as he puts the key in, and laughter wanting to bubble out of him as he took off. _

_ She worked like a charm! He couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he sped around corners, zipping and twisting around the streets of his shitty little town. _

_ Feeling the wind through his hair was so liberating, feeling the wind’s soft fingers caressing his head, the hair tie having been tied too loose to keep traction, leaving inky black waves to spill out behind him. _

_ Keith had to remind himself to pick up a helmet later as well, as much as he loved the wind through his locks. What if he ever fell off? _

_ Despite caution trying to worm its way into his mind, Keith let out a hoot of giddy laughter, and airy cries of joy as he tore down the main road, hardly a car in sight for 10 am on a Sunday. _

_ Picking up the milk was hardly a blip in his journey, and from the moment he shut the bike off he wanted nothing more than to feel the wind in his hair and laughter in his throat. _

_ He placed the milk on the conveyor to pay, the clerk across from him, a girl from school that he didn’t care for the name of, hair dyed a myriad of colours and an earphone in one ear, regarded him coldly as she handed him his change, and he noticed her eyes trailing him as he walked out. _

_ He stuck his hand behind his head on his way out and flipped her off. He must really look like a delinquent, with his dad’s old leather jacket and cut off gloves and tattoos that he was all too young to legally get. _

_ He couldn’t care less what she thought of him. He slung himself over his bike again, the movement seeming near natural to him as he sped off again, the loud sounds reverberating off the empty streets.   _

_ Keith would never tire of this feeling. Pure rush of adrenaline. He grinned again as he leaned forward, spurring Red forward, faster and faster he rode, the trees passing him quicker and qui- _

_ A loud clunk ripped Keith from his reverie before the whole bike shuddered and gurgled. That did  _ not _ sound okay. He slowed the bike down to the speed limit on the empty road, but before he could brake he was consumed with a loud screech in his left ear and blinding, white hot pain overtook his whole body. _

_ He remembered hitting his head on the ground with a brain rattling thunk, and no more. The last thing he saw and could remember, was his world surrounded by flames, his beloved bike at the centre of it all. _

* * *

 

_ Black. _

_ The first time he opened his eyes was the hardest. It felt like something was keeping them shut, and finally wrenching them open felt like scratching an itch he never knew he had. _

_ Keith didn’t know where he was, and instantly his eyes darted around his new surroundings. He was in a bed, well he thought it was a bed, it was definitely comfortable. But he was alone.  He sat up and slumped instantly, his joints were sore and many popped instantly from the unexpected movement. Keith yawned, before suddenly being enveloped in a mass of warmth mid yawn, letting out an embarrassing squeak into the warmth, instantly trying to shimmy his way out. _

_ He stopped resisting when he felt the mass start to shake. Keith’s first instinct was to hesitantly wrap his arms around the shaking body, returning the hug awkwardly. “Um…Hello?” _

_ When his arm ran against an odd, puckered surface, he was shocked to find the person hugging him only had one arm ending at the shoulder. His eyes widened, but he said nothing about it, starting to awkwardly pat the back of the stranger. _

_ When the body pulled back, he finally got a look at who was hugging him. An Asian man no older than twenty-seven, with tears building up in his eyes and his jaw visibly clenched. Keith’s eyes were automatically drawn to the scar crossing over the man's nose, and he was slightly embarrassed to admit it only added to the mans handsome features. Keith couldn’t help but stare as the man wiped his eyes with his hand before offering Keith a slightly watery smile. “It’s good to finally meet you face to face Keith. I’m Shiro,” His voice was strained as he offered his hand to shake, which Keith immediately clasped. _

_ “Nice to mee- wait a second, how do you know my name?” _

_ The man’s - no, Shiro’s smile turned serious and his shoulders slumped, “Keith,” He started softly with no preamble, “I was your Guardian Angel when you were alive.” _

_ Keith blinked. What? _

_ His mind was blank, he couldn’t process what Shiro was telling him. “When I was alive? Are you saying I’m dead?” _

_ When Shiro didn’t answer, his lips pursed, Keith knew the answer. He tried to think back to- to what? When he was alive? To- to something? There was nothing, a completely blank slate. _

_ He couldn’t remember. His name was Keith, the man in front of him was Shiro, and they were both dead, that was as far as he knew. _

_ It was a weird feeling. Keith didn’t yell, didn’t shout, didn’t bargain to go back. What’s done was done, even if he had no idea what had happened. _

_ “Oh.” _

_ Shiro sat down next to him, “You can’t remember anything?” His tone made it clear that Shiro already knew Keith’s train of thought, and knew what was happening. He turned to face Keith with a small smile on his face, more placating than anything. “Your memories will start to come back shortly, though they might be slightly spotty, you’ll just need to trigger them somehow. You’ll be fine Keith, I know you will.” _

_ His voice was so level, so assured, so sincere that Keith couldn’t help but believe it. _

_ Shiro stood back up and swallowed, before reaching a hand down to Keith, who grabbed it once more without hesitation. He watched in stunned silence as Shiro slowly unfurled  _ wings _ , huge things the colour of clouds before light rain, the most expressive grey he had ever seen, or at least, what he thought he had ever seen. _

_ Shiro must have seen Keith’s reaction because he smiled a proud and satisfied grin, “You have them too, you know.” _

_ Keith immediately whips around only to get a face full of feather, spitting vanes from his suddenly dry mouth. He couldn’t help but gape in awe as he brought it around to touch, beautiful, strong black wings. _

_ The grin Keith gave Shiro was devilishly wicked. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, little thing to get outta the way.
> 
> I have no goddamn clue what I'm talking about anytime i bring up bikes. Nada, zilch, n o n e. I'm completely guessing 1000% of the time I bring them up and I regret having it as a major plot point of this story, so I don't even know if a death like that has any merit or credibility to it.
> 
> Second of all! Keith's death, and the events leading up to it, aren't special at all, it was just a regular day for everyone, and for Keith as well, and I wanted to reflect that anything could happen at any time, so I hope i did alright with that! 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you all so much for the support you have been showing me I am so blessed to have you all here, and I don't think words can purvey how appreciative I am for every single one of you! I love you all so much. Thank you and here's to 2018!
> 
> I'll probs be taking a small break, I have family coming over for New Year's, as well as general stuff I need to do, I'll most likely be back in a fortnight!! See you then!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of a huge-ass flashback, plus ta da! Plot progression!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2019!! I am back with my usual bullshit!!
> 
> Sorry I've been away for a while, my grandparents came to visit on new years and only left about a week ago, and i didn't write or plan or anything because i wanted to spend as much time with them as i could.
> 
> But then like 3 days ago, 4 days ago? -- I kinda injured one of my fingers hell badly, and its only very recently that i can actually type on it without too much pain!! Improvement amiright!! But yeah! my 2019 has been both the most boring but the most intense i stg its been weird yall. But anyway, thought about the s8 ending, decided 'fuck that' so i will be continuing not only this fan fic but writing other vld fics in the future! like, idk if any yall would like to read them or are even interested, but i thought id share anyway :')
> 
> How many people are even left in this fandom anyway? I mean, i cant see myself escaping vld for a while tbh

Despite being an angel for only a fraction of the time he had spent as a human, life as he was now seemed better, in fact, the only downside he could see was that his passing had left his dad alone. But even that would change, given enough time. He’d talk to his father again one day.

The sky was golden as Keith sat and watched the sunset. Or rather, he had been  watching the sunset, but something more interesting had stolen his attention. He watched in awe as he stretched out one of his wings, watching with rapt attention at every movement of his new joints, and every flutter of his feathers. The feeling so new, but strangely in no way foreign. They felt  _ right _ , and he felt near complete. Their coloring, dark as midnight yet warm as a loving embrace. And despite his disposition, he would like to think that’s who he was reflected into tangibility.

“Hey Keith, you doing okay?” Shiro’s sudden voice caused Keith to jolt, and his wing to snap back to its folded position. Shiro’s voice was amused as the older angel came over to where he was seated.

Keith smiled softly, imagining the view Shiro had from behind him, some fool playing with their wings, something that probably seemed completely natural to Shiro, yet was so fresh and raw and new for Keith. “Yeah I’m great - you scared me,” Keith shuffled over to the left slightly, indicating he could sit if he wanted.

“Ah,” He made a weak noise of affirmation, “Sorry Keith, I just… wanted to talk?” Shiro’s voice was hesitant yet sturdy, an odd combo on anyone else’s tongue, yet it seemed to oddly work for Shiro.

“Shoot.”

A silence overtook the pair, lingering faintly in the air before Shiro coughed awkwardly, “Sorry, this is kinda weird for me right now, I’ve been by your side for most of your life.”

Keith’s hands fiddled in his lap, “That must have been... hard, I’m sorry.”

“That’s not what I meant Keith,” His voice was soft, and Keith couldn’t help but meeting Shiro’s eyes.

“All those years I had watched you, tried to guide you, but I never once spoke to you aside from whispers when you were young, you called me your best friend when you were still a young kid, of course, no one around you believed you when you said you had a pretty bird man as a friend.” Shiro chuckled slightly, probably within the throes of his own memories.

Blood rushed into Keith’s cheeks and he coughed in embarrassment, “I uh- I don’t remember that.”

“No,” Shiro smiled, “You were only really very young, when Guardians are allowed to guide their humans, we act as a secondary conscience when our charge is still young, and erase ourselves from their memory when they no longer need us.”

“So you’ve really been there my whole life?”

“Not all of it, there are pockets of time larger than I would care to admit that I couldn't be at your side, time that I’ve needed to recharge, mostly while you were asleep, but not always.” Shiro was taller than Keith, even sitting down, and Keith stared up into Shiro’s eyes, the realisation that the man in front of him had  _ been there for him _ , and had guided him despite him not even remembering it.

“Thank you, Shiro,” He found himself saying, his voice heavy, but he couldn’t bring himself to wrap his arms around him like Shiro did the first time they met, although Keith figured this was a good start.

“You don’t have to thank me Keith.”

Keith hummed thoughtfully, before silence filled the air once more, although this silence, unlike its predecessor, was comforting, without any expectation between the pair.

“Hey Shiro?”

Shiro looked over to Keith, a sure sign to continue.

“I heard that you can become a Guardian to your soulmate?”

Keith heard Shiro chuckle quietly before clearing his throat, “I had a feeling you were going to ask something like that. You can, and if you’re chosen to be your Guardian, no matter if they’re your soulmate, you should feel it,” Shiro leant over and tapped Keith lightly in the centre of his chest before continuing, “You follow your heart. But Keith,” Keith twisted a little where he sat, to ease the slight crick that was forming in his neck, who knew dead people still got cricks?

“If you do get your soulmate, whatever you do, don’t touch them simply because you want to. That's one of the only rules still enforced here. The only contact you and your soulmate can have is to enter their dreams during sleep, or to protect them. The rules are harsher for you guys because you’re soulmates. You  _ will _ be punished.” Shiro’s voice became softer, more rounded around the edges, gentle but still said with force, “Don’t do it Keith.”

Keith raised an eyebrow, “Why would I touch him if I would be punished for it?”  He asked dryly. Shiro just sucked his lips into his mouth and looked away innocently, trying to hide a chuckle. Keith found a smirk on his face and elbowed Shiro in the side playfully.

 

* * *

 

Keith’s days and nights had been overtaken with learning to fly, and once he mastered that, he flew everywhere he could. Dips and twists and free falls so precarious that even the most daring of humans wouldn’t attempt, after all, what’s going to happen? You can’t die twice.

Keith reveled in that thought alone as he tucked in his wings and felt himself fall through a cloud, the ends of his hair wet with water when he shot his wings out to stop his fall. Slowing down he took joy in the slight rises the thermal currents gave him. Of course if he were a bird he could take full advantage of them, but he needed no help soaring the sky.

When he finally felt it he jolted slightly. The feeling was warmth. His whole body was just a fraction too warm. It seemed to spread through his limbs the further he flew.

Warmer, warmer,  _ hotter _ , he swerved in the sky and landed on a rooftop to try figure it out, but his body got hotter still.

It was almost uncomfortable, and Keith racked his brain, could Angel’s get ill?

They couldn’t right? He didn’t think so. Keith’s eyes widened. It couldn’t be?

Could it?

He felt himself slip through the roof, his feet hitting the timber flooring with a slight thud that only he could hear. Warmer.

He followed his body until he reached a door when his body confirmed his feeling. All the heat in his body seemed to centre into his soulmark, and Keith grinned. This was his soulmate, just beyond this door. He was about to meet his soulmate. He was the  _ Guardian _ to his  _ soulmate _ . A door had never before felt so much like a wall.

He walked through the door, just in case the door creaked if he were to open it. Keith shivered, he really wasn’t used to walking through things. He still thought he’d walk right into it and closed his eyes everytime he phased through a solid object.

The room was small, painted a pale cornflower with a cot resting on the far wall, and Keith could hear the small shallow breaths of an infant. His soulmate.

His _ soulmate  _ holy fuck. He so desperately wanted to move his feet, but they were rooted to the ground in wonder. Wonder? Or was it nervousness?

All his life and even beyond that, he had always been the odd one out, watching everyone around of them meet their soulmates, but not Keith. Never Keith. Keith had stayed quiet in life, shrugged off his dad’s questions and played along to his light hearted teasing with pain behind his smile. He had always been ‘Keith the loner’ or ‘Keith the recluse’, he was so distant from others because he watched and observed everyone, seeing the budding beginnings of the fairy tales of his classmates, of seemingly everyone around him.

But never him.

Keith had always been dying to meet his soulmate, he had just never actually expected that to happen.

When his limbs finally decided to listen to him he moved closer to peer over the lip of the cot, and as soon as he saw the boy with caramel hair and skin to match the heat vanished, instead replaced by a soothing cool that rushed through his veins alongside his joy.

Keith was floored at how  _ cute _ the child was. He gripped the crib with both hands, his knuckles vaguely white in colour as his hair flopped into his vision, but he continued to stare at the boy in complete awe. He was entirely entranced by the child, the ray of light that was no doubt the best thing that had ever happened to Keith. His eyes trailed to the blanket, also blue, and clutched in tiny fists, for the first time noticing the gold stitching that ran along its side.

Lance.  The boy’s name was Lance.

He couldn’t help reach into the cot, and while Keith had never had much experience with babies, he had never understood them, and was always wary of them because he had no idea what to do. Well, he didn’t think he had much contact, his memory of any infants he came into contact with while he was alive was still erased from his memory, but even  _ he _ knew the head had to be supported.

He cradled Lance in his arms, and burst into a wide grin when the baby wearily blinked open his eyes to stare at Keith.

Blue and deep and unwavering.

Lance grabbed a foot and stuffed it into his mouth, a happy gurgle spilling out. He broke into a toothless smile at Keith from around his toes, who quickly released a hand to tuck some of his hair behind his ears, though it instantly fell back in front of his eyes.

He smiled goofily at the baby, who let out another happy gurgle, and Keith felt like crying from happiness when Lance’s hand came up to grasp the fallen lock of his hair, “Hello Lance,” His voice was small and choked, but Lance seemed to understand, stilling slightly in his arms and staring widely at the Angel who held him in his arms.

Keith rocked Lance gently, taking in his comforting weight as he lovingly cradled the boy in his arms.

It was only when Lance farted wetly that he placed him back down into his cot, in fears that that was only the entree.

The next morning came like last night had been a dream. Keith was struggling to find his glasses. They were little more to him than glorified reading glasses in his mind, but he’d lost them, misplaced them somewhere, and he needed them back.

Maybe he left them in Lance’s nursery? Well if that was the case he’d need to duck down and fetch them before his Mother came in and thought there was a human prowler.

Gathering his thoughts he went to leave for Lance’s and was shocked to find that he couldn’t. He  _ couldn’t _ . It was like there was an invisible wall separating him from the human world.

Keith tried breaking the wall for what seemed like hours, fruitlessly slamming himself into it in hopes that on one of his attempts he’d miraculously make it through.

He couldn’t. Oh how he longed for a door.

Shiro’s words came haunting back, almost mockingly,  _ “Whatever you do, don’t touch him”, _ and suddenly Keith’s whole world seemed to crumble around him. This was his punishment. The council knew what he had done.

Keith’s life descended, becoming restrictive and cut off from everything not unlike how he used to be. He barely left his dwelling, and the choked explanation to Shiro certainly didn’t help things. The shame Keith had felt, he had expected Shiro to yell, to get angry, but he spoke calmly, not once raising his voice. Keith didn’t deserve it. Shiro had specifically told him, and he had done it anyway.

Keith’s life, having adjusted to life as he was now, after years and years of flying and happiness, who now couldn’t even leave and do what made him happy? Who he couldn’t see after a lifetime and a bit of waiting? He had never felt more...more… he didn’t even know the word that could describe what he was feeling. Rage, shame, utter hopelessness didn’t fully portray it.

It felt like rage but with the coldness of sadness, reaching the tips of his fingers and spreading like white hot flames throughout every inch of his body.

After what had felt like a small eternity but was only a year to humans if he did the maths right, he emerged from his dwelling without a clear goal in mind, watching Angel’s around him go about their duties with a smile, some waved and smiled, which he returned awkwardly, others just inclined their heads coolly, which he found easier to return.

What he wasn’t expecting was the small Angel behind Shiro. He was around Keith’s height and Keith could vaguely remember seeing him around the place, but had never taken an avid interest in him.

He raised an eyebrow in Shiro’s direction, obviously  _ he _ had.

Keith had never thought Shiro could blush as red as he did. The tall, wide man with scars littering his body having a full facial blush? One of those things was not like the others despite making a lovely picture, and Keith found a small smile filter onto his face, instantly understanding what had happened. Shiro had finally found his soulmate. And he was extremely happy for the pair of them, Shiro in particular, who had spent centuries without his soulmate, always missing him.  

Shiro had told him of his elusive soulmate, having never once reincarnated, and judging from what Keith could ascertain from his persona without actually asking any deep questions, Keith couldn’t say he blamed him. He preferred death over life himself. He hoped to spend all of eternity with the familiar weight of his wings on his back, and dearly hoped that one day Lance would feel the same, when he inevitably joined him, and it pained Keith to think that even if Lance chose lifetime after lifetime, that Keith would remain, watching and waiting. It sounded quite pathetic when he put it that way.

He hoped to remain by Lance’s side up in the clouds, forever frolicking in the wind and free to roam for all time.

So perhaps if he was to ever be reincarnated, he would hope Lance would find him, so that their cycle could continue, forever intertwined with each others.

He wanted to be able to explore the world he had known in his own time, and to thoroughly immerse himself without any expectation.

Shiro had spent centuries waiting for his soulmate, Matt, as he would be introduced. Unknowingly Matt had led the both of them on a game of cat and mouse that lasted longer than either of them could have possibly imagined. The pair of them constantly just missing each other in life, death and reincarnation.

Matt was a great guy, and before Keith had consciously realised it, the angel had wormed his way into his circle, and Keith found himself increasingly comfortable around him.

But there were times were Keith was ashamed to say he envied the pair of them. He would watch as Matt would cover Shiro with a wing, and how Shiro would jolt as a blush covered his features and Matt would cover his mouth to suppress a chuckle. Or how even in basic conversation Shiro would gently tug one of Matt’s wings to the front to preen. It was the little acts of love that made him feel the loneliest. Barred away from his own soulmate and had to watch the two closest to him have the happiness the deserved.

It was that happiness that spurred Keith to try break through the wall again with increased fervour. He wasn’t expecting it the day he finally fell through. And he  _ literally _ fell through. He had gone to rest his head on the wall he couldn’t see, but definitely felt judging by the constant bruise on his shoulder, but instead falling straight through, to his utter shock, that he forgot to use his wings, slightly stiff from the lack of use, only to remember to spread them halfway to the ground.

He’d been chosen as a Guardian again!

He could see Lance again!

 

* * *

Keith smiled as he reminisced. Lance had made such a cute baby. It had torn Keith apart when he had lived it, being separated, but seeing as how he ended up, he was here, by Lance’s side, and despite how things had turned out, he’s glad that he didn’t choose reincarnation the day that he was locked away, although the thought had barely crossed the depths of his mind. It would have only postponed everything, and who knew by how many decades, centuries even, it would have taken to get this close again?

He had to resolved himself, and he felt his brow furrow. He would do this, and he would be the best goddamn Guardian/ Soulmate ever.

Keith sat on the end of Lance’s bed and preened his feathers, fingers deftly running through the inky vanes, waiting for morning.

In the end, it was Lance’s Mother that awoke them both, with Keith having nodded off sometime during the night. Keith rarely slept, not overly needing it anymore, but he supposed it was still a great way to pass the time. Angels recharged by simply being in the vicinity of other angels.

Lance was first to rise, and fumbled around to get dressed and rushed outside, slamming his door in the process, there was someone downstairs for him? Keith shoved himself off Lance’s bed with more strength than was necessary, yet still managing to land gracefully right in front of the door.

Looking at Lance from the top of stairs, he mentally noted that even though Lance hadn’t even looked at what he had been throwing on, that his outfit matched and so did both of his socks, a feat that Keith had never accomplished (that he could remember anyway).

The only giveaway that he wasn’t as put together as he seemed was his hair, wavy locks that lay unstraightened and an air of false bravado. Lance was probably grateful that he was busy from the second he woke, so as to not have to mull over what had happened the night previous.

Keith trudged down the stairs as Lance disappeared into the kitchen, mildly curious as to who it was. He followed in the younger boys footsteps, and his eyes widened at the occupied table.

Lotor, Allura, Pidge and Hunk were all sitting sharing conversations between themselves, that all came to an abrupt halt as soon as Lance entered the room.

“‘Sup,” A small wave from Hunk as Pidge stifled a laugh.

“Were you still in bed?” She asked.

Lance looked at her with tired yet humoured eyes, “It’s still early morning Pidge, and besides,” Lance shrugged dramatically with a mock suffered sigh, “I need my beauty sleep.”

“Lance it’s midday.”

Lance whipped his head back to look at the clock that rested just above the doorway, and lo and behold, the clock read twelve ten. He looked at them, and in an effort to get the attention off himself, asked, “How are you even here?”

Allura cleared her throat slightly, reminding the group of her presence, “Lotor and I were going to drop past and see how you were doing, and when I asked Pidge what your address was, she insisted the pair of them come with us.”

Lance was still trying to take the attention off himself, and was starting to visibly fail, “You don’t know my address? How co-”

“Lance I’ve never visited you before.”

Lance seemed to deflate, and the group fell silent before Lotor spoke for the first time, “I wanted to see how you were doing, and offer my apologies again.”

Lotor looked remorseful over actions that weren’t entirely his doing, and Lance seemed to be on the same wavelength as Keith as he threw his hands forward in placation, “Oh no no no no no,” He rushed out quickly, “It was my fault.”

Lotor opened his mouth to respond, before closing it, not really knowing how to respond, instead shifting in his seat. Lance seemed to notice Lotor’s expression, as he bit his lip, “Wait, can I speak with you for a sec?” His eyes darted between the others at the table, “Privately? If that’s okay?” Lance shot Pidge and Hunk a look, but the pair shrugged. Keith noticed Allura’s small, private smile as she stood alongside Lotor, moving over to the side, “I’ll see if I can make us some tea?” She moved fluidly over to the kettle and spun on her heel to face Pidge and Hunk, her eyes flicking briefly to her soulmate’s retreating figure.

“Thanks! Milk and five sugars please!” Was Pidge insane? Or just trying to sweeten up her personality personally? Hunk’s eyes bulged, and he opened his mouth before Allura’s stern but fond voice did so first, “Two sugars.”

“Three!”

Allura narrowed her eyes in good humour before conceding, “Fine.”

“One and a half sugars for me thanks,” Hunk said, and Allura nodded before leaving the room, probably in search of the Mcclain matriarch to ask where the cups were.

Keith shook his hair out of his eyes, musing that he really needed it cut, it was in his eyes more often than not, but sat in Lance’s discarded chair, thankfully pulled out.

He watched as Pidge and Hunk kept their eyes on the doorway Allura left through, making sure she was gone? Why?

Pidge started to rummage through her backpack, Hunk keeping a firm eye on the two doors that Lance and Lotor went through, and where Allura disappeared.

“Are we really doing this?” Hunk asked, his eyes still gazing over to the entrance to the kitchen.

“Yup,” replied the small girl as she finally wrenched… a paddle?- from the depths of her bag. Keith’s eyes widened. That was no paddle. That was a planchette that Ouija boards used.  Pidge leaned forward toward the middle of the table and started to whisper, “Hey Keith, we know you’re here buddy.”

“H-How? _What!_ _How can you know?_ ” Keith rushed out, leaning forward to grip the table tightly, but when Pidge nor Hunk regarded him he realised they couldn’t actually see him nor hear him. Although that didn’t change the deep furrows on his brow.

What was going on? Did Lance know about this?

“We have an idea about your little situation, come swing by mine on Saturday… or follow Lance I guess the result will be the same. We wanna have a little chat.” She continued seamlessly, and waved the paddle before chucking it back into her bag.

What the _ fuck?  _ He wanted to kick himself, he was interested. “Now before they all come back in, we need to know if you’re on board. Tap our shoulders twice if your in and once if your not.”

Hunk gasped at Pidge before erupting into a flood of speech, “Wait tap both our shoulders why can’t he only tap yours?”

“We need to make sure.”

Hunk started to retort, but Keith was honest to god considering it. This had never been part of the plan, be even he had to admit having Lance’s best friends on his side to support both him and Lance would be a great asset.

He was interrupted from his reverie when Hunk quietly asked, “So is that a no?”

“Give the guy a sec, then we’ll see.”

Keith had so many questions tumbling around his head, and this was also the only way to get them answered. And what the hell, he could always alter their memories if the worst came to pass, and although he had never altered memories of that scale before, it shouldn’t be that hard right? He took in a deep breath as he leant over the table, and tapped them succinctly on the shoulders twice, already regretting the smile that overtook Pidge’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, thats kinda... not only the lead up to what kickstarted the plot, but also a lead in to the 2nd part of this fic!! Well, i mean, kinda, next chapters the one that kinda finishes this arc before leading onto the next arc, which is about exactly what you're thinking about ;)
> 
> Glad to be back! Leave a comment, make me laugh, make me cry, tell me what you liked and what you hated!! <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, a little bit of a shorter chapter this week. I'm under the pump this week and haven't been able to get my shit sorted, plus its kinda a filler chapter setting up the next chapter. Hope next week will be different!

The more Keith thought about it, the more he was convincing himself it was a bad idea. And it probably, most likely  was, but he really didn’t want to think about that. He could feel it, he  _ knew _ something was going to go wrong and he would freak and make it ten times worse, how did he know? Well that’s what always happened. Keith would be genuinely surprised if this little venture didn’t end in disaster.

He watched blankly as both Pidge and Hunk sipped their tea innocently, tea that Allura had brought in before promptly leaving once more in favour of conversation with the Lance’s Mother. Keith had vacated Lance’s seat, for Lance would probably be coming back any second now and while Lance wouldn’t feel anything amiss as he sat back down in his chair, Keith’s would be seeing a very different view. He let his spine rest on the corner of the room, letting his wings rest behind him naturally and crossed his arms, assessing his situation, when his main situation traipsed back into the room, seemingly as fine as he was when he left, Lotor following behind, head held high and jaw slightly clenched, what had happened? Keith hadn’t listened in for regards to a semblance of privacy. But something had happened that Lance didn’t want everyone else knowing about. Unfortunately for Lance, Keith knew his face as well as his own.

He flicked the hair out of his eyes. When did everything become such a spiders web? Everything used to be so simple. Now look where he’d gotten himself. Lance was constantly looking over his shoulder, Pidge and Hunk somehow knew that he existed, and what was worse, wanted to contact him. In front of Lance.

Oh this was going to go brilliantly for sure.

Was it even allowed? Contact like this? Would he be breaking some sort of rule that he didn’t even knew existed? But another thought niggled in Keith’s brain. He needed absolute confirmation, and the support of his friends. And the only way that could happen was if he and his friends knew exactly what was going on.

It wasn’t like Keith had taken lessons on how to be an Angel, let alone a Guardian. He still stumbled, and still got himself into situations that he had no idea how to deal with. Like this one.

But there could be no more secrets about who Keith was, and what he was to Lance. Well, except the soulmate thing, that was… a whole other can of worms that shouldn’t be opened for some time yet.

Keith brought a thumb up to his lips, coming to a resolution as he bit it gently. Okay. He sighed and closed his eyes as he heard Lance begin to usher everyone out. The door closed with a soft click and he heard Lance’s deep exhale and his thumping his back up again the closed door.

Why couldn’t things have been easier? Why did they have to dance around each other like this?

 

* * *

 

Keith stayed out of Lance’s mindscape like he used to what felt like so long ago, his presence only felt in the winds of Lance’s dreams. He would sit in Lance’s room and re-read books that were spilling out of his bookshelf, and sit atop the roof to feel closer to the stars.

The wind in his hair was nice and cool as he stared out into the inky expanse above him.

He would spend hours like this, letting the world melt away until it was only him and the stars. He hummed songs that his mother used to sing him, although he had probably forgotten most of it over time, replacing melodies with what he thought they were. He let the faux routine carry them into the weekend, and both Lance and Keith felt weariness in their bones.

Pidge’s room was, in a word, cluttered. Bookshelves filled with textbooks and previous school paperwork having a separate self to her personal literature. It smelled like old books and the frangipani she had scattered around her room.

It wasn’t an unknown place for Keith by far, who rather enjoyed taking up residence sitting on her wooden wardrobe with a leg hanging off the side while the humans chattered beneath him.

This time however, as Lance slung his overnight bag next to Hunk’s at the foot of Pidge’s bed, Keith had plonked himself on the floor facing Pidge’s mirror.

Keith’s reflection amused him. He wasn’t quite used to it still, even after all these years. He could see himself sure, but not enough that he could actually recognise himself. All he could see was the faintest of outlines, tinged with red and mottled colours that he assumed was him proper.

He dragged a hand through his hair as he heard Matt and Pidge’s Guardian, an eccentric man by the name of Coran, stroll languidly into the room, and tried to suppress his groan.

One by themselves Keith could deal with, but both of them at once? Hell no. There was just too much energy.

“Oh Keith!” Coran greeted jovially with a polite wave when he spotted the smaller Angel, and Matt snickered.

“We’re gonna leave you alone tonight, we just wanted to tell you instead of just never rocking up.”

Keith felt the tensions that had unknowingly built up relax. Fuck yes, Keith had been so worried they were going to sit in and laugh at Keith from the sidelines, well, Matt laugh more than Coran. “Thanks guys,” He breathed out as a small appreciative grin overtook his features.

“No problem! I know all about the throes of the heart!” Coran tapped his nose twice cryptically with a wink, and Keith’s brow furrowed in confusion, but he ignored it.

Matt bent on one leg to ruffle Keith’s hair, eliciting a yelp from the smaller angel, but the other  just chuckled, “Make sure to give Katie a scare will you?” 

Keith nodded, hand reached up to fiddle with his hair in an effort to try fix whatever Matt had tried to fuck up. He had never been able to leave Keith’s hair alone. It was no secret that he wasn’t a huge fan of Keith’s current ‘do. But Keith couldn’t help but smile at Matt’s antics as the other whistled as he left the room once more, Coran in tow with a wave of goodbye which Keith tried to return, but he didn’t think Coran saw it.

He turned his attention back to the humans, Pidge had left the room and had returned with a big inconspicuous box on her hip which Keith had to assume housed the actual ouija board and shuddered. He hated those things, and this was how he was meant to talk?

If he was desperate enough he could physically appear in front of hem, but who knows what hell that would unleash, not only from the trio before him but from his higher ups as well.

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” Lance pointed at the box with distrust as he voiced both his and Keith’s unease.

Pidge, having taken in Lance’s obviously hesitant stance, grinned widely as she locked eyes with him, “Not a clue!”

_ “What?!” _ Lance shrieked as Keith’s eyes bugged, “You could curse us all!

Great! No one in the room knew how to use the board that gave Keith the heebie-jeebies. Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant.

Pidge rolled her eyes as she took the board out of the box and made emphasis on putting the planchette on the board making sure to let the slight clack reverberate through the now quiet room, causing the hairs on Keith’s arms to rise. “What?” She goaded, “Like you could apparently get cursed any further.” Her shit eating grin stank.

Keith felt a chill come over him and shivered at the thought of using that. He had heard stories of angels that didn’t really care for their human playing tricks looking for a laugh, or wardless wandering angels feeling the pull of the board and trying to reach out.

There was… _ something _ , about the boards that drew angels in, and Keith didn’t know what it was. No one did. All the Angels Keith had met despised ouija boards. Some Angels thought it was created by a soulmate pair not unlike Lance and himself, an angel and a human, and that it was used to communicate secretly, although nothing could be assumed further than that.

Keith couldn’t understand why a soulmate pair would feel the need to create such a tool. Communication via dreams would work perfectly, especially if both Angel and human were fine with the arrangement.

Keith sat forward and kicked a leg out on the floor as the three humans huddled around the board, a queasy feeling settling in his stomach, he shouldn’t go near it. Stay away!

He knew he was about to make a bad choice, his gut was hardly ever wrong. But he was about to do it anyway. Like a  _ dumbass _ .

“Is there an instruction manual anywhere?” Hunk asked as he rummaged through Pidge’s discarded backpack. Lance scoffed.

“Ah yes, an instruction booklet on how to talk to the dead! Very informative, 10/10 read.” Lance said, looking at the innocently sitting planchette warily.

Hunk shrunk back slightly and a small frown appeared on his features, “Well when you put it that way,” Hunk trailed off, before looking around the room.

“I don’t think we’ll need it, “ Pidge plonked herself on the ground in between Hunk and Lance, “I have  a feeling we’ll be very lucky tonight, finding this demon of yours.”

Lance’s reaction was immediate as he started to shriek, “That’s what we’re doing?! I thought we were trying to contact the  _ nice _ ghosts!”

Pidge’s face was deadpan, “Lance I love you but you’re a dumbass sometimes, who else has a juicy story of a ghost-like demon following you of course we’re gonna try to contact it.”

“Pidge!”

Lance dragged his hand down his face in a very  _ Keith _ -like fashion if the Angel’s word held any merit. “You are… unbelievable. If you get cursed it’s not my fault!” He shimmied himself away from the board.

“Don’t be like this Lance, what if we find out what your demon wants?” Hunk asked, his voice warm but also hiding what both Lance and Keith knew to be fear.

“Put your fingers on the planchette Lance,” Pidge’s voice was dry and the small girl was utterly fearless.

“If I die I’m blaming you.” Lance’s thin fingers made their way onto the outermost edge of the planchette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do appreciate every comment and kudos that I'm given, and it really makes my day heaps better.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whats that i smell? Plot progression? Addressing a minor plot hole? No, it cant be!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I think I'm a day or so late but I've been so tired recently ahhhh.
> 
> Its too hot i swear my skin is melted i cant deal with this h e a t.

Keith, like the others in the room, had absolutely no idea what to actually  _ do _ . Was he meant to move the little planchette? He frowned slightly at his own unknowing as Lance whispered rapidly to Pidge, his voice more breath than anything. 

“You said you had no idea what to do?”

Pidge shrugged as she teased her friend through a shit eating grin, “Not a clue, but what’s better than some hands on testing?”

Lance yelped and pointed to the board with a splayed hand, “With this?! Everything!”

Pidge’s roll of the eyes seemed a bigger action than what they really were, “Oh hush you big baby everything’ll be fine.”

Seeking to garner support from his other best friend, from the responsible mum-friend that wouldn’t let any silly shenanigans bullshit their way into reality, Lance pleaded to Hunk, “Hunk, my buddy, my pal, you have to agree with me right?”

Hunk looked between Lance and Pidge, maintaining eye contact and receiving a smooth wink from the smaller girl and raised his arms up in placation, “Sorry Lance, but I think Pidge’s right?”

“Why does that sound more like a question than anything else!” Lance’s voice was strained and high, and Keith couldn’t help but feel a snippet of pity for his soulmate. But also being the person that they were trying to contact, and Lance’s blatant hesitance squashed any and all pity. But even he had to admit he wasn’t sure of this idea, and  looked between the trio blankly, unsure of his role and what he was meant to do.

Pidge hooted in victory before she reached for the planchette. “Do I put my- Or do I just speak?”  She looked to Hunk for guidance, completely ignoring Lance’s sputters from next to her.

Hunk shrugged, also ignoring Lance, “Maybe we should start by saying hello? See if anyones actually here first?”

Pidge hummed in assent and adjusted her leg, crossing them applesauce style, her knees fluttering in excitement. Keith shifted his gaze over to Lance, who had become oddly quiet. His eyes were closed and his lips were moving soundlessly. A prayer? He had never been one for believing in the paranormal, the complete opposite of Keith in life, but even Keith had to admit he had never had his boundaries of his perceived reality pushed as far as Lance right now.

He couldn’t blame Lance right now, Keith would have been terrified if he didn’t believe in anything he couldn’t see, like angels and supposed demons, breaking that boundary between recurring dream and something real would have shaken Keith. Or at least, he could only assume. Any sort of confirmation, resolute confirmation might do Lance a world of good. Keith had always been envious of Lance’s ability to adapt to any situation he was thrown into… well, most situations anyway.

He shook his head, forcefully trying to keep his mind off of Lance as much as he could.

“Uh… What should I say?” Pidge spoke to herself more than anyone else, before raising her voice to extend to the whole room, “Hello spirits?” She looked down to Hunk for confirmation.

Hunk shrugged again, “I dunno, maybe a little ‘how are you goin’? Hope you’re doing well’?”

Pidge nodded once before looking back up to address the room, “Yeah! What the big guy just said.”

Keith opened his mouth to physically reply before almost hitting himself. He needed to move the planchette. He still wasn’t used to not being heard when spoken to. The only people that spoke to him he could reply back to. Shiro, Matt, Coran, and Lance in his dreams. Despite his invisibility to humans, he wasn’t used to the communication barrier between them as much as he should be.

He crawled forward slightly, fitting in between Lance and Hunk nicely across from Pidge. He leaned forward and brushed his hand over the planchette lightly. He could still back out. His hand shook slightly.

No. He’d come this far and there’s no way in hell he was backing out now. He hooked his right index finger into the middle of the planchette and began to smoothly drag it toward ‘hello’, making sure to keep his eyes firmly trained on the humans in front of him.

He shouldn’t rush this, right? Move it too fast and freak them all out (bar Pidge, the girl was fearless). He had to go slow then.

Hunk’s face scrunched into fear first, probably not having expected anything to happen to quickly, before catching Pidge’s widening grin and his face relaxed,  _ he  _ knew what was happening, and that he shouldn’t be letting unnecessary fear cloud his judgement, although, Keith mused as an afterthought,  it could be helpful in convincing Lance.

The boy in question had paled considerably and his eyes were wide with fear, his arms shaking slightly, his voice clipped. “Hunk are you moving it at all?”

Keith released the planchette once it was placed firmly on the ‘hello’ section of the board before sitting back on his haunches, biting his lip.

Hunk shook his head, “That wasn’t me.”

At this point Lance’s eyes grew wider, which honestly surprised Keith, who had thought they could bug no further. Well look at that, he learned new things about his soulmate everyday.

Pidge’s voice was giddy and almost a laugh, almost as if she was trying to speak around bubbles of air that had grown in her chest, “Let’s find out who that was, wanna give us a name please?”

Keith shook his head with a slight smirk that he tried and failed to smooth away as he leaned forward once again to move the planchette slowly and carefully. Up to the K. To the E. To the I. T. H.

It was agonisingly slow going and the quiet scratch of the planchette scraping across the board was loud on Keith’s sensitive hearing juxtaposed with the silence of the room around them. As soon as Keith had finished his name, Lance let go of the planchette as if it was on fire, backing himself away from the board.

He held his clasped hands close to his chest as he started to breath heavily, his shaking hands starting to betray just how scared he was. “Keith,” He whispered, and Keith hated the rush of warmth that blossomed at Lance simply saying his name. But Lance didn’t have to work through this alone. He was surrounded by people that loved him and will continue to work for as long as it would take for Lance to feel comfortable.

“Hello Keith! How are you? Actually no,  _ what _ are you first of all?”

Keith rolled his eyes at Pidge’s theatrics. It was obvious the girl was ecstatic that her plan had actually worked, and her face showed that she was going to take full advantage of her discovery.

When he started to move the planchette again, slightly faster, Pidge grabbed a notebook from behind her to take down what Keith was writing, and now only Hunk’s fingers rested on it while Lance stared on, his face stony and his lips pursed as he hugged himself tighter.

G-U-A-R-D-I-A-N.

He took a break, getting increasingly frustrated at the slow going nature of spelling out his words.

A-N-G-E-L.

Keith flicked his eyes between Lance and the board, trying to read his soulmate, but to his surprise, he couldn’t. He was shutting everyone out. His face was stony and unreadable, even to Keith. That hardly ever happened, and Keith had no idea what Lance was thinking.

“Hunk, do you wanna ask a question next?”

“Huh?” Hunk turned to Pidge, his brow raised slightly, “Oh yeah sure. What should I ask? Is there like, things you can and can’t ask? Can you see my future? When am I gonna die? How did  _ you _ die?”

Keith’s fingers hesitated for a moment, a little taken aback. He had never actually been asked that before. How he died. Shiro had seen it happen, and had presumably told Matt, which Keith didn’t mind, Matt was one of Keith’s closest friends, and besides,  it wasn’t a huge secret anyway.

It felt weird though. It wasn’t normally a question asked in regular conversation. ‘Oh what's your favorite colour and how did you die?’ Not the type of question you ask over Sunday brunch. However, just because it wasn’t suitable for conservative conversation, didn’t mean that Keith didn’t mind talking about it. And although reliving it wasn’t fun, and imagining Lance in those situations was a different story entirely, it was still his past, and no matter how ashamed of it he was, not that that was the truth, it was still apart of him just as much as the shape of his eyes and colour of his hair. Everyone had to die, and that’s just how it happened. Wasn’t a really big deal from where he was standing.

Hunk lifted his hands from the planchette to scratch at his hair and the other rested under his bottom lip in thought when Keith took complete control of the planchette.

C-A-N-T  S-E-E F-U-T-U-R-E.

Lance gasped at the sudden movement on the board, seemingly floating for letter to letter. “What the fuck? How can this be possible?” He leaned forward slightly, unwrapping himself from his own tight embrace to stare in a mixture of fear and curiosity.

Pidge started chuckling, as if this was what she had expected to happen, and Hunk just stared at the planchette before a grin started to make its way onto his lips.

Gauging their reactions, and trying to push Lance out of his comfort zone, Keith started to move it again.

D-O-N-T K-N-O-W  D-E-A-T-H-D-A-T-E.

The group watched with bated breath as Keith fiddled with the planchette, obviously waiting for him to answer the last question. Lance had shuffled forward, his hand covering his mouth, perhaps warming up slightly to something that was a really weird thing to be warming up to. And ouija board moving on its own. But Keith shook his head, shoving those thoughts to the back of his mind as he started to form his last answer.

B-I-K-E A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T.

He heard Lance gasp, and his hands were ripped from his mouth as a question tumbled out of his mouth. “Are you the one I’ve been dreaming of?”

Pidge snickered, “What a romantic question.”

Lance’s face went bright red, and unbeknownst to Pidge, so did Keith’s. He felt his raging blush extend down his neck. Damn body blush. He heard Lance faintly spluttering out a response which Pidge simply laughed off.

He took in a deep breath to try calm himself before he gripped the planchette, his face still very, very warm.

T-O-L-D Y-O-U. N-O-T A D-R-E-A-M L-A-N-C-E.

It was interesting seeing Lance’s walls start to fall and see him become more comfortable with someone that would freak anyone else out. He was communicating to a spirit using an ouija board that no one was touching, the planchette seemingly moving all on its own.

Lance’s ability to adapt came out and hit him full in the face sometimes.

Lance huffed, muttering, “That’s what you say,” under his breath. Pidge and Hunk were grinning wide eyed at Lance and how far he had come in only a few minutes. It seemed unnatural, but it but made Keith smile. The mental fortitude Lance had he envied.

“Then how would you explain the same recurring dream!”

A-N-G-E-L-S C-A-N V-I-S-I-T D-R-E-A-M-S.

“Why would an angel need to visit a dream though?” Hunk piped up.

“Yeah, especially Lance’s dreams. I don’t think anyone wants to see them” Pidge snorted. Lance took a second to get it and stuck out his tongue.

Keith ignored the pair as he moved the planchette once more, noticing that Hunk’s gaze had not left the board, and had plucked Pidge’s notebook out of her hands.

A-D-V-I-C-E. W-A-R-N-I-N-G-S. T-O S-A-Y H-I.

Pidge chuckled into her hand as she read what Hunk had copied down. “And that’s what you did? Said hi? Well that’s worked out excellently for you then,” She teased, shooting a glance in Lance’s direction, and Keith chucked the planchette lightly into Pidge’s lap in a half-assed effort to tease her.

“Oi don’t throw that at me you need it.” She chucked the planchette back onto the board, letting it clatter slightly. Keith grabbed it and swiftly dragged it to where he needed it to go.

S-H-U-T U-P P-I-D-G-E. I T-R-I-E-D.

That simple sentence caused Pidge to break out into loud peals of laughter, gripping her stomach and flopping onto Hunk’s chuckling form. Lance was stuck looking at the planchette, still resting on ‘d’. His brow was furrowed and his mouth was slightly open, ah, that look Keith knew. Contemplative and deep in thought.

“You never wanted to hurt me?” Lance suddenly spoke up, and Pidge and Hunk quietened as Keith hastily grabbed the planchette again, the small object almost being flung out of his reach in his haste.

N-O. N-O-T Y-O-U. N-E-V-E-R Y-O-U.

Lance’s next question was softer, “How do I know for sure?”

Keith rolled his eyes. L-A-N-C-E. He spelled out, slow and deliberately.

“Wow how can that sound so sarcastic?” Hunk asked, and Pidge nodded, the pair wearing matching smiles.

“That’s some serious sarcasm.” Pidge looked up at Lance, “I don’t think you’ll have any more problems.”

“Let’s stick to fixing this mess first.” Hunk spoke up.

“Mess? What mess?”

“Both of you are a mess. If you hadn’t overreacted…” Pidge trailed off, a smirk laying deeply on her features.

“Overreacted? Pidge what was I supposed to think he was?!”

“I would have believed him when he said he was my Guardian Angel that’s for sure.” Bullshit.

“Oh please! Like that would have happened.”

Pidge just raised her brows and looked away and it seemed to slip into place for Keith like a jigsaw puzzle. How she knew about everything. There was no way she would know anything unless she had been speaking to an angel herself. It wouldn’t have been her Guardian, Coran’s tight lipped when he needs to be. So that left Matt.

P-I-D-G-E.

Hunk tapped Pidge’s shoulder. “I think Keith wants to talk to you.”

Pidge hummed and turned her gaze back to the board. “‘Sup?”

Y-O-U M-A-T-T T-A-L-K.

Keith didn’t phrase it like a question. That was what had to be happening. There was no other way Keith could think of.

Pidge had the nerve to rub the back of her neck sheepishly. “Surprise?”  And then Lance and Hunk burst into questions. Questions such as ‘Whose Matt’ and ‘What?!’

H-O-W

Pidge chucked a thumb over her shoulder and gestured to a white board that was propped up in between her bed and her bedside table lazily. “We write notes to each other. Wanna use it?”

Instead of replying, Keith got up and quickly grasped the board and a marker that lay on her bedside table before returning to where he was sat.

Lance and Hunk gaped at the sight of a seemingly floating whiteboard marker and pen, but Keith ignored it, writing out a message much faster than it would have taken him to spell it out on the board. Pidge didn’t even flinch as Keith began to write.

‘You’ve kept in contact with him? How often have you talked?’

He noticed Lance looking at his handwriting, and while not the neatest, was still completely legible.

“As long as I can remember,” She mused and shrugged, “I was only really little when he died, so I grew up with that as normal.”

“Whose Matt?” Lance asked, and Pidge finally answered.

“He was my brother, I don’t have any memories of when he was still alive.”

Keith tapped the edge of the whiteboard to get their attention, three gazes snapping to the board instantly. “That’s really freaky” Lance breathed.

‘Hunk, Matt is your Guardian Angel, and my best friends soulmate. He’s a cheeky shit.’

Pidge laughed gleefully as Hunk’s jaw dropped slightly, “M-My Guardian Angel? How?”

Keith scrubbed out what he had written to create more room, ‘You had another Guardian, but they chose reincarnated, so Matt stepped in about 5 years ago.’

“Reincarnated?”

Keith should probably stop there on that discussion topic, so drew an ‘X’ in the middle of the board.

“Ah, I get it, can’t talk about that. Fair. That’s fair.”

‘What has he spoken to you about Pidge?’ Keith wrote next.

“Everything and nothing. How he and his soulmate are doing. He told me a story once about you moping for years, that was the first I heard about you. That was fun. What was that about again?” She teased, and Keith felt his cheeks growing red.

‘I had a good reason.’

“And that reason was?” She teased.

‘...I can’t tell you.’

Pidge burst into laughter again, Hunk following suit not long after, but to Keith’s surprise, so did Lance after a while. Small chuckles, but it still counted as laughter in Keith’s book. Did this mean Lance was warming up to Keith? Oh God he hoped so.

“Wait, going back to what you were saying earlier, about my Guardian Angel being your best friends soulmate, how does that work?”

Keith thought about his answer before writing it down. ‘Everyone has a soulmate, dead and alive.’ He was starting to tread into dangerous waters, with Lance’s contemplative look slightly worrying Keith.

Lance’s voice was soft, “You know who my soulmate is then?” And there it was. The question Keith could see churning through Lance’s mind.

Keith didn’t want to write his answer down. He would have to stop the conversation before it got too heavy.

But he wouldn’t lie to Lance. ‘Yes.’

That simple affirmation seemed to breathe life back into Lance’s being. His eyes shone at the board, most likely reading that singular word over and over again.

“Who-- Where---Where  _ are they? _ ” Lance’s voice seemed to break under the strain of emotion, and Keith could feel his heart break slightly. His wings shuffled behind him, itching to wrap Lance up, but he couldn’t.

His hand hovered above the board, before he finally lowered it and scrawled out the sad truth of their circumstance, ‘I can’t tell you right now. But you’ll find them. You will.’

Lance stared at the words, before a small smile made its way onto his features.  He leant back and Keith saw him swallow before muttering something.

“Sorry what was that?” Asked Hunk.

Lance looked up, his eyes slightly wet, yet he smiled. “I was just asking Keith if we could talk tonight. I have a couple things I think I need to say.”

“In private?” Hunk waggled his eyebrows, and Pidge giggled as Lance went red, his squawks of ‘Not like that!’ falling on deaf ears. But Keith wasn’t listening

At that admission Keith couldn’t believe his ears. His heart beating faster as a wide grin took over his features. He felt his wings flutter with excitement. Lance actually wanted to speak with him? Despite knowing everything? He hastily wrote down his message. ‘And you’ll believe me this time? About being your Guardian Angel?’

Lance nodded earnestly, “I’ll give it a shot, how about that?’

Lance’s voice was music to Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The joy i receive from your comments inspire me more than I would ever be capable of expressing. Each and every one fills me with such happiness and giddiness ahhhh I love you all.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and keith have a little bit of a convo. But with... a visitor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! 
> 
> This chapter marks where the 1st half of the story ends, so this fic is around just over halfway done I'd say? Ahh you're all gonna have to bare with me a little bit longer!!
> 
> I've been obsessed with ynn and dororo lately. Like holy shit im a mess rn. 
> 
> I might be taking a week off to try settle myself back into routine and to finish planning the ending!!

Before Lance fell asleep, he looked around his room, his eyes searching. His voice was soft, unsure, and there was the faintest blush on his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair in what Keith knew was an attempt at quelling it. “Uh… I guess I’ll see you soon?”

Keith snickered as he stood from Lance’s desk chair and made his way over to where Lance was shimmying himself into bed, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet. “See you soon,” Keith replied softly and waited till Lance had stopped moving about to place his fingers on Lance’s temples and feel the glide into Lance’s dreamscape. It always felt like someone had dumped cool water over him on a hot day -- refreshing and invigorating.

Everything was white around him, and Keith felt himself creating a scene he hadn’t for a while. Rolling blue waves gliding over white sand, lined with tall palms with the most emerald of fronds, casting down needed shade from the warmth of the sun and the heat Keith had created.

“So,” Came a voice behind him, light and airy but still slightly hesitant, Lance had always been good at hiding what he felt, “Those are some… big wings you got there?”

Keith turned around sharply, tips of his hair flicking him in the face and a small smile falling into place, count on Lance to make that sort of re-introduction, “Yeah, yeah they are, thanks for noticing?” Keith replied cheekily, his smile transforming into something more akin to a smirk. He turned to see Lance walking toward him slowly, and Keith’s wings fluttered slightly. They had always been more expressive of Keith’s thoughts then he would like them to be. Lance cocked his head slightly at the movement.

“Are they uh - Are they meant to do that?”

Keith shifted his weight to the side awkwardly and looked away, “Uh yeah,” He cleared his throat, “Yeah of course, why?”

Excellent Keith, turn it back on him, as if Lance could decipher that an Angel’s wings fluttering where basically the embodiment of how happy he was, mixed in with a raging blush that Keith had miraculously kept hidden in favour of snark.

Lance just hummed as he finally stopped in front of Keith, “Can I touch them?”

Keith’s mouth fell open, “Touch my -- You want to touch my wings?” He stared at Lance’s visible curiosity. Of course, from Lance’s perspective the question seemed innocent enough, but from Keith’s it told a very different story, being someone who knew what touching another's wings meant. A symbol of incredible intimacy, a sign of trust. Soul pairs would stroke and work their fingers through the others wings to comfort and soothe the other. It was like hugging someone you hadn’t seen in years that was so close to your heart. It brought bubbles of joy into your whole being. It was one of the best feelings in the world.

Or so he was told. He had always had only himself to do it, and while it made him happy when he did it to himself, it was a private affair, only done between a pair of angelic soulmates. It felt almost… wrong, to do it by himself. Lonely.

Did he want Lance to touch his feathers?  _ Hell yes _ . Keith nodded shallowly, his words  betraying him, stuck in his throat as he extended a wing in all of its glory. Lance grinned and extended an arm, causing Keith’s breath to hitch.

He began to card his fingers through the soft feathers, and Keith felt his eyes begin to close slightly at the warmth that spread through his whole body. He felt himself push his wing into Lance’s palm absentmindedly. His whole being felt warm. Not too hot to be uncomfortable. It was a soft heat that bubbled up in his chest that brought a soft smile to his face.

“Your fe… It’s so soft” Lance’s voice was so gentle, filled with an emotion that Keith could only recognise as awe-filled. He contracted his shoulder blades to stop his wings from shivering again, but it was too late, he felt them ripple and suddenly Keith wanted to cry out at the lack of Lance’s touch, his hand wrenched away in a flash.

“Sorry! I didn’t know it was painful for you.” His voice was so small and sincere that Keith wanted to grab Lance’s hand and place it on where his wings joined his body, the most sensitive place. He wanted to wrap Lance up and hold him close, despite his soulmate being a smidge taller.

“No! Just… Just sensitive,” He ground out awkwardly, reaching up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly, and pulled his outstretched wing back in.

Lance didn’t say anything, instead turning around to look around at the scenery, and Keith coughed, “Uh… sorry.”

The sound of waves behind them caught Lance’s attention, and he gave Keith a slightly excited smile before running into the water until it reached his knees. Keith followed after him until he stood right behind him.

Neither of them said anything, and Keith bit his lip, debating taking a risk or not.

Fuck it why not.

With a quick flick of the tip of his wing, he coated the back of Lance with salt water. Lance fell forward a step or two in surprise, obviously not expecting it, and Keith suddenly looked away, the paragon of false innocence as Lance whirled around. He only needed to whistle a little tune to complete the image.

“Hey!” And suddenly Keith had a face full of lukewarm salt water that spilled out of his open mouth. Lance’s smirk was devilish.

Oh it was  _ on _ .

Never one to decline a challenge, often picking all the challenges when he should really stop, Keith bent down into the water and with the combined forces of both hands and the tips of his wings, completely soaked Lance in one go.

Lance sputtered as he wiped water from his eyes, “No fair! No wings allowed!” It was so casual how he said it. Did he even realise?

Laughter ripped out of Keith, a singular peal of laughter that surprised not only Keith but Lance also, who looked at him with wide eyes and a slightly red face, before recovering and splashed him again, and before the pair knew it they were laughing and tussling in the water like they had been best friends for years.

They sat in the water, chests heaving, soaking wet and breathless grins that were wide and free.

“I,” Lance huffed, “I won.”

Keith let out what was more of a exhale of breath rather than a laugh, “You wish.”

The only sound was heavy breathing before the pair caught each others eyes and suddenly everything was funny. They both erupted into loud peals of laughter. Deep belly laughs that warmed Keith to his very core. Everything was absurdly hilarious, and Keith found himself laughing out all his fear and anxiety that he had felt going leaving his body. Keith raked a hand through his wet hair, little tendrils sneaking out and plastering themselves to his cheeks.

When they finally went to heave themselves out of the water, Lance offered his hand to help pull Keith up.  Keith had immediately clasped Lance’s outstretched hand, “Wings would be heavy, right?”

Being honest, Keith hadn’t really been thinking about his wings, nor the weight they carried. He was too busy staring at Lance shake all the wet droplets from his hair like a dog, and didn’t even fuss when droplets landed on him. “Huh? Oh yeah sure.”

They plopped onto the sand after Keith had dried them with a simple thought. After all, Keith controlled this mindscape. “So,” Keith started, a little nervous now that the fun had ceased. “You said you had things you wanted to talk about?”

Lance sobered as he turned to face Keith and nodded in confirmation, he sucked his teeth before starting to talk. “I just wanted to make sure. That you were who you said you were. That I wasn’t going crazy…” He trailed off. “I mean, I just wanted a double confirmation, I mean, I already spoke to Lotor.”

Ah. So this was what he wanted to talk about. Keith gave him a look that clearly said ‘well what did you talk about?’

Lance shrugged slightly, “I asked him about your appearance and your mannerisms actually, I wanted to try match Lotor’s Keith to uh… To you.”

“And how did that end up working for you?”

“Well he told me you were rough on the edges, and that’s been true.”

Keith elbowed him in the side lightly. Lance, being over dramatic, fell to his other side gasping of ‘fatal injuries’ and ‘overly bony elbows’

“You’ve wounded me Keith. How am I ever going to recover?” He cried, and Keith covered a chuckle with a hand. Lance joined in a second later as he pushed himself up.

“I’m glad we can speak like this again. I really li-” Lance cut himself off as he came down from his laughter.

“Me too.” He didn’t know what else to say. What was he meant to say?

“And I guess I just wanted to say I’m sorry? I-I treated you like shit when I should have listened to you from the start. I-I-I” Lance’s voice was wavering slightly when Keith cut him off.

“Lance it’s okay. It’s a lot to take in. Look where we are. We’re talking knowing we are, and I don’t care how we got here I would do it ten times over.” And he would. The time he had spent agonising, and wishing, and dreaming and hoping, all leading up to this moment, he would do them over and over if it meant Lance saw him. Acknowledged him. Knew him for who he was.

When Keith met Lance’s gaze, the other boy had bitten his lip, trying to keep his composure. “It’s okay Lance.” He put a hand tentatively on Lance’s back and rubbed his back softly.  Lance ducked his head away from Keith, but made no move to shirk his hand, so he didn’t stop.

Keith didn’t know how he was holding himself together if he was being honest with himself. “Lance I’m always here for you. I lo-” He was cut off by a loud crack, and Keith’s eyes widened as he whipped around to meet Shiro striding toward him, feathers ruffled and wings slightly raised. He made for an intimidating sight. But Keith couldn’t help but feel glad that he cut him off. It was not the time to go spilling his deepest secrets. What had he even been doing?! Telling Lance he loved him this early? Was he _ insane? _

“Keith Kogane,” He said as he approached them, and Keith knew that tone. That tone was Shiro’s own brand of fear mixed in with him trying to keep his composure. His voice was cool and seemingly composed.

Keith hopped up and Lance’s eyes flicked between the two Angels as he rose slowly.

“Keith,” He said again, his voice softer as his shoulders and wings lost tension, falling limply. Keith was freaking out internally. What happened. Was he okay? Was Matt okay? What happened?! His next words knocked the wind out of him.

“The council wants you.”

With those simple words Keith felt his world crash and crumble, he couldn’t even keep up the concentration to keep the mindscape altered, instead it fizzled out around him, returning to its original blank white slate. Lance jolted, not used to the action, but at this moment Keith couldn’t find himself caring. If the council wanted him, he fucked up big time.

This wouldn’t be pretty however it played out. His body was numb, and he felt coldness seeping into his limbs.

“What did you do?” Lance’s voice shook as he took a step back, and Keith internally wept, was this Lance pulling back from him? From how far they had come?

It was Shiro who answered, Keith himself not knowing the answer. “He used an ouija board to contact you and your friends. The wall between dreams and reality has been broken.”

Keith shut his eyes. He knew it had been a bad idea. He  _ knew _ and he had done it anyway. He felt it in his gut  _ why didn’t he just listen to himself! _ His swallowed around the thick lump as his hands began to shake.

“What does that mean?”

Keith wanted to tell Shiro to stop. Stop telling Lance this. Stop telling him about his failures. Stop it. Stop it.  _ Stop it.  _ But he knew Shiro wouldn’t. He would answer Lance’s questions because Lance deserved an explanation.

Keith just didn’t want Lance seeing him like this.

He heard Shiro swallow, but Keith forced himself to speak around the lump in his throat, his voice cracked and broken, if anyone was going to tell Lance, he would rather it be him, even if it was too early, “An Angel has full control of what happens in the dreamscape, can wipe memories, alter them--”

Lance cut him off, “Why didn’t you do that with me?”

“He didn’t want to change anything, he was willing to take full responsibility for what happened with you. A Guardian is responsible for their own charge, but not with others.”

“But Pidge and Matt!” Keith protested. It wasn’t fair! Keith reaches out once, only once, and the council springs on his ass, but Matt and Pidge have been talking for  _ how many years? _

Keith opened his eyes, still blurry with tears, and saw Shiro wearing the same expression. “Most of the time it gets let under the radar, the council is lazy, but you and him?” Shiro swallowed thickly, “In special cases not.” He met Shiro’s eyes, “Run Keith. Hide from the council. We both know they won’t be kind a second time.”

Keith became rooted to the ground, his whole body frozen as his tears threatened to fall. No.

“Wiping?” He uttered, his voice breaking in the middle. Shiro nodded, and all of Keith’s worst fears were suddenly reality. Wiping was the erasure of a soul from existence, and Keith and Lance were soulmates, two halves of the same soul…

Shiro’s voice was grim, “Hide from the council until Matt and I can find a solution. Even if it’s temporary. There has to be a way out of this.” Shiro’s gaze burned Keith to his core. He had disappointed the man in front of him. His own Guardian. His first friend. His brother. The person that had been there for him as long as he could remember and even beyond that, and this was how he repaid him.

What neither Angel was expecting was Lance to speak up about something he knew nothing about. “Wait wait wait  _ wait _ ,” He butt in, rubbing a temple with his fingers, coincidentally where Keith’s fingers lay outside the dreamscape. “You,” He gestured to Shiro with raised eyebrows and an air of disbelief, “Want Keith to break your laws even more,” He stressed, “to make everything better?”

“Well when you put it that way it sounds stupid as fuck,” Keith muttered, his arms crossed in a semblance of a hug and his voice small and broken. Shiro gave Lance a tired smile. The pair would get along brilliantly, it was a shame this was how they met.

“Hide till we contact you.”

What choice did he have? He had to. He had to do whatever he could to save both himself and Lance. Lance didn’t even know the full extent of what would happen if they traveled down the route of inaction, or if any mistakes were made.

How was he, the universe's biggest fuck up, meant to do this right? He needed Shiro’s help more than anything. For the both of them. “H-How?”

Shiro’s jaw was clenched, and he took a deep breath. “Your Grace. Hide it.”

“Grace? Who’s - What’s Grace?” And Keith began to  _ burn _ .

“Grace is what makes an Angel an Angel. The council called it grace because they didn’t know what the fuck to call it.” Keith’s tone was abrasive, white hot fury and determination seeping into his veins. Fury that he had gotten them into this situation but determined, oh so very determined to get them  _ out _ of it.

“It connects an Angel to the universe. It’s how he can do,” Shiro gestured to the white dreamscape around him with his arm, “This. It shouldn’t affect him not having it… well, not much.”

Keith didn’t want to listen, didn’t want to see the look on Lance’s face nor the disappointment on Shiro’s, and felt himself sinking to the floor, a million thoughts running through his head. A lot more self-destructive ones than he’d care to admit.

“What do you mean?”

God bless Shiro and his never-ending patience, “It’s cheating death. Keith  _ died  _ Lance, and he can’t go back to being alive as he is. But hiding your Grace, it hides Keith’s location from the council. It’s our biggest taboo. If anyone finds out he did it, and knowing his situation, he’ll be immediately reincarnated.”

“Reincarnated? Why wouldn’t you want that?” So Lance was talking to him now.

Keith wanted to speak through his arms that covered his face. But he found himself meeting Lance’s eyes, and his voice shook with every word. “I- I’m waiting for someone. If I get reincarnated now, I’d never see them again until they died and if they choose to wait for me.”

Lance’s shoulders slumped. “That sounds sad.”

“It’s the universe's biggest game of cat and mouse,” He said morbidly before forcing himself to stand and face Shiro. His eyes were wet but firm, “I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?” The older angel asked, knowing full well Keith’s answer wouldn’t change.

“You’ll hold onto it for me? You know I can only trust you with this.”

“Wait, didn’t you say earlier your… council or whatever, can track you with it? Won’t they track it to you?” Lance was thoroughly confused, and Keith hoped that he would be able to explain everything in detail someday.

“Grace is pure energy with no ties to anything. But when an Angel wears their Grace, all that energy doesn’t fit into their vessel, and it creates a residue that's tinged with the soul of its vessel, and when mixed together, creates a trail.”

“So if Keith hides his?”

“I can’t be tracked unless another Angel gives me away.”

“Which won’t happen,” Shiro assured. It was true. Angels not only hate the council with a burning passion, but also have some of the strongest bonds with each other in existence, second only to soulmates. Any Angel that senses Keith’s distress with protect him. Who know death could be such a great bonding tool?

Keith took in a deep breath as he gave Shiro a tight hug. When they parted, Shiro smiled gently. Keith shifted his eyes to Lance, who was chewing his lip looking at the pair.

Keith cleared his throat, getting rid of the lump as he tried to sound more confident than he really was. This could end horribly. But he had to try. For both of them. “Time to cheat death.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for making it this far. I really appreciate the time you all take out of your day to read my silly little fic. It warms my heart!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh guess whose back!! Uni's started back up again and it's already kicking my ass, so idk how well im gonna manage updating weekly, or if anyones even still reading this since voltron ended a while ago now, but i can still hope and try my best!!

Keith breathed deeply through his nose, his eyes closed before it melted to a soft smile as he turned to Lance as he tried to mentally collect himself, a strained smile that both Lance and Keith knew was to comfort the latter rather than the former. A steely smile with thinly veiled vulnerability, a smile that parents gave their children, or older siblings gave to the younger,  an ‘It will be okay, everything will work out perfectly fine’ smile, when in reality they had no clue, not a single idea what the future held in store.

Lance huffed a laugh at Keith, an easy and believable smile in place, “Is this the part where I say something cool like ‘catch you on the other side?’” He winked and chucked up a pair of finger guns, and Keith felt his smile become instantly more real. “Catch you on the other side.”

Keith covered his small laugh with his hand, and Lance jolted slightly, and Keith looked up curiously, but Lance avoided his eyes, fidgeting with his retracted fingers, slightly red in the face as he turned his head to the ground, and Keith’s head cocked to the side slightly in confusion at Lance’s actions.

Shiro cleared his throat awkwardly, and Keith blinked, turning his eyes away from his soulmate, he had forgotten the other man had been standing there watching them, and felt his own blush fill onto his cheeks. “As fun as this is, Keith and I better get started.” He met Keith’s eyes, “Keith, cut the connection, let's get this over with.” His tone, while sounding authoritative, sounded slightly hollow to Keith’s ears. A hollowness that Keith himself shared. He was endangering everyone around him, and he could only pray that the council could be persuaded by Shiro for an easier punishment on those around him. Primarily Matt, Shiro and Lance. He had placed Shiro in a terrible position, pushing him to almost do the impossible, and Keith could understand if Shiro wanted nothing more to do with him after this.

Keith swallowed those thoughts down as he nodded, he’d think about that later. But right now he needed to focus on  _ who _ was in front of him. He opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out. Lance’s hands rested on his hips, the movement seeming so easy and natural, hardly carrying the weight of the conversation. Then again, Lance didn’t  _ know _ the weight of it. “You’ll be fine. Just you know… find me? Y’know, when you’re human?”

“Well he won’t be human he’ll just be -”

Keith cut Shiro off, a faint dust of red appearing on his cheeks. “Always. Now, please don’t wake up.” He bit the insides of his cheeks, and reached over to Lance, putting his fingertips on Lance’s temples to the shock of the other. Of course, Keith didn’t  _ need  _ to do this, he just  _ really _ wanted to. Needed to appease an incredibly human notion to make sure that the Lance in front of him was _ real _ and not a figment of his imagination. At the slight touch of warm skin, Keith smiled, a true smile, and Lance, once recovered from Keith’s calloused and  broke out into a matching one as Keith ended the connection.

When he opened his eyes back up in the real world, he immediately noticed Shiro in the room and he felt his worlds collide. He stood up from Lance’s bed, casting the sleeping boy a warm look. His fingertips left Lance’s temples reluctantly. He looked at his sleeping soulmate, and only dragged his gaze away when Shiro spoke, quiet and soft.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“So much Shiro, so,  _ so _ much.” The amount of emotion in Keith’s voice was almost tangible.

Shiro took in a sharp breath. “Then let's get this over with shall we?”

Keith’s wings shivered anxiously and he stopped, pulling his wings around to hug himself gently, the comforting warmth seeping into his body.

His wings. They were part of who he was, symbolising so much of who he had become and how he had changed from who he used to be. They had never let him down. To say goodbye to them, even if it wasn’t for long, was unexpectedly heart-wrenching. He felt a lump in his throat and he  _ knew _ he was going to cry. He reached a tentative outstretched hand to where his feathers were longest, fingers enclosing around one as he took a deep breath before yanking it out in a smooth but painful movement. He felt a jolt of white-hot pain rip through his wing and down into his spine. Keith took a shallow breath as he looked at the feather that lay in between his fingers. He placed it on Lance’s bed slightly mournfully. He wanted to keep at least some part of who he was with him.

 

Keith flicked his eyes up to Shiro, his uncertain eyes giving way to a bright, burning flame and nodded sharply. 

 

* * *

 

Okay. Okay. Keith was okay.

He was okay, right?

He couldn’t remember a thing about how he separated himself from his Grace. All he could remember was his centre of gravity suddenly changing and sending him completely off balance. But hey, was he expecting any different? His unbalance stuck in the back of his mind as he moved. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were tight. Dried tears. How much had he cried to have felt like this?

As for Shiro, one second he was there, the next second he wasn’t. Keith knew that he was still there. The faint smell of jasmine still lingered in the air, just as a slight tingling sensation rested across his shoulders, and he smiled as he hung his head to the seemingly angel-less room. Shiro was right next to him, wing stretched over his back to comfort him. He closed his eyes, and the feeling disappeared, the scent of jasmine already seeming more stale and faint than it had just seconds previous.

Shiro was gone and Keith was well and truly alone.

He reached a hand behind him, to feel the smooth skin that covered his back, nothing but an expanse that he was so unused to, the ridges on his spine feeling like mountains and valleys beneath his searching fingertips. He let his arm drop, and wrapped his hands around himself as he opened his eyes with a deep exhale.

The silence seemed to grow and pulsate around him, and Keith could feel it eating into his skin. Swallowing him in ways he had forgotten about. He felt so small, so insignificant. Like the darkness could still swallow him whole and still be ravenous. He had forgotten what being so painfully  _ human  _ felt like. Or, as close to human as he was going to get.

His fingers dug into his arms as he made his way over to Lance’s window, to take in the stars with what felt like new eyes. He didn’t like this new.

The stars. They looked so far away. Too far away. Too far out of his reach. The clouds too. Keith raised a hand to the glass of the window and bit his lip. How long was he going to be like this? This… this helpless? This alone?

The shifting of fabric behind Keith startled him from his reverie, and he turned to find Lance kicking out and shifting in place in his bed. Keith’s eyes softened, that’s right. He wasn’t alone. He could do this. He had Lance by his side.

Keith sat in Lance’s chair, adjusting how he sat now that his wings were gone. Keith didn’t think he’d ever get used to that feeling. He almost felt naked without his wings. How had he ever lived for eighteen years without them?

Feeling wide awake he checked the time, grateful to find that the sun was due to start rising any second.  He yawned as he deliberated. Lance had a week left of term and would be graduating at the end of the next term. Considering Keith wouldn’t be able to go to school with Lance anymore, he wasn’t invisible and would get more than a few stares if he continued to tail him. So he needed another way to spend his days. A job? Would Keith even be able to get one? You needed paperwork for that right? Plus, ‘Keith Kogane’ had been dead for years. That little tidbit wouldn’t work in his favour at all.

He sighed again, shifting his thoughts to where he would even stay. Would he be able to sleep with the McClain's or would he have to improvise? If he could stay with Lance and his family, how would Lance even explain his presence? Keith wouldn’t want to be there for that conversation at all. He groaned as he rested his elbows on Lance’s desk, sliding his head into his hands.

 

Only once he yawned again did he realise his thoughts were becoming fuzzy. Guess he wasn’t as wide awake as he thought he was. He’d close his eyes for a little bit and think on it later, that would work, right?

* * *

 

 

When he snapped his eyes open a groan ripped itself out of his throat and he wiped his eyes. He felt the warmth of - something encompassing him, and he shot up, feeling heavy fabric sliding off of him. He looked down to find himself swathed in doona covers he knew to be Lance’s.  But… he had fallen asleep at the desk, how come he was here? Keith felt his eyes widen as he looked up to the desk in question, and swallowed as he saw Lance lazily draped in the comfy chair. “Morning sleeping beauty.” He smirked, and Keith couldn’t ignore the fact that Lance wasn’t wearing a shirt. 

Keith’s mouth was dry and he gaped like a fish, “M-Morning?” He stuttered awkwardly, trying to look  _ anywhere else _ , throwing the sheets off of himself and putting his feet on the floor, feeling the timber beneath his soles.

“So I guess all that last night was real?”

Keith shot a dry, still sleepy look before focusing on Lance’s face, all previous thoughts cleared from his mind before his eyes dropped exactly where he didn’t want them wandering, but stopped not on Lance, but what he was holding instead. The same long black feather that Keith had pulled out the night previous. Lance noticed his dropped gaze, following his eyes to the feather “This yours?” Lance asked.

The dry look turned into something akin to a smile, the action surprisingly easy. He had been smiling so much more than he used to, yet he didn’t answer so Lance continued. “You fell asleep here, but you looked uncomfortable so I-,” Lance coughed into a fist, “I moved you to the bed. I hope you don’t mind?”

Words got stuck in Keith’s throat. He didn’t mind at all! “Y-yeah that’s fine. Thanks” Lance beamed at Keith, before looking down at the feather once more. There was a small silence before Keith and Lance both started to talk at once.

“You go first.”

“No, you can.”

Lance placed the feather behind him on his desk as he adjusted how he was sitting and cleared his throat. “Okay, who was that other guy, um, you know the one with the -” Lance made a small gesture to his nose, Shiro. Keith was kind of surprised he didn’t gesture to Shiro’s lack of an arm, but pleasantly so. He had always told Shiro it was easy to look past.

Keith nodded, “That was Shiro, he was my Guardian when I was alive.”  Lance’s brow furrowed, and Keith felt like he needed to continue somehow, “He’s like a big brother to me,” He added as an afterthought, but he could have sworn that he saw Lance’s eyes brighten slightly, trick of the light maybe?

Lance licked his lips before he spoke, “What’s it like, the afterlife I mean. Is it called that? Can I even ask that?” Lance’s questions spilled out of him and Keith had to stop himself from chuckling. He was so cute.

He shrugged and ran a hand through his slightly knotted hair as he shook off the last vestiges of sleep. “I’m graceless right now, can’t be tracked.” He said nonchalantly, “So as long as you didn’t tell anyone, I could answer almost anything. All you’d have to do ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this, it really warms my heart to know that you've stuck with me, and I appreciate each and every one of you!! <3 <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm proud to tell you at this point that i have no clue what the actual fuck Im doing anymore.

Keith watched in amusement as Lance’s jaw dropped, “E-everything? How much even is that? Can we start simple?” Lance ran a hand through his hair and puffed out his cheeks as he exhaled, leaning back into his chair, “What happens when you die?” 

Keith bit his lip in contemplation, deliberating how to explain something he had never really given much thought to. Most people he spoke to nowadays had had the same shared experience, though most didn’t like talking about it, and the reasons behind that seemed obvious to Keith. Just because he was okay with dying doesn’t mean everyone shared that same train of thought.

“Well,” He started, and cracked a knuckle absentmindedly, “Everything goes black, then it’s just… you just… seem to wake up again?” He shrugged before continuing, “And bam, you’ve got wings on your back and that’s it. You kinda… wander around for a little while, you know, figure out what you want to do and all that.” He trailed off and wished he was able to explain things properly.

Keith could almost  _ see _ the cogs starting to turn in Lance’s head. “What choices even are there?”

He smirked, “Why? Wanna start choosing now?” Keith’s tone was joking, but Lance started to flounder, his hands suddenly splayed out in front of him.

“N-No why would I do that! I-I’m onl-” Lance trailed off when he saw the smile that had made its way onto Keith’s face. His hands and shoulders dropped before he flatly stated, “You were messing with me.”

Keith gave a small nod and chuckled, hiding his expanding smile behind a hand as Lance blushed. _ Cute. _

He coughed into his hand before continuing, “You have three choices,” Keith flicked up two fingers to accentuate his point before realising he was missing one and raising a third quickly, but not before Lance saw it and snorted, a soft snort that Keith ignored, “You can become a Guardian, like me for starters. You can settle down and stay as an Angel forever, like Shiro and his soulmate,  _ or, _ you reincarnate yourself.” At Lance’s confused face Keith rambled on, “When you reincarnate, you lose all your memories of your time as an angel, and all your previous lives if you have any and you get to live a new life, become someone different, then when you die again you regain all your memories.”

Lance seemed to think for a few seconds, his brow scrunching delicately, “That gives me several different questions.” Keith just looked at Lance and nodded his head, inviting him to ask.

It felt surreal to Keith, he had waited how long to be this close, this open with his soulmate, all that time waiting, wondering if the day would ever truly come. And he was right there, open and receptive to what Keith had told him. His heart fluttered, everything had not been for naught. Their bond, and how it had grown and developed thus far, it gave him hope for their future.

“Angels still have soulmates? And you can be with them forever?” Lance’s voice was so, so  _ hopeful _ , and knowing he was inadvertently talking about staying with him made his heart soar, and he broke out into a large grin.

“Lance,” He started softly, his tone bursting with love for the younger boy and he leaned forward inadvertently, “Soulmates are just two halves of the same soul. Of course Angels still have soulmates! And after lifetimes, in the end, once they’ve found each other in death they’ll stay together forever.” 

Lance swallowed and licked his lips, “You said you were waiting for someone, did you mean you-”

“My soulmate, yep. My soulmates still alive.” 

Lance blinked, “That must be… difficult, not being able to be with them.”

“We’ve missed each other in every lifetime so far. We haven’t even -” Keith cut himself off. Sure they missed each other in some lifetimes and were so close in others, but their past didn’t speak for their future.

“We were so close one lifetime.” Keith smiled at his soulmate, “We were both nurses in the second World War, we worked next to each other and everyone was so surprised about how well we worked together.”

Keith’s smile turned tender as he remembered. Lance had been a short Scottish woman named Blair with a temper as fiery as her hair. Keith had towered over her. Of course, Keith had not been Keith, rather a new Australian nurse named Emily who had been a rather meek and timid version of who Keith was now.

“What happened?”

“She got hurt and in the end I couldn’t save her. It was only after she died that I found out we were soulmates. They chose to reincarnate while I lived another forty years. In another, we were both scholars during the Renaissance. At the time my soulmate, Louis, was my mentor. We ended up on the cusp of a romantic relationship, but um... someone wasn’t happy that a girl from a fisherman’s family had ended up by his side that I was uh…” Keith trailed off with a nonchalant shrug. That hadn’t been a very happy time of Keith’s existence and he had foolishly chosen reincarnation to try to find his soulmate again.

Lance looked at him with sombre eyes, “So now you want to stay with them, as Angels.”

Keith nodded, searching Lance’s face while the other smiled wistfully, “That sounds really nice.”  Keith’s lips parted slightly, happy that Lance approved of his plans, and he looked at Lance with a wide smile on his face.

A simple, “Thanks,” Was all he was able to manage around the butterflies in his chest.

Lance coughed awkwardly into his hand, a dusting of red on his features. “So what are we going to say to Mama to let you stay here?” He rushed out quickly, effectively changing the topic.

“I don’t know. We can’t exactly tell her the truth.” Keith’s tone was dry, and Lance smiled wickedly.

“We can always tell her you’re a friend from school that got kicked out of home?”

Keith’s face fell flat, his tone dry, “We are  _ not _ saying that.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Mama!” Lance called, his voice reverberating throughout the house, “I found this friend from school that got kicked out! Can he stay with us for a bit?”

How did Lance talk him into this? Oh right, Keith loved him too much and would do anything for him.

He was a stupid, lovesick man.

Keith was lost in his self-pity when Lance bumped his shoulder, snapping him out of his reverie, a grin on his face. “She said it’s cool.”

Keith’s voice was low and dry, “I can’t believe that worked.”

Lance shot him a cheeky grin, “I can.” And that was that. Lance started bounding back up the stairs, leaving Keith to follow and found himself shrugging lightheartedly. Guess he was staying with the Mcclains.

 

* * *

 

Lance let out a small ‘oof’ as he flopped back onto his soft doona, and raised his head to see Keith standing awkwardly at his door. “Make yourself at home I guess.”

Suddenly Keith whirred to life and made his way over to Lance, and sat down gingerly as if trying to not mess up the already messed up bedsheets. He rolled his shoulders around, still trying to adjust to the lack of his wings. He reached back mindlessly to started scratching the area as best he could. A small annoying itch had cropped up ever since he transferred his Grace, an itch that he couldn’t seem to get rid of. He furrowed his brow as he tried to dig his fingers into the spot where his wings used to connect to his body, trying in vain to shift the itch.

“You doing okay?” Came Lance’s voice from the bed, and Keith looked down to his curious soulmate. He had forgotten he was even there, so involved in his own world and this _ itch _ . He opened his mouth to reply, but shut it with a loud clack of his teeth. How would Lance even be able to help? Answer: He couldn’t, so Keith didn’t see the need to share with the class.

“It’s nothing,” He shook his head minutely, and forcibly dragged his fingers away from his rubbed raw skin, having to interlock his fingers together in front of him as hard as he could to try stop them from immediately trying again. His fingers twitched as the itch seemed to suddenly flare.

“Doesn’t look like nothing,” Lance dragged himself upwards so he was sitting next to Keith, shoulders so close they could almost be touching. His eyes travelled to Keith’s back. “It’s your wings, right? Or uhh…”

“What’s left of them,” Keith finished before nodding, “But yeah.” His eyes were everywhere but looking back into Lance’s imploring gaze.

“I could um…” Lance trailed off with an audible swallow, and Keith finally looked at his soulmate from the edge of his eyes. Lance dragged and bit at his lips, and Keith had to forcefully keep his eyes on Lance’s own. When he made a sound of questioning, Lance shook his head sheepishly.

“I was just gonna ask if you wanted me to-” He raised both his hands awkwardly, and Keith made a slight noise when he understood.

He wanted to -? Right where his wings connected? The thought alone caused a bright flush to light up Keith’s cheeks and he felt his heart started to jackhammer in his chest.

Lance saw Keith’s blush and must have misinterpreted it as horror, because he threw his arms up in a placating gesture, “Yeah it was weird I’m sor-”

Keith cut him off, “Go for it,” He looked at Lance, making sure this time to face Lance straight on, and tried to maintain eye contact despite a roaring blush. This meant a lot to Keith, even if Lance had no idea.

At Lance’s stunned expression, Keith adjusted himself slightly, having more of his back face Lance’s direction. He moved his hair out of the way, even though he knew it wasn’t long enough to reach anywhere near where he ached.

Lance made a choking sound at how forward Keith was being, and Keith understood. He didn’t know fully what he was doing. His body was just… moving before he had a second to think about his actions and their consequences.

Keith was hardly expecting Lance to actually follow through, and was ready for a flood of shame to start to course through his veins, but when a tentative hand pressed itself against his back, he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from making a sound of bliss.

Lance’s touch was warm, even through his shirt, and it was real. No illusions and no dreams to separate them. This was them. Lance and Keith. This was theirs.

Keith didn’t want to push himself into Lance’s touch, but he had craved this for so long. It seemed to light a fire, a warmth that spread through his body that felt so  _ right.  _ He craved affection and touch from no one else but Lance. Lance was his as he was Lance’. He closed his eyes in contentment as Lance seemed to work through his initial hesitation, as he had slowly started to push slightly firmer thumbs right where he needed it. “Does this hurt?” Lance’s voice was oddly soft, and Keith ignored it, and shook his head. His ministrations had turned into a mini-massage, and the itch was completely gone.

“Not at all.” He stretched his neck out slightly, relishing in his touch, and Lance continued working. Keith ran a hand through his hair and rested his hand on the back of his neck when Lance suddenly yanked his fingers away, the warmth starting to fade almost immediately.

Lance’s fingers twitched as Keith turned his head around. “Sorry, I gotta umm… I gotta go pee?” Lance wasted no time leaping off the bed and making a beeline for the bathroom.

Keith cocked his head slightly. What was that about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all and appreciate you so much! Thank you for sticking with me!

**Author's Note:**

> aaassss always, let me know what you think I did well with, what I sucked at, what you liked and what you hated!! And any ideas about future plot development!! I love hearing from you!!!


End file.
